Have any of you ever requested that your WS write an apology letter? I was thinking about it but not sure if it's a good idea to request it I might not get what I expect or TMI.

What do you guys think??

Thanks
Chris

Hello Chris,

I asked for an apology letter and flowers.  I got the flowers several months later and a verbal "Im sorry".  Although it wasnt quite what I expected, I guess I generally got what I asked for.  Now, the real question...was it a sincere apology?  Nope! So whether you get what you asked for or not, you have every right to ask for it if it is what you need to heal. It will also give you some insight as to whether or not your WS is willing to do what it takes.  No letter, well then you know what that means...dont hide your head in the sand and dont be afraid to ask for what you need. 

Take Care...Carol~

My WS has sent me many e-mails of apology and I have kept each one and when I get down or trigger I reread them. It all started by me e-mailing him and simply asking him how could he do what he did. If you and your H do not e-mail each other, I would suggest you write him a letter that ask the questions that you need answered. I would start small, and work your way up to the big questions. If you flat out ask your H for a letter of apology, you may get a half hearted or an insincere apology that might not bring you any comfort. It is easy for them to say or write they are sorry, but it takes time for some WS's to really be sorry for what they have done. Good luck, and know I am thinking about you and will pray for you. Mouse

Good idea Mouse....Carol~

Chris,

My H and I do lots of journal writing. We are 6 years after d day and still find the need to write things out with no interruptions. We keep our open journal under the mattress of our bed. We never keep it after we read it but do discuss it. We are on our second shredder and this one is starting to act up.

There is something about writing things out that helps to put things in perspective. There is also a powerful gesture of honesty that goes along with reading your partners writing. It is harder to lie in writing.

I think any kind of writing that works would be helpful.

Express your need to your spouse Chris.

Amber