I cant believe it. I was talking to my sister in law, who was at a mutual friends house. When i asked to talk to our friend she was in histerics. Her husband moved out about 2 weeks ago. She had received a call while i was talking to my sil the call was from a man looking for her husband. This man ended up being the husband of a women that my friends husband has been having an a. We all know all too well exactly what she is feeling right now. I felt so bad. I tried to help, but heres my delema. I have told none of our friends, and none of my side of the family. They would kill my h. The friend i speak of is intermigled with my family and i know they would find out. I want so much to be there for her and tell her all ive learned. The selfish side on the other hand wants to keep the knowledge of the a to as few as possible. I want to tell her about this site cause its done wonders for me, but i dont want her to find my posts and my screen name is not very descrete. I never thought of her h as the type, but heck never thought of mine that way either. I really could use some insite and advice on this please help i feel so torn, but my family can not find out.

Thanks for any advice you can give
Andria25

Andria,

I'm sorry that one more innocent person has been hurt. Sigh.

I suggest that you discuss with your H about telling her. You could also change your posting name here. If you wanted to remain anonymous, you could always email or mail her the website info and a list of books and maybe even some printouts from dearpeggy.com or the like to help her.

Or send me her phone number and I'll call her! No, really, and I am NOT kidding!

I know this is a difficult situation for you.

Fairy hugs,

fairyfriend

Andria,

I just wanted to say that you are obviously a good friend - you want to share your exp with her to help her and ease her pain.

Kudos to you - no advice on how to handle it though. Thats a tough one.

My thoughts are with you both.

Coral

hugssssss wish i could be more of help.... this would be tough cause you want to help but not give out what you are going through...sending lots of hugs your way. to get throught this...

april

I had a similar situation once. I decided against giving her information on the site b/c of annonymity issue. I was mainly concerned that she'd recognize me by putting two and two together. However, I sent her several links to a few resources that I knew about, just telling her I was think about her and decided to look up some resources that might be helpful to her. Actually I think my wife passed them on to her for me.

She appreciated the help. My wife has told me that our friend likes to get my perspective on her situtation because I seem to have more insight than most people (her husband has been involved for ~2 yrs now and has not tried to reconcile). I don't think she knows our situation, I guess she just thinks I can empathise with what she is experiencing.

TomJ