It has been one year and thank you for everyones support and just being there.
I find myself in a very awkward position. One month ago, we were finished, she never came out of the fog and I accepted it and started to move on. Then, out of no where she reversed and is reimposing herself on my life.
I am very confused, I do not think she has really changed, she is using the same manipulation tactics to get back in the marriage that she used to get out.
I am torn between my desires for family, my children and her. I do not like who she has become but I still feel the pull to keep my family together.
Is there anyone out there who has turned against their WS and had to deal with their return?
i guess what you need to work out is how to have your family particularly without having your wife. it can be done, with some difficulty at times but it can be done.
unless you can trust the change in her behaviour, then she just has to wear the consequences of her actions, and you just keep moving on with the kids and without her
In as sense, we've all had to deal with our hearts turning against our WS and dealing with their return, although in different degrees, since this is essentially what occurs in the affair. But I realize that you're looking for people with an experience similar to yours. I'm sure that it has occurred. Many, many, times it seems the wayward spouse finally does the turn around with the betrayed finally has so much pain that they cut their emotional ties to the wayward one. Sadly it can be too little, too late.
Remember that YOU have the power to choose if you will allow a relationship to resume with your wife or not. You are not obligated to allow her back into your life, and if you willing to try, you have every right to demand that she meet certain requirements. You have the right to limit the commitment you have to the relationship until you have a certain amount of confidence that she is no longer the person she has become (which is probably a lot more like the person she always has been, but kept hidden from you and anyone else).
Don't be afraid to insist that she take steps to correct her character issues that lead to the affair and remaining the fog. I don't think I'd be willing to continue a relationship with my wife if she had not addressed those issues and was not still working to subdue them.
Nearly 6 years ago I found out about my W's 3 year affair. This is a tough road we have been forced to walk.
Your W's sudden U turn in regard to you and your marriage is probably her realizing that she is loosing you. Maybe she assumed that she could do anything and you'd stick around regardless. Now this assumption of her's is falling apart and she is scrambling to keep you.
