I know this is all so incredibly hard, and you would like nothing more than to be over and done with it all, but really, what you are going through at this point is where most people are in there healing. I say healing because, even though it doesn’t feel like it, you have healed. Just as a person who looses a loved one goes through, and, back and forth through several states, you will too. Recovering from the trauma of our spouses infidelity is comparable to a death. Who you were, who your spouse was, and what your thought your life was, has been ripped from you and you have no bearings on which to stand. You are grieving the losses while trying to get your footing on a platform that no longer exists, so part of you is trying to construct a new platform, but the old ideas you find so comfortable just don’t work anymore. This is why it is such a slow process, little tiny baby steps at a time you are building yourself a new foundation. Look back to D-day, there are areas where you have improved, I’m sure if you look hard you can see them. The problem is we expect too much of ourselves, any healing is progress, you have to build on the tiny bits.

Life will, in time, get better. Somewhere around the 2.5 year mark I started to find me again and today, 5 years later, that hurting BS is a memory and no longer a reality.

Ami