Recently my son and i were watching tv and one of the characters on the show was a prostitutes. His father was caught last March by me cheating on me with prostitutes. Naturally this was a trigger for me. But I survived. My son began this conversation about how could any man ever go with a hooker? How disgusting the thought of this was to him. I remained calm and let him speak with little comments other than "Yeah, I know!"
He thinks the reason we separated was due to his father getting caught talking to other women on a phone chat line. Originally that was the start of my D-day but it quickly escalted until I discovered everything.
My question is did I handle this situation correctly? Should I have commented or inquired more to see if my son knows about his fathers issues? We are trying to reconcile and working very hard thru all of the pain.
What will happen if my son talks about this with his father and isn't aware of his fathers issues? Should I tak to his father about this in case it comes up while I am not around?
Do you think my son was trying to see my reaction or just making a comment because he is 14 years old andtrying to figure stuff like this out?
I personally think you did the right thing...your son doesn't need to know his father was with prostitutes...he is only 14..
Yes tell your H what happened and let him handle any questions from you son.
I again think that children shouldn't be told about what happens in a marriage...the A's, ONS's...Children can be told that parents are having problems and working on making things better...they don't need the details...Children are astute today they know things are happening, but not to their parents...they like to feel secure
Children have enough things happening in their own lives that they don't need to be burdened with parents problems..
When my son was in his teens, we spent a lot of time in the car...Dr Laura was on the radio at 3 pm and we had many wonderful discussions about her advice, and the conversation you had with your son was just a generic topic and point of discussion.
Pat
"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."
Hi Dale, I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know my husband saw prostitutes too. It has been 4 years for me since he told me. After many many painful months, life has become so much better. He was extremely remorseful and did everything he possibly could do to help himself and me.
But I will tell you that I understand how you feel your husbands ONS are different than most on this board. I have never quite been able to get over that that my H could pay someone for sex. To this day, it still totally disgusts me. Sometimes when I remember I still can't believe he was capable of doing such a thing. But then I remind myself, he is not that man anymore. He has done the work to not go back to that place.
We did not tell our children. They were all teenagers when it came out. They did know we were having problems, but we did not go in to the details. I'm glad they don't know. I know it would destroy my husband and their relationship if they were to find out. I think you handled it just great when you were with your son.
It was really nice to hear that I am nopt alone in my depression...I can completely relate to your feelings of disbelief. I feel exactly the same way when I remember that he went out and paid for it instead of making love to me...it stings more than I can say
I hope some day the pain will lessen but i am waiting for then
D-day is so close that I am scared..I know the memories and feelings will come back strong
If you would like please contact me via email so that we can talk...I really need someone who understands how it feels for your husband to be with hookers
Not to think that my pain is greater than anyone elses here...just different on different levelsw
