i discovered this idea from another website. i think it is incredible and wanted to share it with everyone.
Yesterday was d-day for me. a very difficult day. I was able to come thru it due to a lot of wonderful friends and my H. He was very supported and loving. He made sure I didn't push him away.
The day ended with us writing down ten things (reasons) why we loved the other one. Then we gave each other our lists. It was a wonderful way to stop and think of all of the little and big reasons why I chose him and am still with him. We will be doing this on the 27th of each month. It will hopefully transform the 27th into something positive and loving instead of dreadful and hurtful.
During the month you can look each day for little reasons or things the other one does that makes you love them. We will be exchanging lists in a special way each month. Whether it be at a dinner, quietly at home, or even in our favorite park. It will be our own way of valuing and acknowledging our love and relationship.
Hope others think this could help them also. I am trying to view my entire life in a more positive light and this is one step.
Let me know what you all think....
This is a great idea. I actually saw it talked about on a talk show one day when I was home feeling blue. I wished at the time that I had an H that would be invested in our M and would want to do this. That time may be here now.
Thank you for the reminder on this.
Cheers,
Coral
"A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind."
Sounds like one of the MC sessions me and WH had after d-day #1, too bad my WH was not a willing particpant and would not do his homework. MC lasted for about 4 or 5 sessions when WH declared we no longer needed to go, lol. I too was looking for the positives, I had to, otherwise I could not have stayed in the marriage.
There are loving things my WH does each and every day, but he also does negative things each and every day, but so do we all. If the good outweigh the bad, then it is easier to look at the positive and focus on that. But that doesnt mean the negatives should be ignored or avoided (I know from experience). When that happens the negatives begin to grow. So what I am trying to say is that it's a balancing act....like checks and balances.
I think the main thing of the exercise here is that making the list and making time to discuss the list keeps communication open, which is always a good thing in my book. And by making seperate lists it makes the communication a two way street and is positive reinforcement of the marriage. It also shows each other that we have value and what those values mean to others. And making that time for each other is also important. That alone shows value of one another, and again, positive reinforcement.
I say do whatever works for you.
~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha
