I am beginning to get over needing the details, etc. of WH's EA. I think I am coming to grips with what happened on that front and that pain is starting to diminish. He answers everything honestly and willingly, and has had a lot of patience with the questioning.

What is giving me panic attacks is my husband's uncertainty regarding the future of the marriage. He says he WANTS things to work out between us, and he is willing to work on it, but he is just so uncertain that we can fix the problems between us. I desparately want to hear that he BELIEVES we can work this out. I just keep feeling he isn't sure he WANTS us to work.

We are going to MC, and he is going willingly. He has agreed to requests like me asking him to call everyday, and to make one gesture a week (flowers, card, something). He says he loves me.

But I so very much want to feel a committment. I want something to be certain of when everything is so uncertain. I really feel like he believes we are going to fail, and it's killing me inside.

Sometimes it helps to know that if it doesn't work out you will still be all right. That can take the pressure off. What does failure mean to you? That you won't have financial stability, that you're a bad Mom, or a bad person? That no one in your family ever divorced and your the first and that's really bad? I'm just thinking about some things I went through when I asked for a divorce and there was a lot of stuff that confused my decision making process that I realized was second to taking care of me, honoring me and my commitments to myself, making sure I lived a fulfilled life, etc. etc.

I try to remember what success in life means to me in my life. Often it has to do with taking care of other people, but in that effort I sometimes don't take care of me which then effects others negatively.

Anyways, if you could really think about it and realize that you are still ok if you aren't together at the end of all of this AND you can share that with him. Then you might be able to approach things more objectively and with less fear. Sometimes it helps me to get the emotional stuff on the side and really focus on my personal life goals and my knowing that one of them is to spend more days happy than sad might mean not struggling every day in a challenging marriage. That doesn't mean you don't fight like heck to keep the marriage, you do that, put your best effort out there and then it works or it doesn't.

Sorry that's sort of a tough love approach and you might not be ready to hear it. Stick it in the trash can if it doesn't work for you. Know that your in my prayers and that I hate you have to even think about being in a position where your dreams may not come to pass. With that, I can relate fully.

Other's said it much better than I did. It's not exactly the same topic but I think the answers are relevant. Her question was "Is it worth fighting for..."

Good luck.