How many times can I live through this? I found out on Sun. about the most recent affair my H was having. He thought I would be so upset that I would pack up and leave. Told OW that he was going to ask me for a divorce over the weekend. He said nothing to me about any suck thing until I asked him sraight out. He reached out to several men at our church and made a counseling appt. before I even found out. That is something he has never done before. Before he kept his affair going as long as he could. He didn't make one effort on his own to end the third one until he thought I was going to leave. The only reason I am here is because I have proof he was seeking out help for himself and for us on his own. And I know that I haven't fully faced my own issues seperate from his affairs and I want to know that if this marriage ends that I gave it 100% The difficult part is that I have to do all that without enabling his behavior and loving myself enough to set up clear boundaries. Thank you all for being here. Sometimes I feel so lonely.
I am so sorry that your H is still cheating... the interesting thing is that he is trying to help himself...
Trying you are not responsible for any of his cheating... that is his decision, his weakness, addiction...but not your fault at all.
You may have problems in your relationship but you didn't give him permission to cheat.
My H had an addictive personality, he has changed his behavior in that regard concerning the ONS's and A's...there were many...my boundary is set and he is fully aware that if he crosses that line...the marriage is over...the kids are told...he didn't want them to know about his secret life...
I fully agree that giving the relationship 100% is important...first you have to heal yourself, your H has to heal himself and then the relationship can heal...
We are all here for you and you are not alone,
((((hugs)))
Pat
"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."
