Laura - i'll give you $10 bucks if you change your login to anything that doesn't have the word Grace in it. That's my WS OW's name. makes my heart fall every time I see it, especially with the word sweet in front of it. or amazing...as in the song "amazing grace".
I'm only offering $10 because I'm really just kidding - 3 months ago I would have given you $1000 to change it. Anyways, its good for me to read the word over and over and one day it'll just be the word grace again. Actually, last week I had a breakthrough and realized I'd read the title "Will and Grace" on a video box and 2 days later realized it hadn't phased me...well for for 2 days anyways!
working hard to laugh at triggers, I'm not very good at it yet.
I have a name trigger I'd like to also share with you. My WH's ow's name has become the most popular name around me. My entire life I have never known anyone by this name now after the A- my daughters best friend, my other daughter's friends mother, My very good friend and neighbor all have the same name as the ow. My daughter's BF was the first name trigger to enter my life very soon after the A. I started (actually I think I did) ask her not to be friends with her. So I understand. I would be happy to change my name knowing it hurts you to read it. You shouldn't have to have any trigger coming into this room.
The only thing is is that I suck at coming up with names. I am open for suggestions.
OK....I need to add to this one. My H's OW's name is the same name as my niece!! However, I never have said OW's name out loud at all. I just called her something else that I won't say here (you get the picture). Makes me wonder how that name wouldn't of reminded H that he was married to me. Wouldn't the name alone remind him of my niece, which would remind him of me? Wishful thinking.
My H's OW's actual name is a common noun that I see constantly...as a street name, a city name, a school district, in business names. I finally was able on our road trip to focus on the thought that the word/her name is common...not special or unique at all. Though the meaning can be "prettied up", it can also be defined as a "place of public access". Considering my H was not her first A, there was something fitting in that definition that I can focus on when I see her name.
H and I for the most part tend to call her "doo-doo head" when we speak of her. Childish, perhaps, but its nice that we've been able to both do that.
Forgandg - I think about you when I see the "g" word. When a new tv series came out starring Holly Hunter, (show name not included because of triggers) I remembered you. I am a fan of Hunter's work and tried giving the show a shot, but the pilot episode was way over the top.
I remember going through this same kind of thing when we were trying to get pregnant. Seemed like everyone around me was pregnant, the tv was full of diaper and baby food ads, etc. I suppose our internal focus will shift away from the yukky names when the focus of our lives isn't on the A's, but its another long haul. sigh... BlueIris
"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."
Love the idea of sharing the names we have for OW. We have a few:
"IT" - I can't refer to her by any female pronoun - she is such a disgrace to our gender.
Shlubby, Stubby - she is short and has no style in any sense
Drunko - a different OW, name self-explanatory
The Child and the Train Wreck - again, self-explanatory
(Blue - Doo Doo head - great one - even shared with my H, who laughed.)
I wasn't very creative...I never refer to OWr by name just the Bit* H ...her name is just too funny...the second half of a popular bookstore. MY feelings are a ***** person doesn't have A's...she changed her name legally to *****..
It does get easier...
Hugs.
Pat
"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."
H thinks "doo doo head" is a little too sophisticated for the OW, but it works for me.
Forgandforg - Susan's post used the word "disgrace" and all I can hear running through my head is you using your best Sylvester the Cat or Jimmy Cagney impersonation and calling her "dis grace" as opposed to "dat grace over dare".
"SG" As for a new name for you, how about "Wonderwoman"? Goodness knows all of us have to have some super hero qualities to deal with what we deal with. And I'm sure you've spent your fair share of time wondering what the heck your H was doing (I sure wonder about mine). Just a thought! BlueIris
"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."
This message has been edited by BlueIris22 on Aug 19, 2007 12:38 AM
I don't even think you did it on purpose Susan but I will forever thank you for finally giving me the perfect counter to the trigger of her name. Talk about fitting. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Laughing hysterically now and will drift of to sleep with a smile on my face!
Thank you all for reminding me I'm not alone.
Blue Iris - I just about died laughing when I saw the commercial for the Holly Hunter series. I like Holly Hunter too..."I'm not the one who's married!" Need I say more? Luckily we have Tivo so I don't have to see the commercials, but am bummed I won't see Holly's new work. Also, we've moved and husband suggested selling the second tv and not putting a tv in the bedroom. He always mutes, freezes, or turns off the tv when I get home and talks to me until we're done talking about our day or whenever I ask a question in the middle of a show.
We spend a lot more time reading and a lot less on tv since the affair. I highly recommend it to anyone else who realized the escape the tv provided for your WS from reality until the next dash into fantasy world. I can't say TV is a marriage killer because my first H didn't want a tv in the house so I lived without one for about 15 years, he simply replaced it with video games on the computer and me reading.
my favorite: DisgracedH -thanks again to Susan! I may use that one as my own. Or, sweetdisgrace. . ..he, he, he, ha, ha, ha...I'm having so much fun. I'm slightly bitter tonight, don't mind me.
I think I will change mine which is forgive and forget which I'm quite certain I will never forget so it has become meaningless. You can leave yours unless you are so inspired by my creativity! I like sweetangel the best. When I see sweet grace i think grace must be a young beautiful girl with curly locks, blue eyes, rosey cheeks, and a small but sweet smile...like an angel. But, if I have completely missed what is meaningful to you then you should just leave it as is.
grace (grs)
n.
1. Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.
2. A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.
3. A sense of fitness or propriety.
4.
a. A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill.
b. Mercy; clemency.
5. A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.
6. A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.
7. Graces Greek & Roman Mythology Three sister goddesses, known in Greek mythology as Aglaia, Euphrosyne, and Thalia, who dispense charm and beauty.
8.
a. Divine love and protection bestowed freely on people.
b. The state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God.
c. An excellence or power granted by God.
9. A short prayer of blessing or thanksgiving said before or after a meal.
10. Grace Used with His, Her, or Your as a title and form of address for a duke, duchess, or archbishop.
11. Music An appoggiatura, trill, or other musical ornanment in the music of 16th and 17th century England.
tr.v. graced, grac·ing, grac·es
1. To honor or favor: You grace our table with your presence.
2. To give beauty, elegance, or charm to.
3. Music To embellish with grace notes.
Idioms:
in the bad graces of
Out of favor with.
in the good graces of
In favor with.
with bad grace
In a grudging manner.
with good grace
In a willing manner.
Laura - I just tried to change my login but its like I'd have to start all over or something. I had such a hard time figuring it out the first time I'm just going to leave it. Oh well. Really I won't let it bother me. We have bigger things to worry us these days! You're the best for even thinking about it!
But reading it now I just thought I'd chime in with one of my own...
One of the OM name is quite a common name, but is a particular problem because I've had to stop saying the common polite curse "For xxxx's sake!". Just so wrong, so very very wrong!! I don't want anything for his sake! Now I just use "f*ck" instead and may consider using that instead of his name
Current Topic - Sweetgrace - $10 to change your login
BlueIris