H spent most of last night saying that even though he has some days that he doesn't want to be a husband and father that he can't walk away from me and wants to make memories with me. I said if that is true then he will back up his words with actions. Guess who I haven't heard from once today? No email, phone call, text, nothing.What are his actions saying. Piece of crap!!!!!! I can't handle this. What am I supposed to do now? Leave his ass? He did go to see his accountability partner, I think. What is the 180 about?-Brooke

Brooke,

His accountability partner should be you.

Ami

Brooke,

I should have said, He needs to be accountable to you, because you are the one he needs to earn the trust back from.

180 is about going on with your life as if he were not goint to be in it. It is doing for yourself. Hopefully someone will pull it up for you. The idea is that often once a WS feels they are loosing their spouse they realize exactly what they are loosing. Until that point, they just don't really consider it. It does work at times, not nearly as much as I would like. But there are no guarantees.

Ami

Thanks, Ami. He does need to be accountable to me. It just helps to have someone on the outside to ask him the right questions. He isn't as defensive when someone else askes then when I do. His accountability partner is someone I trust (as much as I can trust anyone right now) and I encourage him to talk with him. He will give him Godly advice instead of worldy advice so I know that he will be encouraged to remain faithful and work hard in the marriage. It feels like I have someone in my corner to back me up when he isn't listening to me.

That's great that your H has someone besides you to hold him accountable. I really wish my H had someone like that to keep him focused. H has talked to the Pastor, I'm just waiting for him to find someone to fill that role.

Brooke I don't remember reading about your "story" can you give me a little background.
I totally hate it when I don't here from my H all day. I take it personally, but normally it's because he has gotten busy and wasn't able to call, So H say's.