I went to run errands during work and got rear ended. For the record, this is the SECOND time in less than a month!!! I was always taught that yellow means stop if you can. The other driver thought it menat "go faster."

The worst part, besides having to go to a body shop yet again and deal with Quebec insurance again (ugh) is that I lost it. I yelled at the poor guy (he was very polite) about how nobody knows how to drive, that I can't afford this (Ontario accident means I pay deductable) because I am going through a divorce (which is what I had decided this morning to do - I was going to have us start the paperwork tonight. If I am lucky, it will call his bluff, if not, I get to go home) and life just sucks. It was a great topper to my day. I cried, yelled and threw my phone into my car (I was aware enough to know that damaging my only phone would be bad). THen I calmed down, apologized and we exchanged info.

BTW, no injuries and my bumper probably only needs a paint job (again). I just hadn't realized how small the thread I was holding onto was and this was the last straw for an empotional breakdown.

Now, I just have to decide if I am going to tell WS. Part of me wants to handle this on my own because I will have to in the future, but part of me wants a hug and someone to ask if I'm okay (which he will). Then again, it will make him angry if I don't tell him and he notices on his own - that does have its advantages (like I can show him that I don't need him, which I know but he doesn't seem to).

Ugh. I hate today.

Chinook

Sometimes all the pressure and pain pops out when we least want it to, or when we least expect it. Even though you didn't behave as you would have liked, you did at least have the opportunity to apologize. One thing I learned in these moments was the importance of finding a constructive outlet for my anger. In my case I was able to do that my explaining my anger with my wife, but you might find another outlet better given the specific situation you're in.

TomJ

I'm so sorry your having such a bad day, sad to say it's going around.

Mine didn't start by being physically rear ended. But WS did start my day off by saying what a horrible wife and mother I am.

I don't know what is worst. Being rear ended by a stranger or side swiped by your WH.

Tell your H what happened, but that you already took care of everything. Show him your strenghth and ability to handle your situation.

Try to have a better day. Thankfully you weren't hurt.
God Bless
laura

I ended up tellng WS about it when he asked me what I was looking up on the internet (neither one of us hides what we do on the computer. It has always been an unspoken rule. If he talks to OW, he goes out of sight (laptops are wonderful) but I know that is what he is doing). He gave me sympathy but no hug (he probably wasn't impressed that I kept dodging his questions - he had to ask 5 times before I told him. I answered him just to shut him up!).

We ended up going out for ice cream. I had a coupon, so when he thanked me, I said I paid for mine and he got the free one (i.e. I'm not being generous). Basically, we spent the evening as two friends, wandering the mall and talking about each others' day.
When I went to bed, he checked to see if I was okay and I jsut told him that my back wasn't bothering me (it is today - I hate muscle spasms.) The reality is, I hate being in a situation where I feel so lonely. I am trying my hardest with the 180 - especially not being needy, talking about the A and just getting on with my life, but, frankly, it sucks. I have no friends to call up and hang out with (my one friend has teenage girls and doesn't like driving in the city), so I am spending a lot of time reading or watching TV with WS (one TV in the place).

I am contemplating going out to Alberta for a long weekend. I normally wouldn't spend that type of money for a short trip, but the accident sent me over the edge - I nearly just took off to the airport at that moment, never to return. I guess I just want to be in a palce where people are happy to see me. So, I am toying with the idea, seeing if it will work. I probably won't have the $$, but the fantasy is defintiely making me happy.

Chinook

> I probably won't have the $$, but the fantasy is defintiely making me happy.
Making plans to do something, even tenative plans, is a good way to stay focused on the future. Hope for tomorrow is always available when we have really bad days. Hope and confidence in my hope is what kept me going through the really hard days of recovery. In doing the 180, it seems important that a person finds somewhere to pin their hopes that is independent of a spouse.

TomJ