Having a bad morning Just can’t get this stupid A out of my mind. So many times I have heard the phrase “my life got turned up side down” and I feel that. It’s like everything you believed in got shattered and you kind off just have to continue your life. Like somehow the solid ground that you believed in got removed and you are not quite sure what you are standing on now but somehow you keep moving forward. I know it’s been so long but sometimes I think about it and still sit in disbelieve. In disbelieve that this happened to me, in disbelieve that MY W did this, in disbelief that she was capable of this, in disbelieve that someone you think you know in side and out could betray you like that. Hopefully this is just a little down in the roller coaster and I will snap out of it soon. Just wanted to vent in order to possibly speed up this down time.

So sorry you are hurting so much today. It is VERY obnoxious how we can go to bed feeling OK and then wake up the next morning, blue and battered.

And don't you hate how when your life gets turned upside down, everything falls out of your pockets and rolls under dressers and the stove and the bed, and then you can't find things?
I hope you feel better soon. I say treat yourself to a cappucino. I know I always feel better when I do some little thing for myself.

ff

edited to make a winking happy face!

Hart, I totally understand how you feel, those "who is this person?" and "whose life is this?" kind of feelings. Everything takes on a surreal quality.

I am now a bit over 2 years and still get those feelings sometimes. Less and less and with varying degrees of power. It used to be that every time I had those feelings, I would fall into an abyss. And yes, that still can happen. But, more and more, whenI feel "I can't believe it all happened", I am also able to say that it did and that it was a horrible event in my past, not my present. Key to that shift was working with IC and H to understand the why's of it. It sounds like your wife has helped you with that too.

I do still struggle with the idea that my H was not who I thought he was - honorable, noble, with a high degree of integrity. And, if that is not the case, who am I in love with and why? Love is so hard to define but I do feel it, whatever it is but now with a more mature and realistic perspective. The fantasy is gone but reality is much more solid.

So, don't really have any magic that will help you other than to tell you I understand and that it does get better.