I know this isn't affair related and I havn't been here in awhile but I just needed to get this out today and I knew I could come here with anything.
My grandpa passed away a week before Thanksgiving. We knew he wasn't doing good. He had been in a home since May and fell and broke his hip 4 days before he died. My mom got the phone call that he was fading fast and went to see him. I didn't want to go because I wanted to remember him with life in him. But, something told me to go. We got there at 7:45 and he passed at 9. We were in the room with him when he took his last breath. That was the hardest thing I have ever done. We talked to him, told him we loved him and he was gone. His heart was still beating for a few minutes after and I went to him and told him I loved him and would miss him. I think he knew I was there. I hope he knew I was there. My husband told me when I was talking to him earlier-that even though he wasn't awake, his eyebrows would move when I said something to him. He had a military funeral and the flag was given to my grandma. They had been married 66 years. I felt so bad for her. As we were leaving she broke down and didn't want to leave him and started crying even harder and said it was the last time she would see him. He was very loved. They had 8 children, 21 grandchildren and 32 great grandchildren. All the children and grandchildren and some great grandchildren were there. We are going to miss him.
With all this...between my husbands mom passing in August and now my grandpa, it makes me see it is so important for us to move forward. To work everyday to make our life good. To love each other and not to hurt anymore.
just want to say how sorry I am that you lost your grandfather...I also want to tell you that your grandfather heard all of you...I just lost my mother and at the end she communicated only by raising her eyebrows or a small light squeeze with her hand...
(((hugs))))
Pat
"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."
First of all, I want to offer my deepest condolences for your recent loss of your beloved grandfather. It's very difficult to accept, and even more difficult when we are already greiving over a marriage that has been disrupted by an extra-marital affair. My heart is with you.
This is my first posting. I started reading the blogs on this site one year ago, two months after my WS first confessed to me. It's been one year and two months since he confessed. We were married 17 years at that time. During my so-called healing period, my mother passed away. Because I was taken from her by the state of California when I was seven (and here I am 56 years old), her death was compounded by a lifetime of losses, including my WH affair, which interrupted my ability to grieve my mother properly.
I tend to be an optimist by nature, or maybe just by necessity, but this year, optimism is not much of an option. Family members are judging me because I haven't bounced back, and life feels pretty alone, with the exception of my WS who is finally acting like a human being again, or more precisely, finally.
Your comment about being so tired of feeling sad really did hit home. I'm wondering when I'll feel like myself again. My H has been very attentive and communicative for two months now; it only took him a year to figure out the pain that he caused me and the damages he's caused to our marriage. I'm sure he felt pain too, but he was prepared for it. I had no warning prior to confession day. Add insult to injury, the OW is a nutcase. She stalked me during and afterwards, and somehow, I was exposed to a large dose arsenic during that time.
Since this is my first time blogging, I could go on and on, but I don't think it would be appropriate. I just wanted to say to you that additional grieving on top of grieving for your marriage is difficult, and my heart is with you.
