I just got back from my IC Session.....It was amazing!!! I feel like I can truly beat this feeling...I've learned that....the A is not my fault....and all the table turning tactics ....are just that tactics to make me feel like I'm to blame. TomJ and Ami are so right........H has to be the one to face these demons....until then, its useless for me to waste the energy.

So what I got from my session, was that H has deeper issues that he must face. Also, not to be the enabler....dont make him think its acceptable. Basically...do my on thing and if the fog clears in the mean time ok...if not...thats ok too..

Amy

Yea!!!! Amy...
I think you have found a good IC...
Now the hard part is to BELIEVE that the A is not about us... I think we all fall back into the mind frame that we must have been to blame..and We were NOT to blame..We didn't sit and tell our S to talk to OW or meet OW...that was H's decision... his choice..


(((hugs))))

Pat

"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."

Hurray for you!  Hold on to that feeling.  It will be hard, but I would suggest H getting definitive therapy for his inner demons be one of your boundries.  I did not insist after the first A and we are in the same place, just worse, right now.  Unless he faces and resolves his inner demons it is not a matter of if this happens again, it is a matter of when.

Stand Strong

Chris

Wow, Amy,
You got so much out of your first session. I was so lost that I just cried and cried for at least 6 sessions and could hear very little of what was said. So, congratulations on your ability to learn and listen and on having found an IC that can really help you. You have already heard the most important things - not your fault and take care of you. Now,you need to internalize and act on those thoughts. You should also be proud that you have taken swift action to help yourself through this. Good,no great for you!!! Keep us posted on your progress.

Sounds like a great session and a good IC you have there

~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha

Thank you all for the encouragment!!!! I felt like I wanted to stay all day!!!! I didn't want it to end.

I feel one of the best things I did going thru this whole mess, was getting in touch with all of you.

I hope you all know ,that you are my sanity..

Luv to All,
Amy