Some of you may have gathered that the OW has been stalking me and my family since H ended it with her and begged to stay with me.

I haven't worked much over the last month or so. Mostly because as a taxi driver (we run a taxi business together. H met OW when she got in his cab one night), I actually feel vulnerable. Not unusual as a female taxi driver anyway, but it isn't the general public that worry me-it's actually OW and her cronies. Since our son was stabbed by a member of her family, I have avoided driving pretty much.

But today I ventured out to collect a prescription for a very nice regular of ours. The customer was too ill to come out herself so she requested that I collect her prescription from the chemist and bring it to her home. But on coming out of the chemist, my heart sank..there was OW just pulling up in her car alongside my cab. I went to walk towards my car but she spotted the valentines card that I was holding in my hand and sneered, "oh so you think it's all romantic then? You are so stupid-he is still seeing me all the time."

I replied with a sigh, "No, he isn't" and got into my car but she followed me and said, "we met at the garage".

I said, "Yes, he told me you turned up there and that he told you to f*** off".

She said, "No he didn't. It's me he wants. That's why he is still meeting me all the time but you are too stupid to see it".

Me: "He wouldn't meet you again. He is repelled by you."

Then she stuck her arm through the open car window and slapped my face. It didn't hurt me because the angle she was coming from meant that she couldn't get good contact. I said to her, "ooh, now you've done it. You've really done it this time". Then I drove off.

When I radioed through to H, I was gratified at how angry he sounded...at her. He was genuinely concerned for my welfare and drove immediately home (which was where I was by then). As soon as he came in the door, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me, then said, "I hate the woman now for what she is doing to us. Why was I so stupid?"

I actually felt a rush of love for him in that moment because I knew he WAS suffering too, feeling guilt and horror for bringing this loathsome woman into all of our lives. But I was afraid of the reaction of my eldest son (18). On finding out, I seriously thought he would do something really stupid because he kept saying, "I said to you before that the minute she laid one finger on you, I would kill her". It took both H and I some time to calm him down and get him to see that my boy ending up in prison doesn't heal my heartache.

An hour later H took himself off to the train station taxi rank as per usual. Inbetween trains he got out of his car and was gossiping to a couple of other taxi drivers when he saw OW driving into the station. He turned his back and continued talking to the other men. She pulled her car up alongside them and kept saying, "Can we talk please. Just give me 5 minutes." He ignored her totally and carried on talking to the men but eventually the two other drivers began saying to him that there was someone wanting to talk to him. Uncomfortable in front of them he said, "I don't WANT to talk to you" and turned his back on her again to carry on his conversation with the men. She drove to the back of the station car park to turn her car around so H got into his car and drove away, to come back home.

While driving he radioed me to tell me what had happened and also told me that she was driving behind him. But as he approached our home, he passed a police car going the other way. OW quickly turned off.

When he came home, he said that he wondered whether he should tell me when she finds him like this because it clearly upsets me. But I've told him it would be worse if he didn't tell me. If I found out from some other source and he hadn't told me, I would have thought he was hiding something so I explained that it was CRUCIAL that he told me at all times. I think he is so worried about bringing my spirits down that he wonders whether telling me is a wise move. But I suspect that perhaps this may be a common problem for all of us?

Sorry for writing so much. My back aches badly today and I think it may be stress. You guys are a great stress-reliever...thank you, thank you, thank you.

Can u report this to the police? Also get a restraining order against her...that way if she comes near you or any member of your family she will go to jail. This is crazy!! Someone needs to stop this woman. If I were you I would get police involvement asap.

Did anyone witness this incident?

English Girl

I don't know your whole story but it sure seems like you should file a battery charge against her - she did assault you. Not to necessarily get her back but so the police have a record of the battery. She sounds a bit nutty and you never know what someone like that will do. If the police scare her a bit, she may stop what she's doing now while no one is hurt. If your husband gets mad about having to explain to the police why, then he's in the wrong. He should be fully accountable for putting his family at risk and he should want to keep you and your son safe. There are too many stories in the paper/internet/TV about people in these high charged situations who run over/attack/kill other people. This would have me seriously concerned for my family's safety.

Charlie

Hi, thanks for your replies.

The police have been involved for a while as OW has been stalking us since D-Day in August 2007. She has been formally charged with harrassment and criminal damage (for the damage she has done to our property). I do keep the police informed and put a letter through the station door just last saturday, outlining everything she has continued to do since her caution.

However the police (we sense) seem reluctant to do too much. OW was advised by her solicitor that if she was still seeing my H, there could not be any charges against her for harrassment. She uses this as her defence and so we think the police are putting it down as a 'domestic'. But I am confident that H is NOT seeing her anymore (see thread 'Bird with a broken wing').

Furthermore I have also learnt from internet research that stalking in the UK is a grey area within the law.

I WILL be informing the police of her slap but the only witness is her own 15 year old daughter, who incidentally was herself charged with harrassment of us and consequently cautioned, alongside her mother. So I see no prospects there.

The OW has a history of mental illness and has been sectioned twice. But the law of this fair land seems to balk at the 'stalker' crime and indeed struggles where the stalker has been in a relationship with their target. It's a no-win situation.

So the police are just going to let this psycho continue to harrass, YOU and your SON'S who are the victims even though your H was the one to make the mistake - doesn't make much sense does it? Can your H go to the police station with you and assure them that the A has been over for a while? I think he needs to do that.

Charlie

not only that but maybe have your solicitor get involved. threaten to sue the police for not doing anything,threatening her directly will only stir her up. everything i have heard about stalkers is to ignore them is best...but i can't believe you cant get a restraining order...maybe talk to a solicitor about that??

I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish there was more the police would/could do. But I am glad that your H is telling you of these encounters. You are right, it is CRUCIAL that he does. ((((((((hugs))))))))

~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha

Yes, you are quite right-all the advice on the internet about dealing with stalkers is to IGNORE them. And so the hope is that, like a bad smell, they will eventually go away. But I am only human ;>(

When OW starts putting her face into mine and gives me all of her c***, I get overcome with temptation. I am not a violent person (though God knows I have wanted to kill her), but she is unable to control her temper and routinely lashes out. She has police convictions for attacking other people in the past (nothing to do with us) annd Social Services monitor her because she has beaten her own children.

I find her so repellant because of her narcissistic behaviour....she really doesn't care about anyone other than herself. Even her own children are neglected while she trawls the streets monitoring our movements. So when she thrust her face close to mine yesterday, I saw red because it went through my mind, "What the h*** did H ever see in this repulsive woman"?

So I used my best weapon (my tongue) to lash out at her. She isn't at all smart and I find it satisfyingly easy to outwit her. This woman went out of her way to lure my weak, stupid husband into her web and when I verbally lash out, I am coming from the mindset that she SLEPT with my husband....and I hate her for it.

My thoughts are only natural I would imagine. But I should be strong enough to overcome my urge to get into communication with her. The website I found on stalkers advised that a stalker will prefer a negative reaction than NO reaction. However if they get no reaction, the stalker will up the ante. I tried not responding to her before but my son still ended up stabbed anyway so I don't know what the answer is.

As for hiring a solicitor-we just cannot afford one, sadly. As a knock-on effect from this affair, we have ended up in debt and are on the verge of bankruptcy. This is because everytime H goes to the taxi rank and OW turns up, he is forced to drive away thus losing us income. Also (as I would imagine every person on here will know), time taken to talk and repair meant we were not working as much as we would normally have. As self-employed people, no work means no pay. OW was actually ordered to pay us in excess of a thousand pounds for our loss of earnings but we haven't seen it yet.

We are clinging on to the roof over our heads by a thread but everything else has gone to pot. This A has been soooo damaging in so many ways. What destruction.