I have not posted here or visited for some time. I felt compelled to visit and post a progress report, since this site was so helpful to me when I needed it most.
About 2 1/2 years ago, my DDay hit. My WS revealed to me her affair with a man she had met online. She told me that she loved him and had been seeing him for at least 6 months. We had been through this before, but I was willing to go through the long and arduous process of counseling. When I discovered that the affair had not ended, and that she was plotting her divorce plans with him, I filed for divorce. The divorce took 9 months, and was final March, 2006. We had been married 23 years. And to put the icing on the cake, my father died right in the middle, a few months before the divorce was final.
Did I feel like I was losing my mind? YES! A lot of the time, it was a struggle to just function. Everything was bad, I looked forward to nothing, there was no joy or humor in anything. My mind raced through a million thoughts a minute. It was the lowest point in my life, and it felt like I would never recover, that I was stuck feeling the way I felt forever.
To all who come to this site hurting, despairing, sad and hopeless, let me shout out to you that THERE IS HOPE! You will not feel the way you do now indefinitely. The element that will change your sadness and rage is TIME! Like a physical wound, there will be some scars left, but the emotional scars will make you wiser and stronger.
I have learned a lot about myself and about life. It really helped me to read the posts on this site, to see that others were going through the same emotions and pain that I was.
I would just tell anyone here that if they feel like they are losing all hope, hold on tightly to the FACT that things WILL GET BETTER. Life's pleasures will return sweeter than ever. In fact, you will have a new appreciation for the things that temporarily have lost their appeal. The human mind and heart are truly miraculous, and you will work through the anxiety, pain and trauma, but you have to give it time.
Thanks to everyone on this board who helped me, and best of luck to all who come here seeking refuge and understanding. Don't forget that peace and normality will most certainly return. The answer is TIME!
