... I stayed after years of infideltiy and now abuse. I am at the end of the road. I am so depressed that I am becoming really stuck. Dont want to go out. I feel so bad. i gave so much love and so much of myself. Now there is nothing left and I am living with a liar and a cheat who calls me horrible names. I am so sad I wonder if there is any future for me in the world. Will I ever find contenment?

Blubelle- Are you new here? I am sorry you are in so much pain. I know it is difficult to see now, but you will get through this. God loves you and you are not alone!! Hang in there. (((HUGS))) -Brooke

I first posted here when it used to be arrow in the heart. The first crisis was in late 2000.

The last eight years have gone by and I stuck it out. I know it will never work, but I have been isolated from friends for a long time. The last couple of years I have been 'allowed' to make friends and that has helped. He used to be the crazy jealous guy, now he is just the crazy guy

It never stopped. The flirting and everything still goes on... he still looks for other OW's. We have agreed to separate and I just have to pick up the pieces but no longer have any rights to ask him whwere he is or what he is doing... not that I want to now anyway. For mylife he has been devastating

BluBell,

I have also stayed for years after d-day#1. I have done everything within my power to make it work. It has been 4 years and nothing has gotten better becuase it takes two people to make a marriage work. WH ahs not been in the marriage for a long time. We separted about 8 months ago. He found another OW in that time and has decided that is the life he wants to lead. I am filing for divorce.

The WS has to want to change or it doesnt work. Your WH has not changed. I know how much this hurts, especially when you have been abused. I was not physically abused but very emotionally abused. His feelings are all that matter...he is selfish...and that is who he is and nothing I can say or do will change him.

Everyone tells me it gets better in time. But when you are hurting time just seems to take forever. Healing is a slow process. I wish there was a magic pill or cure or something to ease the pain. I am sorry for all that you are going through. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))



~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha

Hi Bluebelle

I just want to say I am so sorry that you had to find us again, and that you are still hurting..

Please post on Open also.. Some of the arrow members still lurk occasionally and do post there.

There is a future for you out in the world, right now all you have to do is keep saying to your self I can go forward.. depression, loneliness are hard issues to deal with, have you seen a Dr. he may be able to give you medication for the depression.. the contentment will have to come from inside of your self, and that can definitely happen.. with time and energy that you will have once you leave your Abusive H.

Change is hard, being alone is scary.. there are a number of ladies here who are experiencing the breakup of their marriages so there is support for you.

sending you lots of ((((Hugs)))

Pat




"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."

BB,

I am so sorry for you continued pain. I know it hurts, but it seems to me that a seperation is a good idea. You have been in He!!, and although it is painful now, seperation is the road to having peace again, because it doesn't sound like your H wants to change.

I encourage you to seek out counseling. A Good IC can help you through this very difficult time.

((((HUGS)))

Ami