In July I was so down, I did not know were to go. DD was originally Sept, 2010. We went to MC and thought things were gong well. In Jan, 2011, I discovered H was still in contact. MC was not happy. H was remorseful and apologetic. See my entry "Worst Day of My Life" 7/2011. Things are still good...I am having problems with my trust of H. He read After the Affair-it was helpful. We are still seeing MC and he is very remorseful. Here is my issue...after 11/2010 when my adult children found out, they were P"?!$#%! It took a month for them to talk to him...it was sloop difficult. My oldest daughter, without my knowledge, wrote a letter to OW husband, daughter and son about the affair. She is the heart and soul of my children, has a PhD and is not one to mess with. OW was not happy. NO ONE knows about July
2011...NO ONE.
Things Rw good between us, sex is great, H is remorseful, loving and honest. I feel like I have been dishonest to our kids and family...is that my problem?
I'm glad that you and your WH are doing well. It's good that he is showing remorse about what happened, mine just lied and wanted things to just be normal again?
I'm sure your MC wasn't happy with him still seeing the OW, but it seems that is past now. It does take a while to ever get trust back and you still do it with an open eye forever.
In regards to what your adult children found out, I can totally understand their anger at their Dad. When your daughter wrote the letter to the OWH, didn't he already know? It is sad that it was written to the children, they didn't need to know and I would care less if the OW gets ticked. She should have thought of that a long time ago. It's probably good that they don't know about the other event.
We almost had a disaster at our house at Christmas time. I have an i-pad and check this site off and on. I forgot that it shows at the top the sites that you have been too when you are last on the computer. My 20 year old grandson asked to see the i-pad, he started to look at it, when my WH was sitting right next to him and saw the titles of "Having an Affair" right at the top. He asked for it real quick from our grandson, gave an excuse, clicked it off and gave it back to him. I know he didn't see it, as he and the rest of our 6 grandchildren would probably not speak to their grandfather for a long, long time. Their view on this are set in stone, just as mine are. They would be devastated to know this about their grandfather and probably wouldn't even believe it. I never want them to find out, as it would change our whole family. It was a very close call for both of us!
I wouldn't feel bad about feeling dishonest to your children. I don't know how they found out, but my teenage and adult children found out right away, as the OWH sent a letter to our home. My 15 yr. old daughter, recognized the handwriting, as a similar letter had been sent to me 2 years before this one and she remembered. He explained that letter so well and I believed him. He told me, "He had fired this person at work and her husband was trying to get even with him." I had no reason at the time to not believe him, as he was always home. Looking back, I now know some of the signs and would know what to look for.
So, don't beat yourself up, they probably would have found out eventually, since they are adults. I'm curious, "Why do you feel that you did something wrong?" Hang in there, it sounds like everything else is going better for you and that's great.
To answer...in 11/2010', H went on a business trip.. I called an, long story short, he admitted he was withOW. I freaked and threw phone, which broke. He got worried and called our oldest daughter and all broken loose. See Worst Day of My Life for update.. Am hanging in there!
