Stats: 36 yo, highest FSH 26, lap surgery Dec. 2001 to repair blocked tube, no male factor, no other health issues. Currently 32 weeks pregnant, due date March 3rd!
My whole journey into the infertility world started when my DH and I tried to get pregnant about 2.5 years ago. After about 6 months my OB/GYN put me on clomid just to "help things along". After 2 months of that and not pregnant she ordered all the standard bloodwork and the LSG test to check my tubes and my FSH came back at 26, the LSG came back showing a blocked tube. She thought it was a mistake so we did it again the next month on day 3 and it came back at 14. She said she was sorry but there was not much else she could do for me and referred me to an infertility specialist. I was in a bit of shock but still nieve and had no idea what high FSH was and what kind of hell I would be in for in the future.
I went to this new "expert" and they did the clomid challenge test which I failed FSH still at 14 and he basically told me the chances of me ever getting pregnant or having a viable pregnancy were highly unlikely and I should start looking for an egg donor. He said he didn't know of anyone with FSH as high as mine who's had a live birth. I had a blocked tube too and he wouldn't repair it because it wouldn't help me since my FSH was so high. That's when the devestation set in. I couldn't believe it and cried for days. Then I started researching and finding out any information I could on high FSH and that's when I found my lifesaver...these bulletin boards. I read Julia Indichova's book "Inconceivable" and read and downloaded any article or stat I could find on this and got a new infertility Dr. He was a little better that the first but basically agreed with the first one and told me to get an egg donor. He at least agreed to do the Laproscopic surgery to check my "blocked tube" and he would work with me but it was to put closure on trying with my own eggs. The surgery was Dec. 10, 2001 and it revealed that my tubes were fine but he said my ovaries were very small, confirming to him that my eggs were old and bad. So I talked him into doing at least a few medicated IUIs to at least see how I responded to the meds and see what happens.
So we were about ready to start a medicated IUI cycle in February of 2002 and my wonderful health insurance which covered the Gonal F in 2001, cancelled covering infertility drugs in 2002 so we would have to come up with around $2,000 to do this. Then I got layed off from my job. We decided to put everything on hold until we got more stable and actually had some money to devote to this horrible nightmare.
But after reading Julia's book and reading all the information I had gathered I had decided to get healthy. I was religiously drinking my wheatgrass mornings and evenings, taking my prenatal vitamins, cut out dairy (as much as I could--I love cheese!) I had a vegetarian diet but did eat some fish about 3 times a week. I also found a fantastic homeopathic chiropractor who also helped me mentally on my positive affirmations and I made my motto for last year "it's not what you think, it's what you BELIEVE". And I really made a concious effort to drive out those bad thoughts of "I'll never get pregnant", and replace them with dreams of holding my baby and happy thoughts. Lot's of visualization of dialing down my FSH and sending light and healing to my ovaries, eggs and uterus.
So there I was still, layed off from my job wondering what to do next, not really trying to get pregnant but still eating right and BDing around the right time but not obsessing about it. And then my period was late. Ever since putting all of these terrible drugs in my body my cycle has been really messed up so I said, oh well, I'm late, I'm sure I will start tomorrow. Well, 5 days of this went by and I couldn't stand it any more. I went out and bought a pregnancy test and took it the next morning. It was positive!!!! I told my DH and we both started crying but with all the things the Dr.s told us we really didn't believe it. I went to my OB the next day and the beta confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. It was in fact very high so I went in for my first ultrasound and saw the fetal pole and sack and yolk sack. Still being very cautious. I don't even think my DH and I dared to talk about a BABY at all or the future. Then we went in at about 6 weeks for another u/s and saw that beautiful heartbeat...I cried, of course!!!
So, here I am now--almost 32 weeks, anxiously awaiting the birth of my little boy or girl and still cannot believe that I am pregnant and that this is actually going to happen. My dream has come true somehow, someway by not believing in all the negatives, by taking control of my fertility and probably mostly by the grace of god I have made it this far and hope and pray that all goes well and in just a few short months I will be holding my little baby that I have dreamed of all my life in my arms at last.
Love,
Kim
Posted on Jan 2, 2003, 6:10 AM from IP address 209.86.199.68