Anybody remember the Blues Brothers? I have a "Blues Brothers" pair of cheap dark sunglasses somewhere.

They can make a bright, sunny day look like a thunderstorm is coming. They make an already-dreary day look almost like night. But they protect my eyes from bright sunlight.

I am tempted to view everything and everyone through the "dark sunglasses" of my recent marital experiences. It's inevitably going to happen, and sometimes I think it's justifiable because those dark glasses feel protective, but I also think it's not a good thing to get stuck in.

There are good, kind, gentle, and honest people in the world, but all of them are human and have some failings too. It's important to me not to get stuck in the bad.

Chris.

Ah, Chris go check out my response on the "Seeing couples and family" thread.  It says something very similar to what you wrote here.

Your right, we can't let our past relationship affect any future ones. 

 

Maybe we need to get you some new sunglasses. Rose colored perhaps? Naw, definately not.

WR? Work your magic!

Bart? Some responses please!!

With the glass so dark they wont even know your name

Ahhh, you already got yourself some cheap sunglasses.

But...do you wear your sunglasses at night?

I know what you mean Chris.  Be aware that it's just where you're at right now.

But if you must, do it in style. You might want to consider getting stuck in a pair of these.

All Italian

 light blue mirrored?

 army green?

 male mauve?

 mystic?

 pink-eye pink-guy?

 businessman brown?

 day tripper?

 George of the Jungle?

 Midnight maddness?

Pick one out for me

Xray vision!

You know those ones they sell in the back of comic books that are supposed to allow you to see through another person's clothing?

But seriously...

Some days I get so worked up and angry about all the stupid things my husband has done or still does and even hearing him chew his cereal drives me up the wall.

I feel myself get into an emotional frenzy -- indignation beating in my chest, rage across my face, tears welling etc etc.

And then on other days I get nostalgic and sentimental about all the good things about him and the great times we had.

I get all soft and fuzzy and vulnerable. But honestly these times scare me more than the darker times because they leave me open to being hurt again -- hence your "dark glasses are safer" comment.

When I get this way I "snap out of it" by looking at it this way. There were good things and bad things about our relationship. It wasn't always smooth but we had great times and had two wonderful kids and alot of fun. And those times far outweigh the painful times.

And yet...he chose to end the marriage. For whatever reason he saw our marriage differently and was ready to throw it away -- firstly with the affair and finally by not doing anything to repair our relationship after d-day.

It pisses me off and yet there's nothing I can do about it. I've done all I can do and there's nothing left. When the ball was lobbied into his side of the court -- he didn't go for it. If I try to jump the net to get the ball back and lobby it again, all that's going to happen is he's going to ignore it again or walk off the court altogether.

So I'm not going to allow myself to get worked up either way anymore.

I was thinkin' of that song, but I figured more people would know Blues Bros. than ZZ Top.

Ackroyd and Belushi probably stole the whole black suit/ cheap sunglasses thing from them anyway.

Chris.

ps. WR, it's not terribly fashionable, but I generally have matching clips made for whatever glasses I have at the time. The current pair is a sort of amber-green-brownish lens. The previous ones were very amber, and they made the blue sky seem incredibly blue, and the autumn leaves much brighter on sunny days.

I used to have my old prescription tinted when I bought new ones, and the first time I did that was with those frameless aviator styles from the early 80's that covered half my face. They were gradient shaded (rose) to start with, so they ended up really dark rose-colored sunglasses.

Did Elton's life become unusual, causing him to view it through lenses such as these? Or was his life nice and normal........until he put these on?

 

WR
ROFLMAO! Thank you for the laugh, I sooo needed that today!
Sue

My perspective seems forever changed and I often really miss being able to view life the way I used to.

But that seems impossible like something dead now.

So I'm trying to figure out how to be this way (not so naive and unsuspecting, not so polite and nice etc), and also work toward directing this change with some intent. I think that the way I'll interface with the world from now on will create some pretty interesting situations and opportunities.

It's easier to see deeper into human nature than it was before--my own included.  I can see through falseness in ways I couldn't prior to this experience. I'm not nearly as afraid to face it down as I was. Likewise, I can pretty much tell when truth and clarity are present. My appreciation for this has grown.

So one of my sunglass lenses is an impenetrable mirror, and the other lens fell out.

So...

It's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" for you?

Or maybe "I'm Still Standing"?

Certainly not "Candle In The Wind".

"Circle of Life" anyone:

I just got through a long run of "Take Me to the Pilot (of Your Soul)", then moved onto "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting".

Now I'm working on "Burn Down the Mission" while sticking with "Friends" and trying to avoid the "Madman Across the Water".



Chris.