The major trauma of the infidelities, the separation and the subsequent divorce is over.

I need to lose weight. About 50 pounds. I lost 16 over a year ago, but but I gained most of that back (during the divorce process). I think that if I even lost 20 that I wouldn't have so many fibromyalgia flares. It is so hard to drop all the pressing issues (work, laundry, bills, shopping, helping w/ homework, fixing my toilet...which I need to do next...) and sometimes literally limp to the YMCA in order to swim or treadmill or whatever... But I almost always feel better if I make myself do it. Almost...there are times when I'll get a fibro backlash for about a week and can hardly walk if I force myself, too.

I have been reading and journaling and I've realized I'm afraid of being attractively thin again....don't know how I'd handle myself or any attention I'd get. It's so much easier just to enjoy that ice cream!

So here's another plea for encouragement.... here's my next major issue to tackle. (BTW, I'm looking for some good support sites for losing weight. Can anyone recommend any?)

Jean

Jean, I'm writing this to encourage myself as much as you.

One thing I learned is that I am an emotional eater. I eat to comfort myself. I eat when I am stressed out and depressed. In the past three weeks I've regained 3 pounds. Sounds like nothing right? Except that I don't allow myself to do this. So I am back on track right away on Monday.

Okay Jean, I don't go to a YMCA or Weight Watchers or anything like that. I have a good calorie counter I bought at the book store and a note book. And this is what I did...

First, don't make no time to exercise an excuse. Eating right is half the battle so start there. Cutting down your portions and eliminating the junk in your diet doesn't require any special time commitment. You are eating anyway so just eat less and prepare your food more wisely. That takes nothing and even just doing that -- just drinking alot of water and eating more sensibly -- should help you lose weight.

The exercise will help you go beyond whatever the food reduction might do for you. What I did because I couldn't afford the time either was worked out at home. I have a treadmill and a TV in the basement and I work out there. I get up half an hour earlier.

I have found actually that exercising has been the easier thing for me to keep up once I started. It has been a stress realease and it helps me feel strong physically as well. I actually do this far more faithfully than watch my food.

My food is still an issue from time to time. I have my "deep dark blue" periods like lately when food is used as a way to ease my pain -- especially sweets. And today I caught myself and said "enough".

Determination is the key. It has to be something you really, really want because it is HARD.

PS. A good support site is diettalk.com.

Jean

Some of the things that I've always done to keep weight off are:

When or if I go out to eat, I eat different salads or lots of chicken versus other meats.

If it is fast food I do either Subway or I get chicken sandwiches (grilled not fried) and if I'm dying for fries, I get my kids some and just have a couple of their's instead of buying a whole one myself.  I don't completely deprive myself of things I want and I think that helps.  I do try to stay away from deserts but if I do get one, I nearly always split it with someone.

Drink diet drinks or iced tea w/artificial sweeteners.

I almost never eat within 3 hours of going to bed.

I exercise several times a week and notice that not only does it keep me happier and more positive but also motivates me to eat better too.  The exercise also gets me to drink more water as well. 

Now if I could just get rid of my chocolate addiction, I'd be great.

 

 

 

Honesty with yourself is the first step. Not beating yourself up or feeling guilty, but honesty.

The only time I gained a bunch of weight (12-15 pounds more than I weigh now) was when I was going out to drink beer and eat junk 3 or 4 nights a week.

I was 22 and thought that's what people did for fun when young and single.

One day (this was back in the 3-piece-suit, dress-for-success days) I couldn't button my vest. Then I couldn't button the suit coat.

Time for a reality check.

The ONLY way to gain weight is to eat more than you burn. The ONLY way to lose weight is to eat less than you burn. And the only way to "eat less than you burn" is to be completely honest with yourself in your accounting of what you eat. In my case, I was drinking about 500 calories a night (3x160), plus munching on bar munchies.

It's easy to munch. But the crackers while cooking dinner, they count. The 3 bites of the kids' potatoes they didn't want, they count. Ice cream counts.

As Jane pointed out, portion and time control is essential. I control my portions at dinner very carefully...3-5 ounces of meat, and proper portions of starches and vegetables. And when I overdo it from time to time, I cut out dessert for a while. Like Jane, I try to avoid eating in the evening other than low-cal healthy stuff like fruit or popcorn without butter.

And I have weighed the same since I cut my drinking way back all those years ago. When I was running a couple of years back, I increased my calories at breakfast and lunch and had a mid-afternoon snack.

But I stress again: I didn't do it with exercise. I did it with food discipline and developing good eating habits.

Chris.

I think different bodies react to different diets...but for me the key is exercise! I was studying for a large exam since Jan (passed last week), so I didn't have time to work out (plus it's fricken cold in the Midwest) ..I put on 5 lbs and I know it was just from not working out !

If you do want to try a food system, I lost 15 lbs in 1998 on Weight Watchers, and have only put 4-5 back on from time to time....for me it was the balance of being able to eat normal foods that I could maintain AFTER I went off the diet....also before that I would just focus on one thing like fat ....WW takes into account various things like fiber, carbs, calories, fat....

But again, i think different diets work for different people ..but I think everyone agrees that cutting back on meats, and carbs is always beneficial...and after 15 yrs old - I think exercise is required

P.S. if you don't have one - get a dog ...I just read an article that people lose/keep off 5-10 lbs after they get a dog....plus they're a great sense of humor ...better than the ex (replaced ex with the dog)....like I always said - I know he'll hump other dogs - but he won't lie about it...

Good luck !

Cherish

Thanks posters. I do know how to lose weight. I lost 16-18 lbs. 1-1/2 years ago. Started looking much better. Realized that my motivation was to look good for estranged husband. He never said a think, and just muttered a "that's nice" when I finally brought it up.

Sooooooo. At that time we were just starting the divorce process.

Thennnnnnn. During the subsequent months I lost my focus, and indulged in too much eating for comfort.

Ugh. I know I have to do this for me. To get my focus and resolve back. I know God didn't mean for thighs to rub together. (Sorry for the visual, guys...)

Jean