Too much time on my hands today and was listening to the local news. In California, Scott Peterson is currently on trial for killing his wife, Laci, and unborn son, Connor. I have followed this case closely for two reasons:
I was due with my son at the same time as Laci, and;
My STBX was a serial cheater like Scott (this has come out in news reports and court testimony).
What has me hot and bothered is the quote on this morning's news by an "expert":
>>Adultery does not equal murder. Just because Scott was adulterous doesn't mean he is a murdered. *Adultery is not a motive for murder.*"
The last statement bothered me quite a lot. I remember looking at my then-husband on December 26, 2002, two days after Laci disappeared and saying "her husband did it".
Has anyone else followed the case and have an opinion?
I'm near Yosemite right now, and like you have too much time on my hands. I'd rather have garden dirt on them.
Yes, there is certainly more press here in Ca. regarding this case. You'ld think that the possibility of murder would cut down on the rate of affairs. SCARY!
I was pleased to hear the testimony from the gal who was a friend of the woman he had an A with.
Up to the last sentence of that quote, I was with the expert...
But I have to disagree on that last part. Adultery CAN be a motive for murder. Doesn't mean it HAS to be, but it CAN be. Big difference when you think about it.
Just because someone has an affair does not mean that they can or will commit murder. Think of all the wonderful FB's on the Open Board. Do you honestly see GT, JRobin or Helen being a murderer? I don't.
As for whether or not Scott did it. In my opinion, if he didn't do it, he certainly knows who did, and how much he paid them.
If one is to believe the rate of adultery that occurs (and reading these boards how could one doubt it), then if every affair resulted in a murder attempt alot of people would be getting murdered every year.
There's no doubt that affairs do provoke violence. Betrayal is a powerful motivation. I know that I have never felt hatred as deeply as I have felt it when I was betrayed. I don't mean dislike or disappointment -- I mean hatred. There were alot of times when I hurled things at my H in rage. And I could see how easily someone could get pushed over the edge.
But feeling like you could kill someone and actually doing it are two different things. I don't know if Scott Peterson is guilty or not but I think his lawyer is correct in saying that his having an affair is not enough evidence to say he murdered his wife. It says something about his character I guess but every adulterer is not a murderer.
Adultery and murder probably happen all across the country with monotonous regularity. This week, a woman in Whitesboro, TX is being tried for murder. The prosecution says that she had an affair and shot the deceased because she was mad that he kept talking about it. The accused says she shot him in self defense. It's fascinating reading with all kinds of intrigue. S!TBX has knew the accused. Whitesboro isn't very big. Most people drive pickup trucks and you won't find one that doesn't have a handgun under the driver's seat. The accused and the witnesses and their parents and friends and cousins and neighbors all have their own perspective on the murder of course. Some of them knew about the affair and others didn't. There's alcoholism involved. But in the end, it's all very sordid and sad and has wrecked the lives of at least three families. I don't read those kinds of news stories the way that I used to. For one thing, I automatically assume that if someone is dead and if the accused had been having an affair, then the accused is lying and guilty as sin. I just expect the defense lawyers to argue that just because someone had an affair doesn't mean that they are murderers.
In 1980 I was eyewitness to an adultery induced murder. The betrayed husband killed the man who had an affair with his wife--seven years prior. The next day he shot his wife and himself in front of their son who was only 11 years old.
Three dead. One orphaned. Community disaster.
The murderer was an affluent surgeon.
Adultery also seems to encourage suicide, another form of murder.
>>For one thing, I automatically assume that if someone is dead and if the accused had been having an affair, then the accused is lying and guilty as sin. I just expect the defense lawyers to argue that just because someone had an affair doesn't mean that they are murderers.<<
My point, exactly. For the last two years that this murder case has been churning through the news media, I have consistently thought, "But for the grace of God, there go I," (ooo, incredibly bad English). In my bleakest moments, I speculate that poor Laci got off easy. She didn't have to live through the pain, self-doubt, roller coaster ride of emotion that we are all grappling with. I hate to admit that I have had several moments of thinking it would just be easier to end the pain PERMANENTLY, if you get my drift.
That seems to be the one thing all adulterers have in common - the lying. My STBX is a pathological liar. A veritable chameleon when one tries to pin him down on something. Handsome and charming on the surface. Positively creepy and slimey underneath. Gee, kinda how Scott Peterson is coming off as the testimony unfolds. Small things like marriage vows or swearing on the Bible in court mean nothing to them. They are not in fear of the stain on their eternal soul. Lying has become their "truth".
In fact, many of them, my STBX included, seem smug about their actions. Almost as if they are daring the world to prove them wrong. And I think that is what bothers me most about this trial. Peterson is one smug SOB and his lawyer is as reptilian as I've witnessed. Do you think there is an eight circle of Hell for these types?
>>Do you think there is an eight circle of Hell for these types?<<
I happen to believe that. I also believe that there are people who are very good at lying and I believe that the reason that they are so convincing is that they are able to convince themselves of the lie, at least on some level. Most people can't do that - when they lie, they know that it's a lie. For some people though, living in a fantasy is a way of life. Sometimes it seems to be a result of growing up in alcoholic or abusive home. Bill Clinton touches on something like this in his new book. "People of the Lie" are difficult to spot and they are often quite charming if you meet them casually. Most people don't believe that they exist unless they have had personal experience with one. Most people think "everyone tells lies sometimes and these people are not really so different". I believe that can be a generous way to look at people but it's also very dangerous. Some people are different (really different) in that respect and if you don't really understand that, you can be very vulnerable..
I rented the movie that was made from this story. It was spell binding and awesome.
I don't think that all murders cheat and I don't think all cheaters murder.
However that being said I could easily see how the BS or the WS could be pushed into something so horrific when the affair is revealed. It is a devastating time for both parties and I remember being so upset I had no clue what i was doing. I would like to say that murder hasn't crossed my mind.....but i can't!
Oh...i doubt i could really ever do it, but it scares the hell out of me that another human being can make my life such a living hell that I would want too
