I'm new here. I read these posts and sigh. I'm so glad to find others who know the kind of pain I'm feeling now.
Just over 2 years ago, my husband met an old girlfriend in one of those sites that unite old school friends.
At about the same time, my father was dying and I flew back to England to be with him and my family.
What I didn't know was that he was e-mailing her and making long distance calls to the UK.
What did puzzle me at the time though, is that he was hiding/throwing away the phone bills as soon as he could. He never did that before...
During the summer, he went over to visit his family in the UK (I stayed here looking after the house, family and pets)
He called me one evening and told me that he had had such a surprise and had met up with his ex.
He proceeded to spend 3 days with her, even though she too is married. They went out in the car, long walks, meals at restaurants and God only knows what else.
I'm quite sure he would not have told me about her at all, only when I called his parents house earlier, his mother answered and told me he was at his sister's house. I called his sister and of course he wasn't.
When he came home I was so upset I hardly wanted to pick him up at the airport.
He denied and denied and denied. Said there was nothing. but if there was nothing, why did my heart hurt so much?
I had never snooped into his e-mail, but after this, he locked it up.
2 weeks ago, I was installing some software for him on his computer. Curiosity got the better of me when I realized that his mailbox was open. I looked in "sent" and found a very, very sentimental email to her. About how he thought about her so much and how all the memories keep coming back... He hasn't talked that way to me for years... It just made me feel nausious. I don't think I've eaten a proper meal since then.
He signed off with "love" and a long row of kisses.
I told him the next day what I had seen and he denied again, In fact, he was as mad as hell that I had looked at his e-mail. I have no regrets though.
What do I do? I don't know what I'm dealing with. He won't talk to me. He's like an iceberg. Also, he's meticulous about locking up his computer and really making it obvious that he wants me to see him do it. I wish he'd look in mine. There's nothing to find...and I think if there's nothing to hide you would have no reason to do that. This just hurts so much.
We have been married for 27 years and have been together since we were young teenagers
I really need some advice.
I'm so glad to have found you.
I'm editing this because I just realized I posted to the wrong board. Sorry folks