Hi All!

I don't write much anymore, and for all of you I will give you the short version of my story.

My H had an A with a co-worker. it lasted about 1 year (off and on). Went to MC twice (the first time the A never ended). The second time I know he finally "GOT IT". They both still work at the same place, but they don't see each other.

We are still together and very happy. We have 2 sons and our lives are in a better place. He is very remorseful. We learned to communicate better, take time for our relationship and take some personal time.

Not to say I don't have bad days at all, but as time goes on they are fewer and farther between. She is no longer a part of our lives. I will not let her take anymore from me than she already has.

My H and I were marred 13 years in Sept. and we will be together 20 years on Dec 15. DDay was Dec 8, 2001.

I just wanted all of you to know that it can work, but both parties need to be willing to do alot of hard work.

Recovery was and is difficult. It takes time, energy, patience, and love. Sometimes I ran out of some of those things, other time I didn't have any of them, but he stood by me and helped me through the rough times.

We, BS and WS, are not perfect. We all make mistakes, it's what we do with that mistake that can make us a better person.

Just wanted to let everyone know it can work.

Thanks for your time

Tammy


Tammy10

Hi Tammy,

It's funny. While reading your post, I suddenly realized, "Hey, it's 6 years today since D-Day!"

I honestly had not thought about it all...

Gotta love time. It does heal wounds, although I have to admit that the scars will always be there...

I can live with scars. They're the roadmap of a life well lived and well learned.

Cory

Sight and Vision are two different things.

Cory,

<<I can live with scars. They're the roadmap of a life well lived and well learned.>>

What an amazing statement...I don't know exactly why, but it has struck a chord in me...thank you !

Kara

Cory,

You never seize to amaze me with your statements.

Like you, just realized it has been 5 years since dday. I can't remember when I stopped counting. It was life time ago.

Gina

Tammy,

This is a great post. These type of messages that somehow it WAS possible to get past this were what helped me get by those first couple very confusing years.

I've got 2001 burned into my brain, but I can no long tell the exact number of months or the dates of every significant event. It was a relief to be able to shed that baggage.

Thanks again for posting something positive. It's great to hear from you again.

-Susan

I would have never believed in a million I would be telling anyone after 3+ years I don't really recall any dates anymore...I have to think about it and even then it just doesn't have the same effect on me.
I still hurt...I think that will last forever. I've also come to realize that it was never about me and if it should happen again, it just won't be as bad.
I've also learned this is not the worse thing that could happen...I've since lost a dear friend and had another close friend loose her son. I'm so lucky...if this is the worse thing I will have to deal with I'm lucky..very lucky!!

I've also learned that life is too short not to love yourself!!

In many ways I'm a much better person, stronger, wiser, not as quick to judge others and amazed how wonderful my family really is...nothing could ever mean as much.

Are you in love again or is it just working? We do not mention the affair anymore (or rather I don't)...it was getting us nowhere and I guess in truth not beating him up about it is helping me get passed the intensity of the pain...i guess i have decided the pain is not going to ruin me....I never got the answer that made it understandable or less painful and I never will. I read somewhere that your mind finally just accepts what it doesn't understand. I know it can work but do you ever get that yummy feeling of being someone's exclusive love with your spouse again? That is the hardest thing for me to deal with. I guess I wasn't as wonderful as I thought I was!!!
Sometimes when we are doing everyday things and the thoughts are entering my brain....i pretend I am talking to George Clooney..it helps!!!!