I don't want to be the pizza lady anymore. I know, that sounds really stupid hunh? But I really hate that place...ok hate is a strong word. I resent the heck out of it. Is that better? LOL. I have so many unpleasant memories associated with the pizzeria, d-day just being one of many. I have no desire to go there anymore. I cant stand to even look at the place.
I am just so sick of my H telling people "when I started the pizzeria...". Hmmm I remember being there too. Maybe I am not there every open minute like him, but I have done more than my share. And it's funny how I am standing right there when he says this to people, and you would think he would say "when we started the pizzeria..." That shows you where his head is at. I even tell him "yes, that's how it was when WE opened the pizzeria...". Everything is all about him! It's HIS pizzeria, and they're HIS customers. Well it was HIS affair, and HIS addictions too!!! So maybe it is all about HIM. LOL. I dont want to be a part of HIM anymore or HIS pizzeria.
This Jan. 15 was our 14th year in business. Another day that just triggers the heck out of me. I remember on the pizzeria's 10 year anniversary he didnt come home until 2am and he was such a jerk that night. I know he was with her, the OW. He came home all drunk and stoned. I even gave him a hand-painted pizza peel that I painted with our logo and the dates on it, and on the back I wrote about how proud I was of him and how much I love him, and how much I appreciate all of his hard. I hope he got a good laugh out of it! And last year I bought a cake and champagne to celebrate with the employees and H seemed to appreciate it. But this year I didnt do a darn thing! He seemed a little upset about it and was hinting like maybe I forgot. I didnt forget! I just dont want to celebrate a place that has brought me nothing but misery.
I have always told him that the pizzeria was his true mistress. I really didnt know how right I actually was.
Carol~
This message has been edited by pizzalady on Mar 7, 2007 2:51 PM This message has been edited by pizzalady on Jan 23, 2006 10:58 PM
I'm curious though. Have you ever actually told him how you feel? Told him that you resent when he says "I" instead of "we"?
Sounds like you actually started this business with him. My H owns a business that he started a few years before we married and it wasn't making money yet. After I married him I then put more hours into it than him for the next ten years and now it's making money (not because of me). After D-day, when I was contemplating D, my lawyer informed me that I was half owner. That had never even occurred to me, or him.
We had some raging battles over this business because of how he treated his main employee way better than me. ie: stopped talking when I came into the room, discussed business things with her and kept quiet around me, treated me basically like it was none of my business while he and his little employee dumped all the peon work on me.
To cut a long story short, the business is now OURS and that has been made perfectly clear to the smug employee. In fact, he last told her that if we get divorced, that I would become her boss.
The point I'm trying to make - make it clear to him that you NEVER want to hear YOUR business referred to as HIS again. And the same with when HE(we) started it.
Maybe he doesn't REALLY know how you feel about it and if he does, I'd be more than happy to come over there and bean him a good one with a pizza pan!
Thanks for the reply. Yes, my H knows EXACTLY how I feel about the WE and HIM of the pizzeria. I have told him more than a hundred times at how it bothers me when he starts telling his little story about how HE started the pizzeria. But all he does is roll his eyes at me and just keeps going on with his story. In other words, I am dismissed, and my feeelings are not important. He takes every opportunity to tell me that it is HE is in charge at the pizzeria and I have no say, even when I make it pefectly clear that I am not happy about something. For example, I put a sign up for the holidays and I decided that we should close the day after Christmas. My H told me "we are not closing the day after Christmas. My customers need me." I said "your children need you too". Anyway, it ended up with him saying that HE's in charge at the pizzeria, not me.
He is a workaholic and works 7 days a week, 15 hours a day. He only takes off major holidays and refuses to close for vacations. So basically the pizzeria rules our life...or I should say HIS life more than mine. But we did start it together. At first I was in school to become a medical assistant. So I was going to night school and working the rest of teh time at the pizzeria, and taking care of our 18 month old. He asked me to quit school but I refused because I was almost done and I was graduating Suma Cum Laude. He only showed up for about 20 minutes of my graduation. Anyway, I got a job in Dr.s office and was still working at the pizzeria. He asked me to quit because the pizzeria was starting to pick up so I did. I worked there almost every day after that for the next 8 years, and through 2 more pregnancies. When our last child was born 6 years ago he got into an accident. I had to stop everything and work like he was, 7 days a week, 12-15 hours a day, and take the kids back & forth from school and to his mother to watch them so I could work. And as soon as he was better he started acting this way. It was all about HIM from then on and that has been about the last 5 years or so. But I didnt do my share I guess...right?
Ok, I'm ready to come over there and bean him one, or two or three. That's horrible. He wouldn't be so smug if you divorced him and litterally TOOK your half away. (not that I'm suggesting that, just a case in point)
You sound like one heck of a woman Carol. He obviously doesn't know what he has.
