I am so angry at my H right now, he can act like such a jerk. One minute he is compassionate making me feel hopeful and the next he is an idiot.

He feels like such the victim, that he is the one that has suffered in our marriage, saying that when we had children, he felt that he was not at the top of my priority list. I did admit, he wasn't, but how simple is raising a family, working full-time and going back to school. I have been working hard to make him not feel that way, but he thinks that it maybe too late. He's just here for our family and doesn't want to work on us right now. "Maybe down the road if I can be on the same page as him and meet all his needs (which I should have been doing all these years), then maybe we have a chance. However, there are no guarantees, because I don't know the future."

He is such a selfish, self-centered man, and admits to being high maintanence.

He justifies his EA with OW saying that because I wasn't there for him he looked else where and his friendship with her just continued to grow. She is interesting and its exciting, blah, blah, blah,

He still goes out with OW, insisting that they are just friends, they went to dinner the other night after a class. This morning his cell phone rings at 6:15 in the morning, its her, just texting him, probably that she's on her way to work. I say her number and was so tempted to read the text, but didn't. He has a way of turning things around, he said that I was not trustworthy for snooping on his phone one day, didn't matter that he was sending love messages to OW.

He admits that he makes it difficult for me at times, he sees me trying so hard to make things work, he says he's just not there, duh. I guess I'm late to the party again, some days, my desire just outweighs my commonsense. I asked him why does he make it difficult, he stated that he is still upset, angry, hurt, for the way I made him feel for all those years. Did I do any of them intentionally with malice or spite, no. But what he is doing or not doing, flaunting his relationship with her, he is so evil. He keeps insisting that our problems were before OW came into the picture, but I tell him that it just complicates things.

I appreciated Cal's earlier post that anger can be healthy, this is probably one of the few times I've felt this angry at him and this whole situation.

I'm just needing to vent, happy that this is a safe place to do it. My next appointment with IC is in 2 weeks, wish it was today! Things change on a daily basis...

It difficult to decide what to do, how can someone say they love you and treat you so horrible.

Today, I'm not going out of my way to do anything for him, no phone calls...

thanks for letting me release some steam, hope you all have a peaceful day!!!

Im sorry you are hurting. It is good to let the anger out. (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

My WH also said that when our last child was born I didnt pay eneough attention to him after that. Babies need a lot of attention...it's just a fact! And if the felt they were wronged somehow they could have said something. Honestly, it is just an excuse...it is how they justify their behavior. And as long as your WH still has contact with the OW nothing will get better in the marriage.

Wishing you peace as well....and take care of YOU.

~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha

My H had a million pathetic reasons for why he cheated. The best:
-not enough admiration at home
-all my attention went to the kids
-felt like he was getting old, the old mid-life crisis story
-OW made him feel young
-he felt that his life was boring and he craved excitement
-our M had become a business arrangement
blah, blah, blah

Just reading the list is infuriating because, of course, I was getting lots of attention and admiration,taking care of two kids and working full time is thrilling, I was getting younger each day and I took care of ALL the business arrangements.

My H has recognized that his reasons were excuses for not confronting the issues in our M or in himself. Yet, every time I hear about another WS giving those excuses I get enraged. Most of what H felt was true to some extent but he needed to grow up and deal with it, not run away from it into seedy relationships with OW. Yuck.