We are many years out from the various D-Days, as many of you know. Last night I woke up to hear my W talking in her sleep. All I could make out was the name of one of her 4 OM. It didn't sound like she was having a bad dream or anything like that.
I realize she's not responsible for what dreams may come, but it was shocking to me nonetheless. This morning, I told her she was talking in her sleep last night but that i couldn't make out what she was saying.
Just needed to vent a bit. No escape, even in sleep. I still have occasional nightmares about the A's, she has pleasant dreams.
BB
"Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy
than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our
misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us."
I am so sorry you are hurting yet again my friend. You have been through so much.
I remember one time my H talked in his sleep. He said " get your leg off me before I kill you ". I was truly scarred. I thought he meant it. I started packing that night.
He asked me why and I told him. He had no clue what he said or why, and it seemed innocent to him. Today it would seem innocent to me, but not then when I was raw.
Blue, it is because you are hurting so much that these words hurt.. even in her sleep. Dear friend that do not neccessarily mean words of pleasure, and they may not even be names of om. However, in your pain you hear hurtful noises.
Your wife has never been too helpful on your healing. Yet you continue to love her and hope.
I remember reading once if you always do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.
What can you do differently? What would help you to heal?
You help so many here. What wise words would you give someone in your situation?
Please know we all care about you and want only the best for you. You are truly a special person.
EL wrote: "You help so many here."
EL, YOU should talk!! You (and many others) have helped me more than words can express.
Pat: Thanks for responding, your empathy means MUCH to me!
My mom (age 83) had a mild heart attack yesterday--I'm on my way downstate to the "big" hospital to be with her.
Blessings to all of you. I only hope I get to meet some of you face to face someday, so I can give you warm hugs, richly deserved!
BB
From one Blue to another - - prayers and wishes for your Mom's recovery. I'm so sorry to hear about what happened the other night and now this on top of it. Dear Blue, I wish there was a way to send good things in your direction. You HAVE given so much here. You mean a lot to us. Be well. Drive safely. Let us know how your mom is doing. BlueIris
"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."
During my wife's A, I caught her talking in her sleep. She mentioned "Mike" which is the name of my stepdad who she did like. I figured she was having a dream and talking to him. She was talking in her sleep, but it was to the OM who had the same name.
Oh BB, Im so sorry you are still in so much pain. Seriously, does it ever end with an unremorseful WS? I wonder...am I lucky my WH up and left..I mean in the long run? I often wonder. Yes, I am still in a lot of pain, as you are...but yet I still wonder. Personally, I would have given anything of he had been remorseful......<sigh>...I still lovehim very much. (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha
Thank you all for the support & prayers for me and for my mom. You are the most caring group I have ever known, online or off. Thank God, she pulled through and is OK but weak & on tons of meds now.
It was a draining week for all of us, but the hospital staff was top notch, kind and supportive.
The first night at the hospital, my W and I had a terrible argument at our hotel--I went for a couple of long walks in the middle of the night to calm down. It just never ends....
She has actually been very caring & supportive for the most part, but I think due to BP (Borderline Personality) traits, she is a slave to her emotions-hot, cold & tepid, & they come on with no warning. I loved her after all the cheating and I love her now. I'm not a saint.
Just a guy. (no sexism intended)
BB
I know that you love your wife, and are doing OK, .. just not wonderful all the time.. You can explain her behavior, I can explain my H's.. ADD, he does things without thinking.. or that seems selfish, addictive, he can snap in and out of his behavior at times.. frustrating for those around him.. we totally react to the behavior..then it is back to a normal we can live with... all called our life.
take care,
Pat
"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."
When I was diagnosed three years ago has having OCD, so many aspects of me finally made sense to my H. When he was diagnosed this years as having OCPD, so many aspects of him finally made sense to me.
Living with a spouse who has a personality disorder can be challenging.
I am glad your mom is doing better.
Remember that no matter how your wife acts, that is NO reflection on you.
