There's an old saw: "You never know what you have until it's gone", or a variation thereof.
The accuracy is probably off the mark, because in most situations, we do appreciate what we have.
However, we fail to recognize their real value until we lose them, be it temporarily or permanently.

I know I appreciate HH and especially those who have listened while I told of my heartbreak, poured out their hearts,
and told their stories all to help me. What I didn't realize was how much I've come to lean on this group for support.
I've been experiencing connectivity issues of late and last week's outage tore it - so I changed providers.
For the few days I was "off the grid" it was if I was alone in the world - and at a terrible time. The 9/11 anniversary
is bad enough on it's own - personal losses - but my WW chose to start her PA on a 9/11 anniversary while I was
supporting the DOD. There's nowhere I can avoid the reminders.

Yes, I could have gone somewhere and "borrowed" a connection - but I need privacy especially when posting.

I guess what I'm trying to say is "Thank You". Anywhere else I'd add you'll never know how much you help...
but you do!

God Bless

TC

"Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup, and ride that highway in the sky. ...you never know until you try."

Tom,

HH is an wonderful source of support.

In reference to 9/11, it also has connections for me with my H's affair. He was still in his affair when the towers were struck on that fateful day. I remember it distincly, and I also remember wishing that at such a time H was not so, well you know how those in an affair are to their spouses. My D-day came not much later on Nov. first. He told me that 9/11 was one of the shockers that helped to pull him away from the OW. You see he and his department learned of the attack from me. I heard it on the radio as it was happening and called him right away. He then went to tell OW, who also worked in the same building, and she didn't care much as this country is not her place of birth and she had only been here for a coulple of years. H saw he in a sour light that day, and connected with me instead for our shared grief over our country's losses.

So each year, I cannot not help but think about both the sadness of our nations grievious losses, but also its connection to my personal infidelity suffering.

Ami

9 -11 is all a big trigger for me.. because it is about the time and I have a big question mark there that H"s yr long A began and ended with D-day # 2 on Sept 1 2002..

I am not sure when my H affair started .. he says following 9-11 but I have never believed that story.. I know that by the end of sept 2001 he had started the A.. I can look back and see his behavior .

HH has been a life savior for me.. when I joined and read posts back in 2002.( I spent all my time reading).. I found so much strength here and thank God every day that I was able to keep my sanity during the days following the discovery of the many A's and ONS's... H had following D -day 1 some 23 plus yrs ago..


I also say God Bless to eveyone who has posted there because they all help us get thru the really rough days..


Pat



"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."

9-11 is a trigger for many of us. I actually believe there is a website or I read somewhere about statistics on 9-11. One of the statistics that jumped out at me was how many people admitted to starting an A due to the trauma of 9-11. Have you ever watched the movie "Speed" with Keanu Reeves? Near the end the two main characters connect on an intimate level, bonded over their traumatic experience of being in a life or death situation...Sandra Bullock was quoted as saying:

[after surviving the bus explosion]
Annie: You're not going to get mushy on me, are you?
Jack: Maybe. I might.
Annie: I hope not, 'cause you know, relationships that start under intense circumstances, they never last.
Jack: Oh yeah?
Annie: Yeah, I've done extensive study on this.

MY WH's first A started somewhere around 9-11 as well, which is only a few days away from our son's second birthday. I remember him calling me up to tell me to watch the news and to see if the kids were being sent home from school. He was very cold sounding, as if he were in shock and felt nothing, even though he called out of concern. His first words were "we're being attacked". Little did I know my marriage was also being attacked. He was already depressed by this time...had already become addicted to the pot. It is almost as if 9-11 sent him over the edge. he was already in the state of mind that life is short...lets party....9-11 ssemed to bring that thought home even more so.


HH has been a key element in my healing. I have met many wonderful people and have made lifeloing friends here. Again...people tend to bond over trauma...but there are negative ways of bonding and positive ways of bonding. HH has been a positive experience for me and a lifesaver.

~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha

Tom

Thank you for your kind words. While the people who've contributed to make this place what it is are probably not doing it for the cudos, your kind words are a reminder of how important it is to have a place for people to come and openly share with each other.

>God Bless

This is exactly my personal purpose for working with the others who provide this service. (not to mention the fact that they are a great group to work with!!)

TomJ