I just past one year from being told by my wife about her affair that lasted a long time. I am doing better but still have my moments and days. It is healing to write and post here, and I havn't done so in a long time. This is my first time on this message board since it has been over a year now. It kinda like "yeah......." I qualify for a new message board. I know I am changed forever by this experience but our reconciliation seems to be going well. I still feel like so much has been lost though. I don't know if that feeling ever goes away, but I don't think it will. My wife has been much more remorseful and is comitted to us and not going there again. These are her words to me on a regular basis and I guess I believe tham in my head but heart doesn't trust her so much yet. I do see us making progress. I read something the other day that said "Affairs are not love stories - they are about deceit and have nothing to do with love." That really hit me hard. I was always thinking that she had this exciting fling on the side that was an enriching experience, but it wasn't really like that even if it appeared to be to her at the time. Affairs are awful and they only cause pain. I wish more people knew that. I wish people would think of the long term damage it causes so many other people than the short term excitement it brings to themselves. That is the problem - affairs are so selfish.

Im glad to hear you and your W are doing fairly well. It takes time...lots and lots of time and hard work. I know you still struggle. I think that's normal. I too wish everyone really thought about the consequences of their actions, but they don't. Even if they did, they may think it's worth it cause they have no clue or they just dont care!



best wishes and may you continue along the healing path,

~ CAL

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha