Each year there are posts about card shopping and the disappointments that come with looking through lovely cards with a broken heart.
Even years after dday, I put back the "To My Husband who has always been by my side" or "I know our love gives us the trust we need to relax completely..." or "you have always been there when I needed you.." kind of cards
and moving away from the "Husband/Wife" section and down to the "Sweetheart" and "New Love" sections (assuming you are shopping in the store with the big crown in the logo) gives options for cards that address the future and hope for the future.
This has helped me for most 'card sending' holidays. It might save you a few tears in the card store as well.
I found some that say "it hasn't always been perfect, but we've made it" or "we've been through a lot", things like that. But, if I don't find one like that I just don't give him one. And, I don't look that hard for them. So far they have just come to my finger tips within a few tries. Valentines, Birthdays, whatever. And, I've skipped a few entirely for lack of even wanting to try or to celebrate him in anyway.
Just depends, is it a good day or a bad day.
This is a tough "holiday." I like Peggy's view that V-day is more for the new loves, when the infatuation is fresh, for relationships under 2 years. My H has found a series of beautiful cards that are actually under a section called "Troubled Relationships" in the grocery store. They are beautiful and relevant. I just don't buy cards for him anymore. Not even funny ones. The messages all seem so trite after what we've been through. And I no longer put myself through trying to find one, getting upset when I have to put one back that screams "this doesn't fit, dammit, because you betrayed me" and then trying to make it out of the store before I dissolve into tears. We do make an effort to share these sentiments in our own words when we talk. Granted, these conversations are not always Hallmark moments. I could write a series of "Pissed Off With You" cards, as I'm sure we all could. AJ
This just sort of happened by accident because I had to lead a craft workshop at work and we made Valentines cards. That's what I gave him. It just said Happy Valentines on it with a stamp. That worked for me. I wrote in it what I want to be able to say and feel and what he wants to hear. It's sort of a Valentine's Card by intention, self fulfilling prophecy, that kind of thing. I think I even mean most of it, most of the time. But, there are still those days...
