I found out that WH is looking to cheat on OW#2, if he isn't already. He is online looking for a "casual f-buddy" and doesnt care if she is married or not since he was also looking for "a fling". He has also been looking at some major porn...like that's a surprise. And this from the man who recently told me "I will never cheat on anyone again. Through therapy I have learned it is the worst thing you can do to someone". Hmmmmm...OK that lasted for about 3 months, which seems to be about his average tolerance for abstaining from any of his many addictions. So did he say that just to hurt me? Cause he obviously didn't mean it. But I believe the Karma bus has arrived for OW#2. Like Dr. Phil says "If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you". Wonder how long it will take her to figure it out? Im waiting for the other shoe to drop! But Im not holding my breath. He is an expert at lying and manipulation, so this could take some time...if ever for OW#2 to find out. It also validates my guy-o-meter, as I never thought there were only two OW's ever. Everthing else has been a lie, so why not?

_ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha

Not sure about the karma aspect, but I would say that it affirms the quality of his character, which is better in his own mind and self image than the truth.

Who knows when he will see the truth of who he really is, and what kind of character he really maintains. I think his "promise" to you was an example of how he thinks more of himself than he really is. He could have believed it and meant it at the time, but he forgets that he has a tendancy toward seeking his own desires when they conflict with those of others.

TomJ

Cal,

Im not sure about the Karma Bus either. But understand that him cheating on her gives you some validation. It reaffirms it wasnt about you.

Sadly, as Tom says, this tells you who the man is, and it aint pretty.

My guess is the comment he made about never cheating on another person again, was something he said to make himself look good and feel better about himself. I doubt he meant it past the time it took to say it.

I'm curious...How did you find this out?

Ami

Thank you Tom & Ami for your replies...and validation. I have had my feelings so invalidated over the years by WH and even my in-laws, it just feels good to know my feelings and gut were right on, and that it wasn't about me...no matter how much he tried to blame me for his actions. You guys are the best



"I'm curious...How did you find this out?"

I bought WH a new laptop for Christmas two years ago. Dont know if you guys remember how upset i was that the employees were using it to look at porn while at work (I saw this firsthand with my own eyes) right after I bought it. Well, We were supposidly "working on our marriage" at the time but I was far from trusting of him and installed eBlaster. At the time of purchase I had to have a backup made of the operation system since new computers no longer came with them and it was recommended. So the guys used my name to create the first user profile...and my profile was the one I programmed eBlaster to report on. WH must have made his own user profile since we seperated...and I have not been sent any reports since. Eblaster only will report on user profiles you program it to report on, so if he created a new user profile eBlaster will not send a report...that's how it works. Anyway, the other day I suddenly get an eBlaster report out of the blue and it was filled with info...all the sites he visited, and for how long. That is how I found out...totally by accident. I hadnt even thought about eBlaster in like a year...I knew he'd either discovered it on his computer or he made a new user pofile. So for me to get the report he must have accidentaly signed on his computer using my user profile instead of his own. So this could have been going on for a long time without me knowing about it.

"Sadly, as Tom says, this tells you who the man is, and it aint pretty."

It sure does. I was talking to a freind last night and I told her I feel so betrayed by this. I told her I fell in love with the man he presented himself to be, not who he really is. Cause you are both right...who he REALLY is aint pretty. There is more...he has been telling our son that he cannot pick him up on some Mondays because he is volunteering at long distance blood mobiles and will not be back in time to spend time with him. Two weeks ago was one of those days he was volunteering, supposidly. Well, OW lives about a block from the post office...I went to check my PO box in the middle of the day, before the kids get home from school, and there he was at OW's house. Now that also shows his depth of character. He may have went to volunteer...I have no idea, but he was certainly back in penty of time to spend time with his son. Instead he chose to lie and to go to OW's house instead. His time with the kids has been getting less and less. On average, he sees our son for two-four hours a week. And 9 out of 10 times he comes to the house our daughter refuses to go with him (the 14yo who was cutting). She has also caught him at OW's house twice...as the school is only 2 blocks away and she sees his car there. When she called him to see why his car was near the school there all he said was "Would you like a ride home"? WTF?!!!!

"My guess is the comment he made about never cheating on another person again, was something he said to make himself look good and feel better about himself. I doubt he meant it past the time it took to say it."

Exactly! You and Tom are both right. He means what he says, but for like a minute and then it's like he forgot he even said it. He did this with me in therapy, when he calimed he would do whatever it took, and he said that right in front of the kids. And then in anotehr therapy session with our daughter he said he would ake time just for her and call her once a week...he did that twice and that was it...poof! Gone! He has yet to kep even one promise that he has made...well, I take that back....he promised to close on Mondays and he still does, but that is so he can spend time with OW, and online trolling for hoes, and getting high Im sure.


"Im not sure about the Karma Bus either."
I do not mean the Karma bus in regards to WH...I mant for OW. What goes around comes around.


"But understand that him cheating on her gives you some validation. It reaffirms it wasnt about you."

EXACTLY! And it actually helps me in my "moving on" direction. It makes me glad that I didnt listen to anymore of his pleas and lies....all the empty promises are as hollow as his soul.







~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha