I just stumble around the world of hair care :P
Humidity definitely ups my poofiness and so do conditioners that make my hair "too soft." But in terms of wave definition I have no clue as I don't really like my waves most days (too wavy and tangly and messy! ugh!!) and prefer to loosen them up by bunning overnight. I am also guilty of brushing them out and for this nice dry weather is perfect.
I think I like pomades and shea for the reason you just said in a way. They add smoothness and softness but not really moisture in the way a wet conditioner does. For me more slip dries into more frizz!
Yucchi

(scripture tag courtesy of christianwomenonline.net)
Blog:
http://thenannyspeaks.blogspot.com
Dark brown with lots of red (natural) highlights and white sprinkles
2BNii,
Now: 25"/34.25"/tailbone(36") then classic(41.5")!!
Goal: Waist-length (30")- reached!!, eventually classic
Wash: 5/08- trying out a diluted CO as needed. Shampoo about every 4 days (5/08- trying to cut back to 1x per week) with Giovanni shampoo or Body Shop's Honey Moisturizing shampoo, very occasionally with a 'poo bar
Condition: Giovanni Balancing or Tea Tree. ACV rinse as needed
Leave-in: Shea butter in "Blessed" scent, Giovanni leave in treatment, mist with Jasmine water, pure aloe for temple wispies
Tools: Body Shop wide tooth wood comb, Conair shower comb, seam-free hard rubber comb from Sally's for styling only