Had a tearful 'phone call from a friend last night, who isn't called Emma but does read this board.
Anyway background is Emma has owned 'Teddy' for ten years, and I've known them for a large part of that time and can say Teddy has always pretty much been trained +R even if Emma wouldn't have called it that at the time.
The hunt were around yesterday as they were at our yard and all the horses got stirred up, that coupled with the cooler fresher temp. had everyone on their toes.
So Emma went to get Teddy in and it was real one step at a time job with Teddy fixated on 'something' in the hedge and not wanting to approach.
Anyway to cut a long story short and with a 'bossy boots' livery approaching Emma swung the rope at his hindquarters to try and encourage him forward it was meant to contact but softly. It didn't it hit Teddy and Emma is now distraught that
a) she hit her horse
b) she changed what she was doing because she was afraid of someone else's reaction
I've told her that Teddy will forgive her and to not be so hard on herself, it wasn't a reaction through anger to hit, it wasn't an intention to hit as such.
Anyway I said I'd post here so she could see what you guys had to say. She has apologised to Teddy but is worried he won't understand the apology only the hit. I believe he will understand the apology as she won't do it again and I think horses can read us reasonably well or at least our good/bad intent?
That's my opinion anyway. Flicking a leadrope at a horse's hindquarters is never going to hurt. Whilst not being +R, it's not +P in the sense that a good smack with a crop is.
I would say I use lots of +R with my ponies, but if my/their safety is compromised by a lack of concentration on me, I need to do something quickly, regardless of there being another person around. I do feel truly awful and a failure afterwards, but it's preferable to being under a lorry which I know is approaching round the blind bend of a narrow road!
I feel for 'Emma' having peer pressures on a yard. My brief yard encounter this summer was much easier. I left due to Ragwort, but before that I found that as long as I argued my case and gave reasons for everything I did, people were fascinated by my methods - it made me more confident that what I did was right. Teddy sounds like a wonderful horse and his behaviour is a testament to 'Emma' and her ways of handling. Sometimes it's hard to be different, especially when the human need to 'fit in' is so strong.
Emma, be proud to be different. Whenever you doubt yourself, take a good look at your horse and how he interacts with you and his environment. The results will speak for themselves.
Poor Emma, I suspect that she is more traumatised than Teddy by this. My feelings are that a single smack with a rope, although not ideal, is not going to be salient enough to cause any significant problems. I feel that horses are aware enough of our emotions to know that an action that is out of character is a mistake and that we feel guilty about it. How many times has a horse trodden on your foot by mistake? There was no intention to cause harm and hopefully no one on this forum would take such an action by a horse personally!
Emma, give yourself a break, be proud of what you have achieved. You are a shiny star!
I agree with the above - she's being way too hard on herself. No-one, horse or human, is simply the sum total of their physical acts, the emotion or lack of behind a physical act can completely change its meaning. You've only got to watch horses for a short time to know they understand intention very well - there's no reason for a little blip like this to affect an established trusting relationship. Well done to Emma for caring so much - most people wouldn't have given it a second thought, her horse is lucky to be with her.
We are very good at forgiving our horses when their behaviour is less than desirable. I think we are less good at forgiving ourselves for, even momentary, blips...which is all this was.
I think Emma needs to put this behind her and not let it cloud the excellent work that she has done with Teddy.
Yup, don't worry, I definitely agree with the above.
The other day I was in the field checking my horse and gave him an apple. As he was munching it one of the other horses came over and true to wussy form, Jak dropped the apple and walked away. I decided I wasn't having this and picked up the apple before Charlie got to it. Before Charlie could mug me I lobbed the apple over to where Jak was, hoping he'd be able to eat it while I distracted Charlie. But it landed on Jak's back, gave him a bit of a fright and then landed just under his nose where he found and ate it. Couldn't have planned it any better!
So needless to say, Jak is not remotely traumatised by this one occurance of me "throwing an apple at him", is still pleased to see me and still likes apples.
One-off incidents of punishment or -R really aren't a problem, particularly if you are able to provide increased motivation if you find yourself in a similar situation another time. It's when they are repeated and/or form the basis of a training method that you have to be careful.
So, time to move on and carry on enjoying your horse