These two Aussie blokes are having dinner in this fairly upmarket restaurant.
In walks this very chic and elegant lady, who orders a Chardonnay and a bowl of peanuts. She sits down at on of the tables, and starts to eat the peanuts and sip her glass of Chardonnay.
Suddenly one of the peanuts gets stuck in her neck, and she starts gasping for air. One of the Ausiie blokes gets up from the table and walks over. "Can you speak?" he asks. She waves her hands in the air. "Can you breathe?" he asks. Once more she waves her hands in the air. By this time she is turning all shades of blue.
Quick as a flash he steps hehind her, pulls her out of the chair, pulls down her pants, and gives her a big wet lick, right up the back. The peanut flies out of her neck and across the room, and she starts breathing normally again.
The Aussie bloke goes back to his table and resumes eating his dinner. "Geez Fred!" his mate exclaims. "I've heard of the 'Heimlich Manoeuvre', but that is the first time I've ever seen it performed."