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  • the Vicar
    • onetox
      Posted Nov 9, 2009 4:54 PM

      At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
      There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.
      Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Melbourne stands up and proclaims:
      'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
      The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
      Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, 'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'
      More sighs and loud applause.

      Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him $ex.'
      There is total silence.
      The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
      'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'
      Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
      'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F**k him'.
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