My stylist Betsy came by yesterday and did a cut-in for another toplace customer. We had a few minutes to kill so we were chatting about hair wearing, and she was mentioning how the girls who work in her salon were talking about "the new skin-like hairpieces" that look "very realistic".
Now I did a little presentation in front of a group of stylists a few weeks ago, and not one of them had a clue what this stuff is all about. I take it as a good sign that some of them are becoming more aware of this stuff and how it works.
To me this seems like another step toward the advancement of the industry and the acceptance of it as a whole.
On the other hand the more they find out and the more clued up they become it will be easier for them to spot someone who is wearing, Right now Joe Public aint got a clue about the things we know, Probaly best to keep it that way
I answered some questions about hair replacement from an overly curious family member (very detailed questions) about a year ago. Now, she has deemed herself an official "spotter" with great pride. She's out there looking--and pointing and staring and whispering, no doubt.
Too much info can be a dangerous thing.
I have learned my lesson, and am now keeping it zipped.
I agree wholeheartedly. Its almost like spilling your guts on the fact that you were losing your hair in the first place. Nobody's who's not going it through can dig the experience.
So keep it zipped on the replacement thing. As B.A. says, its fabric with hair on it. To them, its just hair. You want someone looking up on your forehead instead of at your face, go ahead and "express" yourself. If you don't, keep it quiet. They ain't gonna understand.
Haha....Betsy always talks about wanting to be able to spot someone who is wearing. Apparently hairdressers don't pay any more mind to people's hair (in that respect) than the general public.....go figure.
Really what I was getting at was the social acceptability aspect of it. I pride myself in hanging out with cool people who are open minded enough to accept it for what it is, but for a lot of people out there who have never seen a light density SFS piece off of someone head and THINK they know what a hairpiece is, I think a lot of them would be more accepting of the whole concept if they understood it more.
>>So keep it zipped on the replacement thing. As B.A. says, its fabric with hair on it. To them, its just hair. You want someone looking up on your forehead instead of at your face, go ahead and "express" yourself. If you don't, keep it quiet. They ain't gonna understand.
I'm still taking the other side on this.
My friends who know I wear don't pay me a second glance.
People have MUCH more important things to worry about in their own lives than a good looking (albeit FAKE) head of hair on someone else. If it looks bad....that's a different story. But personally I don't go out in public unless it looks good, so that's not an issue for me.
first I have a question. Are all stylists familiar with the new skin product and its application. In other words is it applied any differntly? I received sample from BA and like the feel of it compared to lace so I think I will try one.
In regards to who knows I wear or not I could care less as long as they see it as the improvement to my appearance as I do. My limited experience tells me most people that knew me bald have had nothing but positive things to say about the change. The ones that dont know can only speculate at best.I may take a long time to make a decision but once I do there is nothing that will make me regret it.
The more people around you who know the more they will be inclined to tell you when something is amiss. If one person even suspects ...they all will know. I believe if you are nonchalant about wearing you take the "ugly and shameful stigma" away from wearing a "toupee"'. Most people will see how good they are an eventually they will be as accepted universally as they are within your own social. People are not going to change their opinion of me becasue I am wearing a hairpiece.
"When you walk with a limp, you notice how other's walk"
I had an instance that happened at McDonald's the other day. A fellow I have drank coffee with over the past 4 years, so yes he knows I wear and has seen all the progression. A fellow, an IRS agent, he knows came in he says Mike come here. I came and he looks at this guy; cue ball bald; and says wouldn't you like to have hair like his? He then says speaking about me, his is a toupee don't it look great. Then tells the fellow you would look good with a toupee. I am standing dumb founded. The fellow says I am fine the way I am. Only thing I could think to say was if you ever change your mind I would be happy to give you a Web address.
This fellow constantly talks about how good mine looks doesn't look like Trent Lotts, or Sam Donaldson or Howard Cossell. I appreciate him thinking it is good but does get old. I could point out all the problems as well as you folks could as well but I do appreciate the fact that John Q Public can't tell when it is a good system.
Hafa Adai!
This message has been edited by Drmacmike on Apr 4, 2008 1:58 PM
I can't believe that if people know you wear they don't give it a second thought, ever.
I actually made a clean break from most of the friends I knew that knew me bfore and after the transition.
When I was around them, they would say they didn't care or "never noticed" the piece, but then every so often there would be a comment made about it, usually in a joking manner.
It wasn't intentionally mean spirited, but still, it would make me very uncomfortable and just very "aware" when I was around them.
I much prefer my new life, the one where no one knows or to my knowledge even suspects. It's just more comfortable.
The bottom line is, why would we want everyone to know the how's and why's of wearing?
I'd say 99% of us keep it a secret and would like it to stay that way, so why help educate the general public so they can "spot" us?
If anyone "spots" a hairwearer, regardless of how good their intentions are they will talk and discuss it with others.
Who needs the aggravation?
Undetecable if one of my friends made a comment on my hair I would say " you've seen me both ways, in your honest opinion which looks better". I can handle any kind of constructive criticism, I won't tolerate mean or cynical and they all know it. lol Besides that all the chicks dig it and thats all I care about.
So far everyone has been extremely positive, some have asked me, "I dont know what you did but you look great". I also get, I love your new hairstyle, you look so much younger, you lost a lot of weight, oh and my favorite was an old Girl friend that said " you got something good goin on again, I might take you back". lol
Now if they talk behind my back, I dont know but so far thats just not the case.
if its down the line and you are older thats different-everybody's trying to keep the boat from going down
but this matter of "my friends are cool with it" and they take me for who I am, I ain't buying.
wearing a piece is wearing a piece and for those who have never experienced severe hair loss or tried a replacement, well, lets just say you're gonna catch 'em looking at the top of your head more than you want to
I may sound cynical, but I'll never sound naive about it
>>I'd say 99% of us keep it a secret and would like it to stay that way, so why help educate the general public so they can "spot" us?
My point is that people have better things to do than walk around looking at hair. And it isn't about training people to spot hair, it's about the stigma getting squashed. Would the world not be a better place for you personally if you didn't have the idea of getting "busted" floating in the back of your mind to some degree?
I'm 36 but look younger and hang with a younger crowd, and I can tell you firsthand that it's a great feeling to know that I have no "secrets" anymore. And 75% of the "shame" associated with wearing is a REFLECTION of your own attitude about it.
If you are spotted by someone who ISN'T a hairwearer, you need to make some adjustments. Not saying it can't or doesn't happen, but as a general rule it won't if you're doing it right.
>>if its down the line and you are older thats different-everybody's trying to keep the boat from going down
>>but this matter of "my friends are cool with it" and they take me for who I am, I ain't buying.
This is exactly what keeps the stigma alive and well.
I don't have to be 70 years old to not care what people think.
If I look good and people tell me I look good, what is all the fuss about a few judgmental losers who will ALWAYS have something to say about something?
The person who is responsible for me personally getting involved in hair replacement had such a nonchalant attitude about it, and I thought it was AWESOME. He an HCM member and looks fantastic. He pays out the nose, but he looks good and he doesn't care who knows. Matter of fact, I would almost say he's proud of it.
>> Id have to agree with B.A. on this 1. The less they know the better for us i see it.
On one hand, yes, but that is assuming that most people would even give it a second thought ten minutes after the subject was discussed. My way of thinking is that if they DO put any more thought into it and if they happen to bring it up to other people, they aren't gonna be snickering about it, they are going to be fascinated by it, just as these hairdressers seemed to be.
Jrob, first of all thanks, you've been very kind and helpful to a newbie such as myself who does not yet wear. I'm thinking of going from bald and shaved down to a (somewhat) long system, mostly because I believe longer hair can conceal some of the newbie mistakes I'm bound to make. I went to a free consult where they put several diff pieces on my head. By far the one that looked best was the one that was longish and blonde (and I have brown hair!) Of course if I go long (my hair's at about 1/2 inch right now!) everybody will know, but I don't really care too much about that. I just wanna look good, not necessarily "fool" people, and damn that longish hair looked good, even with my brown sideburns kind of showing. If I went long (5-6 inches) brown, I know I would look great, and as I got more used to DIY'ing, I could try shorter styles. I assume toplace pieces are of comparative quality to his...after all, he told me it would cost 800 dollars and that it was the same piece Wayne Newton pays thousands for, therefore I'd be getting a bargain!
