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Dear Anyone who will listen:
I am beginning my "Dazey days", which has been my idiom for this thing called pms/pmdd. I just finished my period less than two weeks ago, and I was great for about I week, except for the residual guilt I feel for being me.
I am sorry to say that along with this mental confusion I am extremely volatile and I "read into" everything the "wrong way"(sometimes I believe I am being insightful, but my husband says I am just downright paranoid and accusatory).And don't mention the awesomely outrageous and inarticulate things I say at the top of my lungs that even as I say them, I know they sound idiotic---I even feel lower-back pain and abdominal pain like I am about to start my period---and I am very tired. Just hear me out, I am so tired of being me. My kids see me act crazy and i feel crazy(they are 9 and 10) I am ashamed to say that I haven't found the self-control to not scream like a two year old in a department store having a tantrum---funny? but it's true. I practice my religion, but i feel like a hypocrite and so unaccepted by God---I spend half of my time confessing this rage I feel and take out verbally on my family.
I wish that it were that I was just confused at times, fuzzy in the head, unable to drive or handle money (don't give me money three days before my period----I won't be able to tell you *where it went*) But anything sets me off. This would be about the time I would have a chocolate milkshake, brownie, or several smirnoffs---but I am "clean" and plan to stay that way. thanks for listening
This message has been edited by dazey_duck on Jun 19, 2004 8:06 PM This message has been edited by dazey_duck on Jun 19, 2004 8:05 PM This message has been edited by dazey_duck on Jun 19, 2004 7:58 PM
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