Hi Lisa
You will always find a hearing ear here, and maybe I can offer you some comfort.
First of all, let me tell you that the guilt associated with PMDD is something that is to be expected, and you're not the first to have feelings of remorse. Just be careful that the guilty feelings don't become an untenable burden. Here I would advise thinking as the Buddhists do ... ZEN ... "it is what it is", and move on. Each day is a new beginning.
Yes, women with PMDD can be paranoid, take things way out of proportion and make mountains out of what is ordinarily mole-hills. It is an uncomfortable truth that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with pro-actively. At least you acknowledge your emotions and actions, and can recognize that your rationale is out the window come PMDD time. It is a very important beginning, a very crucial part of healing and repairing the damage created by PMDD, the acknowledgement.
About feeling that you are unaccepted by God ... my dear ... you have to accept and forgive yourself first and foremost. Happiness and contentment with life lies within, and not in external forces. Start thinking a little more positively, and learn to live in the here and now. Don't live in fear of the future and in sadness of the past. We can only learn from our past mistakes, we cannot undo them, what is done is done.
About the cravings, these are natural, and best allowed than ignored. The cravings indicate a drop in serotonin levels, this occurs naturally in premenstrual women due to the changes in hormonal levels. Carbohydrates facilitate better uptake of the amino acid L-Tryptophan (from food sources) and its subsequent conversion to Serotonin (the feel-good brain chemical that helps to regulate our moods, sleep and hunger). If you have a craving, instead of turning to the high-sugar junk foods, turn instead to complex carbohydrates such as for example whole-wheat bread or cooked potatoes (no, potato chips have too much of the bad oils and salt). During your PMDD time I would definitely recommend eating a good amount of cottage cheese daily (contains high levels of L-Tryptophan), drinking warm milk before bed time if you can tolerate it, and eating chicken and turkey instead of red meat or pork products. The healthier food choices will satisfy your cravings much more effectively, not to mention give you a sustained level of energy (instead of the extreme highs and lows of too much simple-sugar and caffeine consumption).
I would highly recommend you consider taking an L-Tryptophan supplement -- you can read more about it by following the link I have placed above re. this very important essential amino acid.
All the best,
Anthea