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Hello, I am very, very concerned for my friend who has severe PMDD. From ovulation to menstruation she has experienced the worst of symptoms. She has had periods of waking blackouts where she is totally out of character. During these times she has role-played suicide to "see what it would feel like", tried to walk out on her family because "they are great and don't deserve to put up with her crap", and exhibited great rage. She has 3 very young sons, 1,3, and 5. She knows that she also has issues to deal with from her upbringing. Her mother was mentally abusive, and degraded her. She is deeply involved in our church and now has friends who will help her, but we don't know how. She has figured out that the worst symptoms occur from PMDD. She has just started seeing a psychatrist and wants a total hystrectomy. I'm her friend and want to help her. Please help me help her.
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It is most unfortunate for your friend to suffer so much, especially sad is the fact that she has young children.
The best thing you can do as a friend is to be there for her by listening, giving encouragement and only offering advice when she asks for it. It is natural to want to help and give support and advice, but it is not wise to offer such unless it is wanted (or asked for).
It is more important that your friend comes to her own realizations, this way any work and effort towards healing will reap more permanent and positive results. She is making a wise first step by seeking professional help. She should be encouraged to continue in this direction. Her underlying issues (childhood abuse) is a very crucial factor, and if these are not addressed and taken care of at the same time as treating her PMS/PMDD symptoms, then there will not be much improvement in her overall mental health, psyche and physical health and well being.
In the meantime, don't forget her children, as they too are suffering under this burden and will especially need extra love, care and attention from responsible and astute adults.
All the best,
Anthea
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