i've been overly emotional for the past year now. i realized it normally happens two weeks before my period. during those times, i become irrational and insecure, desperate and desolate. i helplessly drown in sadness that i felt like giving up several times.
the worst part of it is how i drive my partner crazy. he becomes my easy target and i take it all out on him.
late last year, i sought counselling. my counsellor see me as smart and so-together that we didn't set regular sessions.
but i guess i'm not smart. i'm definitely not s0 together. the crazy days still happen. it's ripping my relationship with him apart.
a month ago, i sought the opinion of my OB. since i've had two ectopic pregnancies and a number of fertility pills, she thinks it's my hormones and duly prescribed prozac.
yesterday, i sought the opinion of a psychiatrist. since i am constantly under stress with my long and tedious hours in tvc production, she thinks it's my imbalanced biochemistry, diagnosed me as clinically depressed and duly prescribed prozac plus another drug.
no offense to those who take it but i refuse to. i am not a pill popper. i haven't exhausted all other ways to cope. i haven't tried yet.
i am emboldened by thoughts of overcoming this in the most natural way possible --- healthy diet, exercise, vitamins and yoga...plus regular counselling.
but what if my OB and psychiatrist are right? what if i cannot do it the natural way? what if i really need drugs?
i am saddened by the look i get in the mirror --- how have i become like this? why?
i used to be outgoing and cheerful, confident and a go-getter. where have that side of me gone?
today i have hope. i believe that i will be better. my recognition of my state is my first step.
thank you all for your sharing. it feeds my hope. it becomes the little steps in between the big steps i am going to take for a better me.
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