I have been reading this forum for a few days now and want to thank everybody for their input. It really have made me realize my problem, and for the first time of my life actuately also to act !
I'm in the beginning of the 30 and have had problems with tight foreskin as long as I can remember. As many others (I guess) I have learnt to live with my little problem. Then a few weeks ago I met a girl which I really really liked !! This was the trigger ! I finally decided to do something about the problem.
I have only just started with the stretching but after reading the mails in this forum I'm full of confidence that I will suceed.
Just one question at this point. It is a little diffucult to get a grap on the foreskin here at the beginning. Any advice regarding this ?
Can you pull the skin out away from the glans to make it easier to grasp?
Soeren (no login)
Yes no problem
August 10 2004, 11:35 AM
Yes I can puul the skin out away from the glans (the foreskin is actually very long), but the hole is very little, so it is difficult to get both thumps inside. The hole is almost the same size as the nail of a thump (is this very little ?). Can I for instance start by stretching the skin without putting 2 fingers inside (if you understand what I mean).
When stretching should I go like "stretch, loosen, stretch, loosen....." or should I just stretch as much as possible all the time ? (sorry, but it is a little hard to explain).
OK, we've had this query before - perhaps you could clarify as to why it's difficult to grasp? If it's because you are leaking pre-cum, or just a little residual moisture, then you might have to carry a handkerchief or hand towel ("face-washer") to dry it off first, or even use to grab it. If it's a problem of "fit", then tell which manoeuvre you are attempting, and we'll suggest the next step.
Soeren (no login)
August 11 2004, 12:08 PM
No, it's neither pre-cum or residual moisture. I dry it before stretching. You see, my foreskin is very long (I don't know what you call this), and when I try to stretch by grapping with my thump and my forefinger, it only seems like the foreskin is stretched "on the upper and the lower" side (when looking down on my penis the side that is closest and most far away - if you know what I mean). The picture that you have shown several times where the thumps are used together with the forefingers is the same technique I try to use, but my foreskin is not as wide as the one shown on the picture, and therefore the sides on "the left and on the right" are not being stretched, becourse that is where I hold the foreskin.
I will try with my little fingers the next time as suggested by Jim.
At the moment I'm stretching 3-4 times per day (5-10 minutes every time). After doing the stretching I pull the foreskin as long back as I can, and hold it for a couple of minutes. When I do this the opening is about 1,5 cm. in diameter. Not quite enough to get it behind the head yet. After stretching I can feel the foreskin has being stretched for about half an hour, so I guess this is a sign that something is happening after all.
However, after just a few days of stretching it seems already to be more loose than before (even though I might not use the right technique). I guess that if I just continue like now it will sooner or later be wide enough to get my thumps inside, so I can stretch "all the way round the foreskin".
By the way, if you have a "real phimosis" there is supposed to be a white ring around the edge of the foreskin. How exatly does it look ?
The important factor in this deal is that you are doing something that is getting results. There is not really a right or wrong way unless you do something that hurts. What you are attempting is to increase the diameter of the hole. If it's getting easier to retract, that's already happening.
On some internet sites, there are lengthy discussions about various symptons involved in phimosis or whatever it should be called. I try to avoid getting into those discussions because such things as white rings affect such a tiny percentage of the population that it isn't worth the energy spent to deal with it for the general population. You're making progress, so obviously you don't have a rare disease that manifests in white rings that might impede your success. Those who are so afflicted can also stretch, but there are medications generally used to combat the problems of the disease.
The critical point - the one where you've "won over it" as it were, is when you can get two little finger tips inside. This is probably better using lubrication so you can literally slip the fingers in, and in fact, the thing before that is to slip just one thumb inside. (Obviously, you require well-manicured fingernails.)
The manoeuvre is to try and first "open" the foreskin, then to get the thumb inside and pull the foreskin over it from one side then the other. If you can do this (or use a smaller finger first), then the finger or thumb is your dilator, and this is useful because it is so long that it will be able to get in no matter how long your acroposthion (part of foreskin past the glans) is.
So you use progressively larger fingers as dilators, and the next step up from the thumb, is two little fingers. Once you have those inside, you can pull them apart and effect the stretch to virtually any size, very much easier than just pulling on the outer foreskin.
The easiest of all, is of course when you can use both index fingers, since they are the strongest (except for thumbs, but they face the wrong direction) and though you don't really need all of their strength, it does make it easier to sit and do this for ten minutes or so at a time. In my profession, holding things apart patiently for intervals of five or ten minutes at a time is an essential skill.
Firstly I have to say that a "real phimosis" with a "white ring" is really of no importance, whether that is present or not, the treatment is (almost) the same. The difference is that if there is still active inflammation with redness, irritation and/ or cracking (fissuring) of the skin, this needs to be addressed (with antifungal and/ or steroid cream as appropriate) at the point of (or before) starting stretching. Mostly, a "white ring" is a part which is tight and blanches most (blood is squeezed out of it, making it go pale) when the stretch is applied.
As indeed, Jim says ...
Soren (no login)
August 14 2004, 5:16 AM
This morning I took a long warm bath. After beeing in the bath tub for a while I pulled the foreskin gently back, and plop ! There it was staring back at me, the glanse. YES !!!!, a major breakthrough after only one week of stretching.....! What can I say ? This thing really works ! It was a little difficult to get back over the glanse, becourse the foreskin kind of "rolled inside". But with a little patience it came back all right.
Off course I have still a little way to go before beeing able to retract when erect, but after this morning I am full off confidence that I will get there. Paul, I haven't really got the grip of it with putting the two little fingers inside, but what the h..., it still seems to work, so I must be doing something right.
Once again I want to thank you Jim and also you Paul for all your advice. The adress of this web site should really be given to all young boys when reaching their teens. This is indeed one of the absolute top moments of my life !!!
And to all you other guys trying to get advice on this web site. Just keep stretching. Even though it might take a little bit longer for some it definitly works. Apart from the physical side (the foreskin beeing tight), it also takes a little to overcome the fear of what will happen when the glanse is exposed. And if I can win over this fear, so can you !
PS: I hope you can forgive me for my bad English !
Thanks for telling us about this new event in your life. Please pass the URL on to young men you know so that they can prevent these problems from occurring.
I'm curious where you are located.
Soren (no login)
August 14 2004, 5:35 PM
I'm from Denmark (a small country in Western Europe in case you didn't know), and found your site on a Yahoo search. The problem with the Danish sites I have visited until now about the subject is that they all consider circumcision as the only solution to the problem. So I will definitly pass on the adress.
I'm really amazed that the Danish sites don't encourage stretching as an alternative. It could possibly be that they are run by proponents of the surgery, rather than those who really know what works. We find that internet sites are often run by those who have a particular personal goal to achieve rather than one for the good of those seeking the advice. There are many sites which expound the benefits of removing the foreskin, but they fail to explain the great losses that occur when the penile structure is robbed of most of its sensory system.
Yes, I've certainly heard of Denmark, as many fine Americans have roots there.
Since your flaccid glans will in fact fit - squeeze is the word - through a fairly narrow opening, I can well imagine that the opening is still too tight to fit two little fingers inside. As Jim says, do keep on doing what you are doing.
At some state, you will be able to get the two little fingertips inside, in which case it will be possible to "hook" the fingertips past the tight part and inside the foreskin next to your glans, where the foreskin is not so tight (because it has been naturally stretched to fit your erect glans). In effect, the tight part of your foreskin will fall into the crease between the middle and tip parts of the finger, and there will be no tendency for the fingers to slip out when you carefully pull them apart from each other.
This will therefore be an easier exercise, and is important as even with an erection, the head of the penis will only stretch the foreskin opening to the point of being a tight fit. If you want to make it an easy fit, you need to stretch it a little more than this, so you need to be able to use the fingers to stretch it this way.
The empowerment comes at various levels. First is to realise that the "paraphimosis" about which you have read, is not actually - to you - a real danger, because you have the ability to correct it promptly, every time. It only causes trouble to people who are incapable of doing so.
The second level is to understand that this whole problem does not require recourse to doctors and surgery. It is a great pity that few doctors have the breadth of expertise to help you in non-surgical management, but this is largely doe to people's expectations of them! Phimosis is not (often) a "medical" condition, but can be fixed simply by - knowledge. Understanding that it will work, but that it is necessary to approach it with determination. And should you be further troubled by a tight fraenulum - so called "fraenulum breve", then the exact same procedure, albeit a little more exacting, will sort it out.
The third level is somewhat more philosophical. This principle applies not only to the function of your penis. In like fashion it applies to women also, because they have certain expectations or requirements of their genitals - notably to do with the process of birth and breast-feeding. There are even more ways in which they can be misled about how to get these things to "work" and what interference might be "medically" necessary, and substantial knowledge is also required to sort out how to make this experience empowered and empowering also.
I have a somewhat irreverent concept of "deep secrets" which affect our whole life. Understanding these, life can be really fulfilling and as uncomplicated as possible. But the "secrets" are frequently perfectly obvious. One such as an example is - never smoke. If you never smoke, you never become addicted, never visualise it as a form of "help" for stress or other unpleasant problems, and not only remain far physically healthier, but mentally as well - since dependence is a multi-faceted mental disease. One simple rule, followed accurately - makes life so much easier.
Soren (no login)
Problems or challenges
August 15 2004, 3:03 PM
Thanks for your replies. It really is disappointing that even official sites do not recognise the effect of stretching when the effect seems to have been proven by many fine men.
And to you Paul. Thanks for the philosophical input. Life definitely would be much easier if we all stopped running around with these “deep secrets” which I agree is frequently obvious. But I guess that’s just human. Until a few weeks ago I thought that I was the only guy in the world with this problem. Finding sites like Jim’s on the i-net has made me realize that there are many facing the same thing as me. 2 weeks ago I defined it as a problem, but one thing that I have learned is that when it comes to matters like these there are very few problems, but a lot of challenges. It is just to deal with them one after another, and your life will definitely look quite different. One of the other challenges that I had a few weeks ago in fact was that I had been smoking for many years. I guess one of the reasons I hadn’t quit a long time ago was that I used “my other challenge” as an excuse. I needed this kind of “dope” to get away from reality. However the day I started stretching I quitted smoking, and haven’t touched or even thought of a cigarette since then.
And that is not all ! Having had this challenge with my foreskin I have always had problems with the opposite sex. However with all this confidence that I have got over the last couple of weeks I have even had the strength to turn this problem into a challenge. In fact I have just got back from my third date with this girl (which I mentioned in my first mail), and I have had no problems what so ever. We haven’t had sex yet, but I am pretty sure that when we get to that point we will even find a solution to that challenge.
Sorry for being so philosophical (it’s getting late here in Europe ), but this last couple of weeks have really changed my life. So once again to all other guests on this site. Start considering your problem with your foreskin as a challenge, and just deal with it. After a while your view of your life will look quite different, and you might even have the strenth to deal with other things in your life that needs to be improved (and this is from a guy who still is not able to fully retract when erect, but who a 110% sure that this challenge will also be solved).
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