Both males and females create the lubrication naturally upon sufficient arousal. Penetration ideally follows a time of preparation commonly known as foreplay. It involves hugging, kissing and fondling.
Hello Manish. Thanks for coming and posting here - I really do honestly think that you will get more sense here than on that other site! Whilst Ivan and Jake Booth are dedicated to your success, there are others there whose contributions can only be harmful.
Please have a read around here - there is a lot of information that we have tried to impart in the past, particularly on the finer points of the stretching that you are performing. In summary, the answer to your question is as follows, point by point.
The purpose of the foreskin is on the one hand, to protect the (sensitivity of the) glans, or penis head when not "in use", but also to provide a mechanism for it to slide easily in and out of the vagina during intercourse, assisting the lubrication that is produced by both participants under optimal circumstances. In addition, the foreskin is itself sexually sensitive.
The foreskin has a secondary function - whilst it could hardly be said to be "designed" for masturbation, it is an enormous convenience to the process of stroking the penis due to this "built-in lubrication" effect. I would find it surprising if you did not already realise this, but you may not have considered all the consequences.
Circumcision removes the foreskin, thereby destroying both the protective and "lubricating" functions. Clearly, intercourse is still possible and indeed, many circumcised men cannot visualise that the experience might actually be better had they been left intact as infants. The observations of people who have had both the opportunity and the perceptive skills to compare the difference - such as women who have had both circumcised and intact partners, or men that have been circumcised for reasons other than a perverse interest in the procedure - are fairly clear that both sensitivity and smooth conduct of intercourse, suffer from circumcision.
A fellow such as yourself, who is (we assume) unable to retract the foreskin over the glans, is in almost as unfortunate a situation as having been circumcised, since the "gliding" or "telescoping" action of the foreskin which helps to keep the natural lubrication from being stripped or "pumped" out of the vagina, is missing and whilst a glans that cannot be exposed, or but rarely, is very sensitive, the covering foreskin does reduce its ability to be stimulated by the vagina, particularly when women lose the muscular ability of the vagina (due to childbirth).
One major difference, it must be remarked, between being circumcised and having phimosis, is that the latter is readily fixable (by stretching), whilst the former is not(, certainly not easily).
It is as Ivan has (elsewhere) stated, certainly true that many men - no doubt millions on the world scale - do reach adulthood with an unretractable foreskin, proceed to marry, father children, enjoy intercourse almost as much as the others (and certainly as much as the 15% or so of the world's population who are circumcised), probably most of the time without really realising that there is anything "wrong". It turns out that despite the availability of media and education nowadays, sexual ignorance is still only too common!
The one problem you may have during intercourse, is the possibility that your foreskin might be forcibly retracted where you would not have chosen to do so. This can happen not with a foreskin that is so tight it will not retract at all, but where is has "loosened" to the point that it will partially retract when flaccid, but not when erect. It is further possible that being forcibly retracted in this situation may cause tearing of either the foreskin itself, or of the fraenulum. Also the foreskin may get "stuck" behind the glans ("paraphimosis").
Now whilst people tend to fear these outcomes, it needs to be remembered that in regards to tearing, women are almost expected to suffer some tearing with early intercourse and just as with the women, such tears will heal (and result in loosening of the tight part - a "natural" means or correction of the problem). Also, a foreskin which could be pulled back over the head, can with equal certainty be pulled forward again by a good grip and firm pressure (even if slightly painful), particularly when the erection is lost (as it generally is due to pain and alarm).
The major cause of such pressure being applied to the penis as to cause these problems, is in fact, the lack of lubrication of the vagina - and quite generally, whatever is painful to the penis implies discomfort to the woman also, so that neither participant will be entirely pleased. Where this happens, the solution is to pay more attention to "preparing" the woman to be sufficiently engaged to be lubricating profusely, or to use an artificial lubricant.
Of course, you clearly (credit again to Ivan) would be irresponsible not to use a condom. Condoms tend to "capture" the man's contribution to lubrication so that the penis generally slips inside the condom, making it substantially less likely that enough force would be applied to the foreskin to force it to retract, so they reduce - substantially - the risk of such problems. Unfortunately, the condom itself is subject to such stresses, and if due care to lubrication is not given, it will be the condom rather than the foreskin that is damaged - a different, but equally unfortunate outcome! But in short, you may presume that wearing a condom will actually "hide" any problem you have with your foreskin.
Please do give us a good indication of whether this explanation addresses your concerns? But please do also research here regarding the more effective ways to stretch your foreskin.
Just continue doing whatever you're doing and the skin will eventually grow enough to allow retraction soft or hard.
Posting a video on this FREE site just isn't possible. We'd have to move to another host site that would create more problems than it's worth. Recently Yahoo abruptly eliminated sites dealing with foreskin restoration. Fortunately, there are still places where such valuable information can be dispensed, but it causes a great deal of work and frustration to try rebuilding what has taken months or years to accumulate.
rich (no login)
not quite true Jim
April 28 2006, 8:48 AM
Jim, it is possible to host videos on the site, you create one and upload it, and using either megaupload.com to link to, or youtube.com to actually show the video on the forum, it can be done. Unless there is a restriction in place which i am unaware of
What is necessary to ensure the foreskin is loose when you have an erection, is to stretch it larger than your erect penis head. This is why simply pulling back over an erection will be very slow - though it will eventually help.
The method of "hooking" two fingertips (or thumbs) inside the foreskin (without an erection) and pulling them apart - not such as to cause pain - is probably the most practical for this. And do remember that when you get to the point that it works just fine, do this for a month or so longer, so it "sets" that way.
Regarding the video,
We would need to find someone with a difficult-to-retract foreskin to demonstrate the technique, and video the demonstration.
They would need to be willing to have the video published on the Web (of course, their face would not be shown).
It would have to be edited - I'm not saying we can't do this, but I for one am unfamiliar with it.
It would need a "voice-over" and
As Jim points out, there is the matter of hosting.
I presume (Jim) at least, that Yahoo also exterminated all the circumcision and "skinback" fetish groups? Let's face it, Yahoo is American, and America is only getting more prudish and ignorant all the time, is it not?
One problem we have here is decernment of intention. So many perverts use situations such as this to feed their sick appetites. Unfortunately, the ordinary man on the street is so removed from the truth about the subject dealt with herein, that he is easily confused into seeing them as the same. The wholesale slaughter of foreskins certainly doesn't help the situation either.
I suspect that some "well meaning" parents caught their kid in visits to such sites and took action against them. It could also be that the unrelentless mutilators could have had a part in getting rid of some of the better sites.
rich (no login)
April 29 2006, 3:41 AM
Well, we wouldn't necessarily need to do it that way Paul. We could just get someone with a 'working' foreskin and just demonstrate how the stretches are to be done. Voiceovers would not be needed as video recorders generally have microphones built in, so the person would just need to say 'stretch 1, two fingers inside' or something similar so we knew what was being demonstrated, then upload to the computer - if done on a mobile phone this can be done with bluetooth - and then use either youtube or megaupload to either link from here to there, or to show it on this site itself. There is a possibility of it being taken down, but as it is a solely educational video i can't see there being much of a problem.
The glans will automatically condition itself over time to the type of stimulus it receives. Be patient, continuing the stretching exercises, and practice retraction at every opportunity. As you retract regularly, the nerves in the glans will adjust in response.
When engaging in sexual activity, lubrication is absolutely vital. The natural lubricant which you produce and which your partner also produces will help those sensations you now feel to transform into properly pleasurable ones.
Be thankful, Manish, that you have a sensitive glans. A debilitating loss of sensitivity is often one of the most egregious consequences of circumcision.
As an internal organ, the glans penis is designed to interact primarily with mucosal surfaces which are heavily bathed in natural lubricants. If you must touch your glans with your fingers ... first moisten them liberally with a lubricant ... something on the order of "Astroglide", "KY", or equivalent.
Attempt to duplicate natural sensations, and you'll be OK. Only be delicate ... the sort of madscrap pounding to which circumcised men usually subject themselves is indicative of the severe loss of sensation to which they have been condemned. Intact sensations are much more subtle and profound.
Please do tell me, why you think you should be able to touch your glans? It is true, this question gets asked from time to time, but I wonder from where people get such an idea. I'd genuinely appreciate your explanation of this matter.
As you say, you are "from a place where we hardly talk about sex", which means you presumably know even less about women - their physiology and their sexuality. Honestly, I can't hope to give you a complete lesson here on this - I think you need to find some good references - perhaps on the 'net though again, there is just so much rubbish posted, generally advertising posing as "necessary information", that I do see it may be difficult for you to pick reliable information from the bad stuff.
You might consider buying a proper book by mail order - I can't claim experience of recent publications, but a quite old one would no doubt still be perfectly valid (this stuff doesn't actually change, though some opinions might) - "The Joy of Sex" by Alex Comfort. And I think you just might find this in a library, or even a second-hand book shop, even in your own country.
Just in brief, you really should know that a woman's clitoris - the part that corresponds to your penis (glans), is at least as sensitive as your glans - it is hidden between the labia (genital lips) and very few women would deliberately touch it with dry fingers.
So, you may ask, what do they do? Well, some simply don't touch it! I mean, some don't masturbate at all, and of those who do (probably most, actually), many simply rub their outer vulva with their hand or hands, or rub it against something such as a pillow, chair arm or all sorts of things.
We get back to this matter of "lubrication". An interesting point, but I suspect that for most men, they produce this lubricant or "pre-cum" mostly when they are actually with a woman in a sexual or quasi-sexual context or failing that, looking at images of women or very strongly visualising the sexual presence of a woman. As a consequence, it may not be so apparent during masturbation. Similarly, women exude substantial amounts of lubrication from the vagina (and certain glands - the Bartholin's glands which correspond to the Cowper's glands which produce that "pre-cum" in men) - but only when sexually aroused in a sufficiently favourable situation.
Women therefore, may use one of these indirect forms of stimulation until they get sufficiently aroused, at which point they can pick up some of the lubrication from their vulva, on their fingers and then they can rub their clitoris directly. Every so often, it is necessary to collect more lubrication from the vulva, to ensure the fingers slide over the clitoris with no resistance. Now of course, this also defines the method that you would need to pleasure your young lady and I remind you that it is clitoral stimulation, not the penis in her vagina, that in the vast majority of cases permits the woman to experience an orgasm. Again, all this (and more) is covered in most serious books on sexuality.
Getting back to yourself, I will presume - because I should be most surprised if you did not do so - that you are in the habit of masturbating with modest frequency. As such you already know that it is unnecessary to touch your glans directly to stimulate it perfectly adequately. If you consider it carefully, you will realise that your glans is not "too sensitive" at all - it is in fact perfectly correctly sensitive. Like the ladies, you stimulate it indirectly, using the foreskin as a "lubricant" to slide over it.
If then, you wish to "touch" your glans (but again I ask - why do you need to?) - you need to use a lubricant of some sort - the best are those sold for that purpose, in association with condoms.
Please understand that the desire to "touch" your glans, has nothing whatever to do with having intercourse, because to have intercourse (with due affection and consideration for your partner), you do not attempt to introduce your penis into her until you have been touching her and are already using her "wetness" to allow you to touch and stroke her clitoris. If (when) you can do that, it follows that she is wet enough to allow you to slide your sensitive glans in with perfect comfort.
It is most unfortunate that circumcised men have severely reduced sensitivity, such that while they still appear to enjoy intercourse as much, their partners are apt to find them too rough and become less "receptive" to sexual activity (and particularly intercourse) than they otherwise might be.
Current Topic - Is it possible to do sex with phimosis
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