A significant amount of mis-
information surrounds the use of condoms but hey, what's new!
One particular point is the advice to "leave space at the end of the condom", supposedly to allow for the volume of the ejaculate. Many (most?) condoms have a "teat-end" design so that the penis cannot actually fit all the way to the end, to ensure that this reservation of space automatically happens.
This suggestion is in practice somewhat farcical. What actually
happens is that soon after sexual activity begins, the vast majority of men produce "pre-come", the lubricant secretion from the urethra (which incidentally, is not
related to semen and does not
contain sperm unless there has been a previous, recent ejaculation) which then causes the penis to move perfectly easily within the condom, so that it moves into the "reserved" space and back again, possibly with each thrust.
The advice that the foreskin should be fully retracted before applying the condom, is a logical extension to the "reserved space" proposal. Some people suggest pulling the foreskin forward again after
fitting the condom, presuming of course, that you have a foreskin which actually does stay forward during an erection.
If you have phimosis, then clearly you do
have such a foreskin, but many men will have a foreskin that naturally falls back during an erection and whilst it can
be pulled forward quite easily, will automatically retract again when released. You could probably
say that this is how it is "supposed" to be as that is how the foreskin or sheath behaves in the vast majority of mammals, though there are other viewpoints.
Again, the point is that once the inside of the condom is lubricated by the "pre-come", the penis will move quite easily within the condom. If the foreskin retracts on each forward thrust and re-covers the glans on each withdrawal, it is most
unlikely to carry the condom with it; the length of the condom beyond the foreskin will simply tend to remain within the vagina and in fact thrusting will tend to occur in and out of the condom which is lining the vagina rather than, or in addition to movement of the penis and condom together, in and out of the vagina.
Movement of the penis against the inside of the condom, rather than against the vagina, may result in a slight difference in sensation which causes men to prefer not
to use condoms "if they can get away with it".
Getting back to the "reservoir" story, it should be clear that the force of ejaculation though it can be quite impressive (spurting across the room) is not
sufficient to burst through a condom, especially when restrained within the vagina. Filling a condom with water is an illustrative and entertaining exercise (perhaps after intercourse?). The ejaculate simply collects at the end and runs back some distance alongside the penis. There is a concern that if thrusting persists too long following ejaculation, it may work its way all the way back to the open end of the condom and escape to the outside.
reason for leaving space at the end of the condom, as well as ensuring that the condom is fitted corresponding to the length of the inside surface of the foreskin (i.e., to match it being pulled back) "and then some", is to ensure that the condom will not be overly stretched during thrusting.
In particular, if the woman is not actually prepared
to be penetrated - her vulva needs to be thoroughly "wet" to the touch - or if she "loses the moment" during intercourse and her vagina dries out too much, there is a danger that a vigorous thrust with the condom tightly applied, will be resisted by the dryness of the vagina which will "grip" the end of the condom whilst the penis inside which is
lubricated (since the "pre-come" cannot all escape from inside in the same manner that lubrication is "wiped out" of the vagina by thrusting) will push through the tight end of the condom, rupturing it.
Now in your situation, if your foreskin simply will not retract at all
with an erection (and you need to explain whether it will do so when flaccid), then there is no conflict with the condom anyway, you just put it on leaving that "reservoir" space at the end. In fact, even if your foreskin could
retract, you could apply the condom with the foreskin forward, simply leaving extra
In either case, you should be careful when inserting your penis gently into your lady's vagina - but of course that is how you should be anyway! You ensure on insertion that everything is slipping in OK, including the loose end of the condom, and moves easily, before more vigorous thrusting, if only
because you want the experience to be pleasant for her. If there is any
doubt about her being sufficiently lubricated, you need to use a little "artificial" lubricant (sold wherever the condoms are sold) either on the outside of the condom, or placed in her vulva.
If you don't
use a condom, what problems could you get? Need I tell you? A paternity suit and/ or the risk of sexually transmitted disease.
And incidentally, the same risk of inadequate lubrication which might cause rupture of a condom, without a condom could also result in forcible retraction of your foreskin, particularly if it can
retract when flaccid. For this reason, it might be useful if you were to explain whether you can retract at all, and I must presume
that you have studied all the other threads her in great detail and will be embarking on a serious stretching program to resolve the phimosis?