Hi there,

Im 27 years old and I only just recently found out that my penis isn't "normal".

I have never been able to retract my foreskin back over the head of my penis, whether flaccid or erect. I thought this was completely normal for uncircumcised men, however, I now realize that it is not the case. All these years and i never knew!!!

I do not experience pain when having sex, although i do have to sometimes be a little bit more gentle, so as not to pull the foreskin back too hard, for fear that it might tear. Basically, there is no way the foreskin will pull back over the head, so too much pressure pulling back on it could cause damage. The diameter of the hole in my foreskin is usually about 10-12mm, however, after masterbating/sex/stretching, it does definitely stretch a bit, up to about 16mm, but still no way near enough for it to glide over the head.

I think it does affect my sensitivity though. Although it may sound good for some, I can usually last a very long time having sex. Sometimes too long! I think if i was able to pull the foreskin back, it would help me to climax more often.

I am not quiet sure what to do now. On one hand, i do not really experience any pain or discomfort from not being able to retract my foreskin, but i do need to be a little bit careful with it and make sure there is plenty of lube.

On the other hand, i think now that i know my penis is not "normal", I am a bit self conscious/embarrassed by it. I would like to be able to retract and maybe for it to be a bit more sensitive.
Yet i'm worried if i do begin these stretching exercises, that i will start experiencing pain when having sex, as the foreskin will be able to retract more, but still not enough to go all the way, and I will kind of be 'stuck in the middle' if you know what i mean.

To make matters worse, I've recently started dating a new girl, and I now know that im not "normal", so im a bit embarassed by it and not sure if i want to begin stretching exercises, that will then lead to painful sex, before hopefully leading to better sex further down the line.

So basically, I'm just a bit confused at the moment...to stretch or not to stretch...that is the question???


Cheers

Tony

What is causing your embarassment? Would this change if you could retract? Think along those lines, and your answer will come.

Your description of sexual encounters suggests non use of condoms. If you decide to start stretching, a condom would help to keep the foreskin in place over the head.

If there is no disease present, a stretching regimen would take about two months. That would require diligence, but it could be done.

Thanks Jim.

I would like to start the stretching and i think i should. It probably would make me less embarassed about it, and hopefully lead to better sex for me. But, since i have never been able to retract, it would be more than likely that i have a short FB, which would make sex more painful once i have stretched the foreskin. Im kind of just weighing up my options out aloud, and your opinions are appreciated.


Cheers

Tony

It won't necessarily be short. However, you can work on both the frenulum and the frenar band simultaneously.

Hi, I actually have a similar issue, my foreskin is not retractable in either states, flaccid or erect, my question is, is it ok to have the foreskin covering my penis when erect? I have yet to have sex so I am not too sure if it will hurt

any help appreciated =)

Actually, I am wondering whether you may have read a few posts - which are the individual little grey blocks on this page - or a few threads which are a whole page of "posts". There are ten threads on each index page, and quite a lot of index pages.

My point is that if you had read the entire contents of half a dozen index pages - which I suggest you do - then I should have hoped you would have found your answer, and much more information to boot!

In any case the situation is that - you masturbate (don't you?) and that surely does not hurt. You really should not imagine (vaginal) intercourse as some sort of violent act.

{I must suspect (simply on the basis of probabilities) you may have viewed video pornography on the 'net, and if you must do so, you need to have a very strong and solid understanding that what you are viewing is in fact mostly a fiction - a drama acted out to engender in you certain emotions and gain your attention for various motivations on the part of the publisher. It has negligible relevance to what you will or indeed should expect to experience in a relationship.}

There should not be such a difference between what you already do in masturbation, and what happens in intercourse, which essentially combines the intention of each to give a particular and special pleasure to the other. This does not by any means require violence and indeed if some aspect of it proves to be difficult, it is likely also to be painful and generally for both partners simultaneously.

Specifically, if you are unable to retract without an erection, then there is no risk of your foreskin being forcibly retracted (and injured) with an erection unless you (or your partner) are unbelievably heavy-handed - which I would presume you should already realise from your own experimentation.

If perhaps your query is whether it is "OK" for health or "hygienic" reasons that your foreskin does not retract, then this has been dealt with in recent posts. The compartment under your foreskin is generally quite able to look after itself as it has since birth, in the same way that a woman's vagina also looks after itself without external interference; and that, "external interference" is the critical point - the risk is in putting things - such as soap - there that should not be put there.

Finally, one might wonder whether a penis that is permanently covered by the foreskin will "function" normally. But you should not be asking this, because my betting is as I previously stated, that you already masturbate, and have thoroughly "tested" this function. Do tell me if this is not the case!

Hmmm, you seem to have the situation pretty well figured (in some details at least) - does this mean that you have actually done the deep reading into this site as I recommend?

Yes, if you do get into the stretching, then it is quite likely that you will at some stage be in the situation that forcible retraction, such as having intercourse with a young lady before she is adequately lubricated or if she is clumsy, might be painful. Of course Jim has pointed out that this is quite unlikely whilst wearing a condom and - since you (will) have had more than one sexual partner we do have to ask why or how you would would be having intercourse without a condom?

And - whilst forcible retraction might be painful, I would be rather surprised if you tore your foreskin proper, though you might tear your frænulum which is more delicate, for which reason you should be doing the stretching for that as well (or even before stretching the opening as it will take longer). Again, tearing the frænulum is no catastrophe, and I have posted the straightforward instructions for dealing with that eventuality on a number of occasions, as well as those for "paraphimosis" - a foreskin stuck in the pulled-back position.

We always suggest - the time is now. Of course do the stretching. Whether you actually need stronger stimulation is somewhat moot, but it will probably be of benefit.

My principled suggestion (because this is how I believe relationships should operate) is that rather than being "a bit embarrassed" (really - you are not too embarrassed to propose intercourse it seems), you involve her in the process as you proceed toward sexual involvement. Actually, I am quite curious as to whether your previous partners noted this apparent anomaly - that you were not "normal" - or have you only ever had intercourse in the dark with no foreplay?

Or can you perhaps reassure us that you always had the condom on before any part of them touched you? That I might credit, though I think it is just as much the young lady's task, to place the prophylactic personally.

Aggie.

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your response too.

Yes, i indeed have done a lot of reading on this site over the past few weeks, just trying to learn as much as I can about my situation and what options i have available to me.

I think i appear to be in a different sort of category to most on here, in that i have never been able to retract, flaccid or erect, and do not experience pain. Most others posting (as it seems to me anyway) seem to be able to retract while flaccid, yet are in that awkward phase were they can partially retract while erect, however they do experience pain. This is the phase that i'm worried about.

You did make me think with your comment about my previous partners. Yes, i've had previous sexual partners and had foreplay with all of them (sorry i cant reassure you that condoms were used from the very start....but thats another debate as far as i'm concerned) and it has never been mentioned by any girl i was with. I suppose if ive been walking around with this thing between my legs for 27 years and didn't know what it was supposed to do, then probably most girls wouldn't have a clue either!!!

Perhaps i shouldn't be so self conscious about it then and just let it be. Im not embarrassed by it to the point where i won't use it, however, it is on my mind.

Anyhow, thanks heaps for the replies. This is a great website for guys like us. And this has been great for me to be able to talk/write about my situation and get some feedback from 2 obviously very well informed and educated people on this very topic. I would be far too shy/nervous/embarrased(again!!) to speak about this with any of my friends, or even to consult a doctor. I know i shouldn't be, buts thats just me.


Cheers

Tony

Again, you seem to have a good grip, shall we say, on the "categories" of phimosis. There is indeed a very common category of men into which it seems you have accurately assessed yourself, who have a foreskin "muzzling" (the original meaning of the word "phimosis") their glans whether flaccid or erect. Except by comparison with someone who can retract, there is no reason for them to think this abnormal as it is perfectly functional. True, there may be some lack of sensation and consequent tardiness in ejaculating - except that many men with a perfectly "normally" functioning foreskin also have such troubles (perhaps just as many as complain of "premature ejaculation" in fact).

Of course, the prevalence of ritual circumcision means that those men so afflicted also have a problem with loss of sensitivity due to the continual exposure of their glans and obligatory chafing on underwear (or whatever they might in fact wear sans underwear). This is often compensated in youth at least, by a degree of mental excitement that relegates the actual physical stimulation to a minority role. To the extent that this "mellows" with age, such problems with sensitivity tend to progressively reveal themselves.

And you are correct that there is no immediate need to remedy the situation. What I would reiterate, is that you might begin now (and continue) with the frænulum stretching so that if and when you do decide to "beard the lion" and stretch the opening of your foreskin (which I do presume you will), you will not be (so) troubled as you see a number report here, with the more "finicky" task of lengthening the frænulum. And to start with, you probably should just "explore" the space inside your foreskin, and assess the nature of your frænulum, by introducing a small finger tip through the opening.

And of course, your assessment of the young ladies, "politically incorrect" as it may be, is probably quite accurate. It has often been observed in similar context that many - most? - of those who claim to "prefer" the "cleanliness" of a circumcised penis, actually have no idea of whether a penis is indeed circumcised or not.

Pardon me if my concern for the transmission of Sexually Transmitted Infections flavours my advice, but you must see that having more than one partner over your lifetime and certainly if you have more than two, is the singular behaviour that is necessary to make such infections possible.

"It can't happen to me", but the young lady who presented to me a few days ago with a minor complaint - I cannot mention exactly but quite young and technically below the "age of consent" (FWIW) - proves on review of the pathology tests today, to have such an infection which will require definitive treatment, subsequent review and invitation of her partner to present for treatment in consort (whether or not he has ever noticed any symptoms himself).

But she has only had one or two partners, and not over a very great period either.

I have the same issue i am 20 years old, my question is after reading quite a few post, is it ok to have my foreskin not retracting when erect?

Justin, you no doubt have more questions. Please start a new thread on the front page so we can address your situation personally.