Hi,
Its for the first time i am posting my problem (or am telling my problem) on internet...and nowhere better than this..My problem i suppose is of short frenulum...few months back i was absolutely unaware of this...i rarely rolled back my foreskin to clean my penis...i used to masturbate in a way that never required to roll back my foreskin..but in recent times i got to know what all is supposed to be done..so slowly i pushed back my skin and i got success...i thought that was it...but now there is this new problem...i have a short frenulum(i suppose)..because when i push back my foreskin(when flaccid)it completely goes back but when i retract my foreskin completely my penis head just bends in downward direction...and when in erect position my foreskin (with effort) just reaches the bottom of the head and does not go beyond that..so i guess i have short frenulum...by the way my age is 23...and i have a girlfriend with whom i have planned to have sex in the coming month...i dont want to disappoint here..i know its secondary but why i am saying this is because this is the reason why i am posting my problem..because neither i have problem with ejaculation nor with urination..my questions are :
1.) Can i really stretch my frenulum successfully? If yes then in how much time..
2.) Can i have sex with a condom on with this problem remaining unsolved?
3.) Its not a question but the thing is that i only have a month before i go and meet my girlfriend..after that i will meet her again after six months...so i need an urgent solution

Please i dont want to go through frenuloplasty(i am scared and i am too shy to tell my parents about this). I would greatly appreciate your kind effort to read through all this to solve a stranger's problem. I really need a solution.

Furthermore, a frenuloplasty will not be necessary. You can get through all of this with manipulation of the tissue.

Yes, you can have sex with a condom that should keep the foreskin forward, thus preventing retraction challenges.

Lengthening the frenulum sometimes takes a while, but it takes dedication no matter what. You must be fully committed to doing the exercises several times per day, every day. Here is a good way to start:

I understand when you say "sex is really not an emergency"...but do you mean that i should abstain from it when i meet her this coming month...
if i can ...can i really have sex in various positions like woman on top (and other)...
would it cause frenulum tear or something....??
does this regular stretching damage the nerve cells in the upper part of foreskin...?
does this cause stretch marks..??
what if i damage my frenulum during intercourse??
would i be able to reach orgasm with my foreskin not sliding back and forth (like others)..i know i can masturbate without the movement of my foreskin but can it happen the same way with intercourse also..?
it sometimes feels uncomfortable after i stretch (the way you have told)..is it normal??

It says that you can use a condom with the foreskin forward.

There should be no damage to the nerves unless you get too aggressive with your stretching. If you wear a condom with your foreskin forward, the frenulum should not be damaged. I suspect you won't have a problem with orgasms. Has this ever been an issue?

What kind of discomfort do you mean? Is there pain?

i am kind of ecstatic seeing you guys trying to solve my problem...its for the first time someone is helping me out regarding this...i have never taken experts' opinion in this matter...i appreciate your effort...now my real concern is can i adopt different positions or do i have to experience it by myself (and you wont be able to comment over that?)...the only reason why i am not telling my girlfriend is that she will really get worried ....she will keep this thing in mind all the time during our close encounter...and thats what i just do not want...she has had traumatic experience with sex in past(just one guy but a number of painful times..he was an a******)..sorry for that..i want her to give the best...i know she can reach orgasm with foreplay also..but she is really looking forward to try the real thing also..and she even dreams of riding me...plz tell me ..is this possible...??? i ant this to be memorable...so much that i am not even studying properly just because am so engrossed in this..and even i want to feel the same(cause its my first time)....

But i really want to tell you that i have been trying your stretching exercises since 3 days..and trust me when i say..IT WORKS...and big time..it might be so that its my early days..and its stretching right now...but i want to ask would it ever happen in future that it reaches saturation point and will not stretch anymore....

as for your question Jim...it seems a bit discomforting sometimes when i stretch..but there is no pain...i hope its normal...

again i want to thank every one of you who is contributing in this forum...its like a social service..god bless you all....

You will reach a plateau at which you'll think you're making no progress. When this happens, recognize it and continue applying tension. This is when the real work is being done by your body to increase the size of the opening. It's extremely important not to quit at that time. This growth doesn't happen overnight, so be patient with it.

If there is slight discomfort, that's good because it means you're at the limit. If you experience pain, back off.

Once you get the job done, there is no limit to what you can do. Please don't try to rush it. Meanwhile, if you use a condom, put it on with your foreskin completely forward to prevent its movement.

Is there a thread or anything that explains the exercises you need to do to lengthen your frenulum.

I have the same problem as the original poster in that when it is erect I can retract the foreskin to the bottom of the head, so the full head is visible but that's as far as the foreskin goes down, so it's all just lumped together.

I only realised I had this problem today after years of thinking it was normal. This really sucks, I'm really sad.

What you describe is actually quite normal, but if you wish to have more range, try this:

Perhaps Jim's explanation and picture are not quite explanatory.

You do what is shown in the picture. Specifically, you grip the lower part of the foreskin where the frænulum connects (which is the point where the frænulum disappears into the foreskin at the back of the "bunch" when you retract) and pull that forward, away from your body.

Now the question is, how do you do this? Do you do it just once? No. You do it at least three or four times each day, every day. How long do you do it for? Well, at least three minutes is a pretty good idea, five or ten more like it. It's OK to take a rest every few minutes, but it is the time you spend doing it that causes the stretching.

How hard do you do it? Hard enough so it feels uncomfortable, as if you are stretching it! But of course, not hard enough to actually tear it; that should be fairly obvious. And - you must understand, you will not see it stretch any further while you pull, that is not how it works, You are causing it to experience a need to grow, which will take in the order of weeks.

So, how long will it take to achieve the sort of lengthening you might want? Well, in general, a few months, stretching each day. It's not going to be quick. Anyone who has had orthodontic therapy with braces will have some idea of the timeframe - you don't expect that to be done in a week, but the principle is exactly the same. (In fact, orthodontic therapy is clearly even slower for the actual amount of movement because you are wanting bone to grow and remodel).

You say some funny things; you are "sad" and this "problem", "really sucks". I can't quite figure out why you had such a bad day as to suddenly and arbitrarily decide you had a "problem". Clearly if your foreskin does pull back behind your glans you are what we call "normal". It's as simple as that.

If you want to achieve a particular cosmetic effect so that your foreskin goes back further, well, by all means what I have explained is a very practical way to achieve it, no more onerous than say, body-building to give yourself bigger muscles. Just bear in mind that it is no more nor less than something that you have decided to do because it interests you to do so.

Incidentally, if you think about it, you can do this "exercise" without undressing. You can do it for a minute or so at least when you go to the toilet; that would be a minor matter. If you have a little privacy of having your lower body covered, you should be able to sit holding it for quite a length of time, inconspicuously whilst doing something else (other than keyboarding ).

Thanks for the two responses.

I'm confused why you think that what I have described is normal.

I thought that when you retract the foreskin while the penis is erect, normally the foreskin is supposed to lie back smoothly on the shaft. But like I said, mine only just retracts to the bottom of the head (and not with ease) and then won't go any further.

Plus I also have the situation where when I retract it if it's flacid, the forskin will retract fully, but the glans turns downwards. So I'm certain I've got a frenulum breve.

(P.S I also guess one of the reasons why I'm sad about it is because it's just one thing after another. I also have Fordyce Spots, plus also what I think are called pearly penile papules, so basically everything just seems wrong with it)

What you describe is normal. Having the foreskin lie flat along the shaft is just a variation, not necessarily one of which most guys can boast. Ideally, you probably should have a little more mobility, but it's not necessary for sexual enjoyment. It might prevent the frenulum from possibly tearing under stress.

The spot and papules are also quite normal. Think of them as built-in French ticklers!

Thanks again for your response. I have a few more questions. I hope you don't mind.

1. For the stretching exercise, do you actually have to hold the frenulum itself while stretching, or do you just hold the foreskin?

2. When can I expect to see results. I know it can take a while but I'm interested to know when to expect some sort of improvement, so at least I know that I'm not fighting a losing battle.

3. The stretching isn't going to stretch the actual penis is it? I say because when I stretch it the penis, as you would expect, goes longer and thinner, and I don't want to end up making the actual penis longer and thinner.

I have more questions but I don't want to throw a lot at you at once. Thanks again

You can do it either way, but I think you'll find it easier to hold just the end of the foreskin. Do what works.

Results will vary. I suspect you'll notice a slight difference within a week, but please don't give up if you don't. You'll need to be consistent with this. Do it often and do it daily. You will not be fighting a losing battle unless it's in your mind.

If the stretching actually lengthened the penis, every man on Earth would be doing this! No, as far as I know, the inner core of the penis will not be affected. The skin and mucosa will respond quite favorably.

As described previously, what you wish to be grasping is the point of attachment of the frænulum to the foreskin. The attachment at the other end is to the underneath of the glans which is a fairly substantial point, and indeed the "core" of the penis as Jim describes, is actually rather solid tissue as you can yourself discover by feeling it when it is completely flaccid (soft) - even then it can be felt to be quite thick, resembling the tendon of a muscle.

One fellow previously felt that his practice of frænulum stretching by pulling back had tended to stretch the meatus (urinary opening or "pee hole") and cause his aim when peeing to be affected unfavourably and I dare say that is quite a possibility, but pulling forward as we always describe is not going to do that and since the penis is clearly not going to stretch, you are getting the maximum tension on the frænulum and this will be the most effective.

You may be aware of a practice referred to as "Jelqing". As you will see from the (tongue-in-cheek, I feel) warnings presently in that article, there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that this can actually increase the size of the penis to any significant degree, not because stretching cannot actually occur, but because the tunica (casing) of the corpora cavernosae is so much more sturdy than the penile skin overlying it.

Without getting into too much discussion of penis size, I should be rather surprised if you were to really object to the scenario of your penis becoming longer as such though it is of course the case that having a penis substantially longer than the "standard" six inches is actually a problem as enthusiastic thrusting in intercourse will result in marked discomfort for the woman. Any stretching that did occur would in any case not cause the penis to become thinner; what you describe is simply that when flaccid, you are temporarily exchanging width for length as when pulling a piece of knitted material in one direction only; when the penis becomes erect however, it inflates evenly in all directions and this effect disappears (in fact, if it did stretch, it would become not only longer, but fatter!).

As for how long it will take, well again I give no guarantees. It all depends on what you do and as this fellow points out in another recent thread, you may think you are doing something, but may be deceiving yourself simply because you are not really doing it regularly and frequently, yet actually doing it with the genuine commitment may achieve surprising gains.

Yes, you are indeed confused, that is exactly the point I was making. You are confused because you have been reading all sorts of rubbish on the 'net. I am sorry about that, but that is simply "the way things are", and I cannot directly alter that. I am in no position to remove any of this rubbish from the 'net (nor is anyone else, least of all the Australian Government which presently proposes to censor the Internet to all Australians in the same fashion as China!). The only thing I can do as I sit here is to offer as a rational alternative, simple and straightforward suggestions in a way which I hope makes it easy to comprehend and perhaps, memorable, so I have a little fun sometimes in the way I state things; I dramatise a little and I deliberately provoke.

As Jim says, and we again repeat, the appearance you describe is essentially, normal. It is one extreme of normal, the other extreme being a frænulum which is almost absent so that the skin as you describe, lies back totally smooth - as you would see in Harmen's pictures, though of course in his case, this is very much not normal but the result of surgical interference.

As you accurately observe, the result of your short frænulum is that if you pull your foreskin right back when flaccid, the glans will tend to bend down. What else could it do? It is attached to the underside of the glans by your frænulum, because that is exactly how the frænulum is normally structured. This will happen to anyone (who still has a frænulum) if the foreskin is pulled back when the penis is flaccid, because then the glans is soft enough to be pulled easily. What will differ is how much tension, specifically applied to the under-surface of the foreskin, is necessary to produce this effect.

When on the other hand, you have an erection, then the glans is stabilised by the erectile bodies within, and there is minimal tendency to pull it down unless perhaps you pull quite firmly. And there's the point - of course it does not "bend" so easily when you have an erection, because that is exactly the point of having an erection - to make the penis rigid; resisting bending. If you have a less-than complete erection of course, then the glans will be more easily "bent" by pulling on the frænulum.

As Jim says, "a variation". I reiterate - you are entitled to wish you had more "play" (looseness) in your frænulum, and we heartily encourage you to stretch it to this end, but please take a more realistic view of it - your frænulum is "on the shorter side"; this is not a catastrophe, you claim to have had "years of thinking it was normal", I am most certain that you have been masturbating perfectly happily during those years, I suggest you should clarify whether you have in fact had sex with a partner and what sort of things you have done in this regard as I see little reason to think that this would have limited you significantly.

Now as to the Fordyce Spots and pearly penile papules, the same applies. Unless you have been reading rubbish Web sites (and in case you have not quite understood the import of this, there is absolutely no shortage of complete and absolute drivel posted on the web on otherwise nice colourful, entertaining pages so your comments on this matter do suggest you most likely have been reading rubbish), you should understand that these things are absolutely and completely normal parts of penile anatomy.

What is in fact not normal, is not to have the papules, as they appear to be something that is lost as a consequence of circumcision - that is, they are "proof" of having an intact rather than a circumcised penis.

Thanks again for the responses.

To add something else, whilst I've been reading about these things on the internet, I came across something called a 'phimotic ring'. This is the picture I looked at:

Now I've noticed I have this on my own penis. When I retract the foreskin whilst the penis is flaccid, I don't notice it. I notice it when I retract the foreskin whilst i'm about 3/4 erect (in which case it looks just like the penis in the link I provided).

Now as for when I retract whilst fully erect, I've mentioned that my foreskin only retracts as far as the bottom of the glans, and this 'phimotic ring' still appears to be present, only now it's just underneath where the foreskin is grouped together at the bottom of the glans.

So this got me thinking, is it the tightness of this 'phimotic ring' that is preventing my foreskin from retracting further, or is it a short frenulum. This has confused things now because I don't know what issue I have now, one or the other or maybe both.

Hopefully I've made myself clear.

--

To answer Paul B's question, no I have never had sex with a partner before, and in fact the issues i have now with frenulum's and whatnot is making me worry about it. I won't exactly be able to enjoy it if I do have sex because all that'll be on my mind will be hoping nothing breaks or tears. (Sounds like a great way to experience the first time)

Let's kick that term. The ring is actually the frenar band, and all intact men should have one. Yours is a little bit tighter than some are, but it's supposed to be there to close up the end when the foreskin is forward. In little boys it serves to prevent foreign substances from getting inside.

Your thinking is correct in that both the ring and the frenulum may be preventing further retraction. If it is your desire to change that, by all means, work on both issues.

I'm going to take a punt and suggest that the picture you pointed out (from Wikipedia) is not what your penis actually looks like!

That picture, which is of a "half erection" unfortunately showing only the top of the penis (as it is difficult to photograph any other view of your own penis ), shows the narrowing only with no suggestion of traction on the frænulum - the glans is clearly in a normal position, whereas you describe a distinct "pull" on the glans when you attempt to pull the narrow part back that far.

Is is clear (from your descriptions above) that you absolutely do need to practice the frænulum stretching as well as the stretching of the opening (which latter is comparatively dead easy). Please do tell me you have been doing both - frequently - since you started this conversation? In a sense, we know what we are talking about even without any discussion at all - if retraction does not occur in childhood, the frænulum is not caused to grow and will in almost all cases, be short.

As Jim says, we don't care about the term "phimotic ring", or indeed "phimosis". None of these these terms matter and they are counter-productive insofar as they cause people to begin to think of this as some sort of "medical" problem which has to be discussed at some length as a medical problem and needs "medical advice". That is why I keep saying - forget all the rubbish you are reading (and that includes Wikipedia - the pictures are nice, but the advice - text - has been deliberately subverted by sexual perverts), you just need to understand that you have a tight band of skin at the tip (or near the tip) of your foreskin which simply needs stretching - nothing more, nothing less - and because this has not happened during childhood, you have a second short part - the frænulum, which will require - no bones about it - a little more care in stretching.

I have to point out - it gets a bit frustrating for us to answer this question so many times. We know that this is virtually always the answer; the trouble is to make each fellow who comes here and (a feature of youth, of course) fantasises that he is for some reason not the same as everyone else but is "special", comprehend that he is indeed no different, that the "stock" answer we give to cover everyone, is the precise answer for him just as for all of the others. Of course we hope there are (literally hundreds of) other, "silent" readers who come, get the message, go off and get working on their problem. It is for them that we do this.

---

I have to chuckle at the concern that "nothing breaks or tears". Whereas the common use of tampons has virtually exterminated this in practice, traditionally there is an expectation when young ladies first experience intercourse, that something will tear!

---

{There is a reason why the picture DB posted didn't show but don't sweat it - I have compensated for it! }

The only stretching I've been doing is the frenulum stretching. I haven't done any stretching of the opening as you say. I can easily get two fingers into the opening of the foreskin, with probably enough space for a third, so I never thought that would need stretching, although the tight band I get when retracting while erect suggests otherwise maybe. So I'm not familiar with the exercises needed for stretching the opening.

As for the tight band that I have, if I follow it around it connects up to the frenulum at the bottom of the glans, as opposed to actually going round in a simple circle and connecting back to itself. Not sure if that's to be expected.

(Sometimes I think it would be easier if I just took some pictures, it would make it clearer that me trying to explain in words, but I really don't think people want to see that)

Oh yes, as you see, if you are getting the narrowing or "neck-ing", then you clearly do need to stretch the opening. This is going to be dead simple for you as you already indicate you have been practicing getting the two fingers in. Just put them in so you feel the tight part, and pull outward on it. That's as "familiar" as you will need to be.

I have come to the conclusion that having one problem and not the other would be quite unusual and for all intents and purposes, you - or anyone else who comes here - may as well assume you have both problems, and therefore should be doing both stretches. Since the frænulum stretch is the more tedious, I put considerable emphasis on starting it immediately.

There is another aspect to this however, as you have observed, the frænulum and the foreskin "ring" are not separate but essentially, joined. It's a sort of "noose" and the more you stretch the "ring", the less the tightness of the frænulum matters as it is only the attachment to the foreskin that actually pulls on it. If there is plenty of "slack" in the foreskin, then the frænulum will not be stressed except insofar as it "drags" during intercourse in which case it is necessarily indicating a failure of lubrication (and that is equally likely to cause irritation and soreness for the young lady, so it is something to be avoided on all counts).

Pictures are nice, but we have had trouble with them being posted on dodgy servers where they are censored when someone takes a dislike to intelligent communication (and that is pretty common). In fact, we know exactly what you mean, so it isn't really a problem either way, but I would at some stage like to find a picture of the "fingers in the opening" exercise posted on a reliable site which we could then use to illustrate it.

Thanks again.

As for the stretching the opening, should I do that at the same frequency I do the frenulum stretching (which I currently do about 4 times a day for 10 minutes each) or does it have it's own set of rules? Incidentally, I haven't seen any improvement yet after about 10-14 days, so I don't even know if this is going to work

Secondly, something I've wondered. If I never had any problems with retraction then I assume I would be able to get another inch or more of retraction when erect as opposed to only getting as far as the bottom of the glans. So does this mean than my frenulum in an inch or more shorter than it should be? That sounds like an awful lot.

Also when you say:

" If there is plenty of "slack" in the foreskin, then the frænulum will not be stressed except insofar as it "drags" during intercourse in which case it is necessarily indicating a failure of lubrication "

what exactly do you mean? I'm a bit confused

You must persist until results are achieved. It does work, and it will work. When you do the stretch on the frenulum, do you feel stress being applied to it? I don't mean pain, but there should be some slight discomfort. I don't think you'll need to add an inch to its length in order to make your goal. Yes, that would be a lot.

Do you mean you've been working on the ring two weeks? What exactly are you doing to it?

To answer your questions:

When I stretch the frenulum I don't feel any pain. Infact I find it difficult to feel any real discomfort. I seem to be able to stretch a long way without any feeling (not sure if this may be because I'm losing the grip on the frenulum and as a result I'm just pulling on the foreskin instead)

And I meant I had been doing the frenulum stretching for 2 weeks. I've been doing opening stretching for about a week now. I put 2 fingers in and feel for the tighter area and pull to the sides.


Now for some quick questions of my own:

- Is it normal for the frenulum to become sore due to the stretching? Mine is fine if it's left alone, but it can become sore if touched and stretched.

- Is there a best time to do the stretching? I've seen others suggest during warm baths, or even whilst erect.

- I assume for the stretching you stretch it and then hold it in that position. Is this correct, as opposed to quick movements along the lines of stretch, relax, stretch, relax, etc



Paul B, what exactly do you mean by 'friction'

Thanks

If you're gripping the bottom end of the foreskin, that's where the frenulum is attached, so you'd have to be stretching the frenulum. I suppose it could get somewhat sore if manipulated enough. Try not to traumatize it. A warm bath or shower should help a little bit as the skin tends to relax a little bit. Ever notice how your penis shrivels in the cold? Yes, holding it in position would tend to give better results.

When you pee, take a couple of more minutes to do this simple stretch.

In referring to friction, I mean exactly the same as the technical description; the drag that is felt when rubbing across a surface. On the penis - or clitoris - only the tiniest bit of drag is pleasant, beyond that tiny bit, it becomes most unpleasant because compared to your hand or indeed most other parts of the body, the mucosal surfaces in question are quite delicate and easily irritated.

You can easily verify this by sliding a finger across your own glans while exposed - it won't feel good (unless you use a good lubricant). Because circumcised men however have much reduced sensitivity due to the constant exposure of their glans and - yes - friction against clothing, they generally tolerate a greater degree of friction even to the extent of needing it to increase sexual stimulation, with in consequence some bizarre practices such as "dry sex" (which is likely to have a significant, but infrequently acknowledged implication for the spread of HIV/ AIDS in Africa).

In this respect, I was making a point against one of the standard mythologies of the circumcision advocates in case you were to come across it on on of those sites, that there is a need to have the corona "exposed" so that it can "feel" (or be felt by) the vagina during intercourse - as if it is actually possible for the glans, let alone the vagina, to distinguish between such subtleties.

Again, what is pleasant about intercourse, is the ability of the vagina to envelop the whole of the glans quite uniformly and convey ripples of pressure, not friction, to it (and in general, the ability of the vagina to exert more pressure, is quite desirable). If or to the extent that there is inadequate lubrication, the ability of the foreskin to move over the glans and not abrade the vagina, is a tremendous advantage to both participants. And of course, for masturbation, this ability to reduce friction and "even out" the pressure applied (to make it more closely resemble that in intercourse) is extremely important if not absolutely essential.

Getting back to the stretching (), there is little harm in not getting the exact grip on the frænulum - stretching the area beyond it will be just as beneficial. Some tenderness as a result of stretching is to be expected and the fact that it is tender afterwards rather than while stretching is probably just as good an indicator of effectiveness.

The "best time" is clearly whatever time allows you to do it frequently and for the longest. For the frænulum stretch, an erection is neither help nor hindrance, but it may make it a little more difficult to get the fingers inside to do the opening stretch. As long as you can get the fingers in however, that is just fine.

The idea is to hold each stretch for as long as possible. It is the consistency of the tension that "signals" the tissue to elongate, short brief tugs actually convey the opposite "signal"; to toughen up the tissue. Of course, your fingers do get tired and need a rest every so often, so just do what you reasonably can.

I see, so it is okay just to grip the end of the foreskin and stretch that way. I thought you mentioned to try to grip the actual frenulum.

So the stretching of the frenulum causes new cells? Well hopefully it adds them in the correct place. By that I mean you would want them around the immediate area where the frenulum is connecting between the glans and the foreskin, as opposed to the part where the frenulum continues on along the foreskin. If the cells were added atto the latter, that would not help.

(I have a feeling that paragraph may not make any sense, hard to explain)


Incidentally, I would assume drag and friction would be an issue for circumsised men, because surely the entire intercourse is made up of that?

Wherever the cells are added will lengthen the little guy, and that's all that is important.

Circumcised men do indeed depend heavily upon friction. As they age, it becomes increasingly a problem to get enough friction to trigger the orgasmic response. Restoration of the foreskin can help to overcome that problem.

No, not only do you not need to grip the frænulum itself, but - you actually cannot in any case!

You wish to stretch the whole of the frænulum so you need to grip the ends - which means you grip slightly beyond the end where it merges into the foreskin. And indeed, if you stretch the foreskin at the end of the frænulum, it doesn't matter at all since all you wanted was the length so that all the rest of the foreskin moves back. As long as the tension on the foreskin is reduced, you have what you want.

And - there is no need whatsoever to grip the end of the frænulum that is attached to the underneath of your glans as it is already "gripped" for you - it is held by your penis and your penis is attached - quite firmly - to your body and it won't be going anywhere.

Circumcised men are limited (in a number of ways). What I have been saying is that friction - the sideways "dragging" of the skin - is not very pleasant, and that intercourse actually involves plenty of lubrication. This is quite frequently a problem because anyone not in a permanent relationship (which means, lifetime and essentially equates to marriage with the commitment necessary to raise children,) should on all occasions, be using a condom because this is the only form of contraception that actually minimises the transfer of Sexually-Transmitted Diseases (because these are by definition diseases that can and will, except for those few that are treatable, last for a lifetime and may therefore be passed on for many years), and the condom is a great "equaliser" because it virtually reduces all men to the situation of the circumcised - a uniform covering that does (or should) not slip over the penis during thrusting.

Now actually, the condom does in both circumcised and intact men, slip over the penis, because men generally produce fairly generous amounts of pre-ejaculatory lubrication ("pre-come") and the condom very effectively prevents this from being lost, so it just gets more and more slippery inside; once this lubrication extends to be base of the condom, it is very easy for the condom to slip completely off (and that, even before ejaculation).

On the other "side", the condom - or a circumcised penis - sliding in and out of the vagina tends to move such vaginal lubrication as the lady produces, outwards, particularly given the corona or "flare" of the back of the glans - it's rather like the piston in a bicycle pump which is designed to pump air preferentially in one direction (for those who understand bicycle pumps ). Indeed, some people suggest that this represents a "competitive" advantage for a subsequent partner inseminating a woman, to "pump out" the remaining semen from a previous encounter. (I actually think this is a little far-fetched, without going into all the reasons, but it is something to muse upon!) Having a "collar" of foreskin which tends to stay at the vaginal opening on the other hand, tends to "seal" the lubrication in.

These then are the mechanics of lubrication in intercourse. Women tend to be a little "skittish" in continuing to be sufficiently enthused during intercourse, to lubricate generously (and even more so with age it would seem), and so you need all the "help" available with lubrication during intercourse. Of course, there is always the "artificial" or "personal" lubricants marketed for just this purpose (and in fact, a few others), and it is highly recommended that it be used when a condom is employed both for comfort (and particularly for the woman) and to minimise the two failure modes of condoms (which are - the condom is held inside the vagina when it is insufficiently lubricated to slip out on the out-stroke; or the condom fails to slip into the vagina on the in-stroke because it "sticks", but as the penis slips easily on the inside, it applies all the pressure to the very tip and bursts through.)

Of course these things are all relative - an enthusiastic woman who lubricates generously will still fare well with a circumcised or condom-wearing partner.

To be honest, stretching the frænulum may take months. If that sounds a long time, well, consider how long it takes to obtain a (genuine) University degree.

Of more relevance, consider that some circumcised men decide to "restore" a foreskin by stretching the penile skin they have, using various devices for continuous (or at least a substantial proportion of the day) stretching. This does take months and years but - it works as long as they keep at it.

Yes, the proportion to which you need to stretch your frænulum is greater than the degree to which you need to stretch the foreskin opening - at least in your case. It will take time.

What I mean in respect of "slack", is that if you stretch your foreskin so that it is loose, then pulling your foreskin back will not pull on the frænulum so much as it will be that part of the foreskin to which the frænulum is attached that will tend to be stretched when you do so.

As to having intercourse, it needs to be understood that friction is not, contrary to some mythology, desirable and the foreskin does not need to be pulled back further than to expose the glans. It is suggested that the "corona" - the rolled-over "rim" at the back of the glans is particularly sexually sensitive (though this is possibly because as a projection, it is subject to more pressure and friction than any other part) and that it is desirable that this be uncovered during intercourse to be "fully" stimulated, but as long as the foreskin can be pulled back to uncover the corona, then it will be stimulated. Stimulation by friction is however for the most part unpleasant and rapidly leads to soreness.

What is pleasant, is the rapidly changing pressure applied to the corona (and glans in general) by the "rugae" of the vagina - the circumferential "ripples" in the lining which "bump" over the glans during each thrust (and which are imitated in commercial artificial vaginas or "simulacra"). Pressure is desirable but friction is not, so lubrication is most important and if lubrication is adequate, the foreskin will not be dragged back excessively, so there is no need to be concerned about whether the foreskin retracts "fully" and smoothes out, what you should be concerned about instead, is ensuring adequate lubrication.

Just a muse on Jim's "Sex is really not an emergency".

Let me tell you a secret - I was a "young feller" once, and had places to go, things to be achieved - as soon as possible. (I'm pretty sure Jim was a "young feller" once too! ) OK, it's not entirely a secret, is it?

You feel you must get this sorted out or you will be ruined for life, must have sex soon. Maybe you read a statistic somewhere that people who start having sex younger tend to keep on being sexually active later in life. I have seen that somewhere, albeit a long time ago but like all "statistics", what it really means and whether it means that what you choose to do now will guarantee anything later on, is not so obvious.

What is important, is that you examine the consequences of the relationship that you have with any prospective life partner. That is what will impact on whether you are still enjoying life when you are much older - like Jim and myself and at least your present lifetime and a half more into our future.

I've said it before - often - here. If you are serious about the relationship with your girlfriend, you will involve her in your "problem". The most important aspect of relational sex is the "exploration" part; indeed it may perfectly suffice for the whole of any sexual encounter and (commonly referred to as "foreplay") must always precede each attempt at intercourse. If you miss out on this, your relationship will not only be "long distance", but "short-term".

You haven't stated whether your girlfriend has ever had intercourse with anyone else, you obviously imply you have not, but even if neither of you ever have, and particularly because you clearly do not wish the slightest risk of pregnancy (which is a risk unless she is using a "guaranteed" contraception such as Implanon® and not just "the pill"), then you clearly will be using a condom by the time your genitals touch. Granted that you understand that your girlfriend needs to be thoroughly wet (slippery) to the touch before you were to gently enter her, and continue in a gentle fashion according to her directions, then matters should proceed entirely comfortably and pleasurably.

Oh yes, short frænulum? Well, that's the minor detail. Do the stretch Jim illustrates; it's really the only way to do it. Do it as often as possible, for a reasonable time - a few minutes at least - as you can. If you do that for six months, you really should have something to show.

hi again..
i hope all of you are doing great...well i have been stretching since last 4 days...and i do see some improvement infact my penis somewhat like you have shown in foreskin.org but there are still few questions i need to ask..

1.) my foreskin kind of sticks to the head...and especially the lower part...its neither painful nor too sticky but its somewhat not so 'smooth'....so is it a case of some infection(like yeast)....can i do something about it...and by the way i do wash it twice a day...and whenever i pull it back down the lower part of head i can see some kind of white substance(probably smegma)...and if i let it stay that way...it dries up and starts to peel off on its own...

2.) my foreskin does not come back on the head after retraction...my question is : is it due to a bit tight foreskin or short frenulum???

3.) my last question is more of an inquiry...when my penis is flaccid...it takes different sizes...sometimes it is really small...like an inch or something...but sometimes it is like 3 inches(without i being aroused)...whats the reason for this variation..is it normal...and when it is like somewhat 3 inches long(even when flaccid) the tip of my penis(and some area around it) is always visible...making it dry..what should i do..


hope you can answer my not so bright but inquisitive queries...even if you dont... thank you for being there...god bless you...

Quit washing twice a day. There is nothing in there so dirty that you have to do that. The white stuff is indeed smegma, and it does no harm.

Some foreskins will return over the head by themselves, and some won't. They have a mind of their own I suppose.

Penises very definitely have a mind of their own. Size varies according to temperatures, moods, and stimuli. If you'd like your foreskin to be longer, you can lengthen it by pulling outward, using the same disciplines you're using to increase the size of the opening.