http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Apclo8aJr5neZHKeNIqVSFrsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090623031709AAPqWEs

read this. the person answers my question and tells me that masturbating through the clothes and/or using a rubbing like technique is damaging the foreskin.
The case is that i almost always did it this way. (so for years, like 8 or so)
So could that be something that makes my foreskin so tight? or is it just naturally tight.
i'm close to 18 if you have to know
did a lot of stretching usually by just holding the skin back (which kind of started irritating my glans after stretching a lot). i don't do the thing where you put 2 fingers behind the skin because of lack of privacy.

Had you used a technique such as what other boys use, we most likely wouldn't be having this converstaion. As the other Jim has stated, by the ten or early teens, most boys can retract fully. However, that doesn't make you a freak. I call it a late bloomer.

If you wish to achieve full retraction, you'll have to invest the time. Everyone can find some privacy somewhere, so you'll need to get creative. The two finger thing works.

Are you using any soap to wash the inside of your foreskin?

no i don't use anything except water to clean it.
I've been trying to stretch for 2 years or more now and i need to start over every day.

What do you mean by "trying to stretch?"

That was the thesis of Joycelyn Elders - one wonders whether with the advent of the Obama administration, she might finally receive an official apology for the abominable way she was treated on this and many other counts (no doubt, including her colour)? Sadly, America has probably not really advanced so far.

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Wim, our previous discussion with you has proven extremely frustrating, as you have never confirmed that you have actually implemented any of the advice given on this discussion board. You have only ever described pulling your foreskin back, but do not mention using any of the actual positive stretching techniques we have described. As I have repeatedly pointed out, merely pulling the foreskin back, whilst it is the normal way that the foreskin becomes functional during childhood (and indeed during masturbation), it is by no means sufficient to effect stretching in these difficult cases, even if practiced for many months as you claim to have done.

There is absolutely no use visiting another and yet another discussion board, asking the question repeatedly and searching for "novel" ideas, if you are not going to implement the simple, straightforward steps necessary to resolve the problem,

You have consistently been a bit hazy on the details, but it seems that you can in fact, retract while flaccid and visualise your whole glans. On this basis, you should be able to get at least two little fingers in through the opening of your foreskin (whilst pulled forward) and stretch in this fashion, which will prove far more effective than simply retracting. If this thing that we have been advising from the beginning, but yet find you say you are not doing it "because of lack of privacy", well clearly you are simply wasting everyone's time, ours, everyone else who answers your questions in good faith, and for what it is worth - your own.

Nevertheless, you have relieved me on one point - since I know what is effective in achieving what you claim to want; I know that it works, effectively and would be most worried if it proved not to. It seems you are simply saying that it has not worked for you because you simply are not doing it. There is in that case really no way I can help you further.

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Now as to this matter of masturbation technique, there is some truth in it, and some "hype". Masturbation by "humping" may or may not actually be a "minority" practice. It is even possible that it is a majority practice amongst (young) girls because it avoids touching the vulval area and deflects guilt that parents may have inculcated. It can be seen as "natural"; imitating intercourse and indeed flows on to the mutual practice of "dry humping" to orgasm. It is quite possible that this form of masturbation is employed by at least 10% of young boys and is perhaps the easiest way to "discover" masturbation by oneself while being difficult to demonstrate to someone else, it is more likely that if one is shown masturbation by another, the form that will be demonstrated will be stroking by hand.

The suggestion that this sort of masturbation is "damaging" needs to be looked at very critically. As I have recently pointed out, it is possible to "burn" the skin during masturbation by vigorous friction, and yes, if you were to do that repeatedly, you would no doubt develop callousing similar to that on hands and feet from constant use. But the aftermath of doing such a thing is generally sufficiently unpleasant as to warn against repeating it.

It is interesting that "humping" is quite common also amongst circumcised boys (I think you can find references to this on JackinWorld) as are other practices involving dry friction. The exposed glans consequent to circumcision necessarily becomes much less sensitive and so tolerates (but not necessarily with comfort) friction that would be immediately painful to an intact fellow.

The real advantage of an intact foreskin, even if (or perhaps especially if) it is not retractile, is that it has a range of movement over the glans, so that you can employ the "humping" motion without the skin actually moving against bedding (or clothing), and if there is no actual abrasion, then there is no reason to suspect that there would be any damage to the foreskin. You should be able to judge for yourself whether what you practice involves your foreskin actually moving against material, or in fact being gripped by the material so as to be moved against your glans.

Now as to the suggestion that you might be damaging the cavernous or spongy bodies in your penis, it again holds that whatever you might do to risk this, should be immediately self-evident and frankly painful. I cannot see that you would willingly do such a thing (to your willy ). Injuries to the corpora cavernosae do happen but usually involve a partner's clumsiness with full body weight applied. This is a far cry from you carefully positioning yourself prone on your bed, and virtually impossible to inflict with your hand by any form of accident. And I doubt that you have even tried pushing your penis down to "hump" as this is neither comfortable nor pleasurable.

What is plausible, is that when practicing "humping", you do in fact modify your movements specifically to avoid retraction, since even partial retraction will cause your very sensitive glans to come into contact with the dry material against which you are rubbing, so in this way you are discouraging retraction. From the opposite viewpoint, having a tight foreskin that will not retract actually makes it easier to masturbate by humping, since it permits much more forceful thrusting without the sensitive glans being exposed in such a fashion.

If you think about it carefully, you do not thrust or slide against against the bed with the opening of your foreskin perpendicular to the material, so that part is not the part that would be subject to friction and potential injury. What you actually do (or tell me if it is otherwise) is to thrust with your penis "sandwiched" between your body and the material so the part of your foreskin that is rubbed is that part over the underneath of the glans, and that is not the tight part.

All in all, I think that the explanation of "damaging masturbation habits" is quite clever, but simply misguided and a gross extrapolation of the simple observation that some learned masturbation habits simply do not favour retraction.

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What you need to do, is to simply accept the straightforward advice we have previously given. Masturbating with your hand in the "conventional" (but not necessarily the "correct" or only "proper") manner may well facilitate this, but if you can find the time - and privacy - to masturbate, then you can certainly find the time and privacy to properly stretch.

I agree with 3th part. Where you tell about the masturbation technique etc and also the last small part.
I didn't ask for the first part though, neither did i say anything about not using the recommended techniques, i just wanted to know if the masturbations was making it all worse...

So i'm not trying to waste anybody his time neither my own.
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But it looks like you don't believe i don't have privacy... i'll explain you.

I do the kind of dry masturbation (so through my pants) because it's easy to hide, as soon as i hear someone will be entering the room i just let go and i act as if i'm doing something else.
While being masturbating with a naked bottom would be waaaaay harder to hide if you get what i mean.
So masturbating is easier than stretching, because i don't think you will win anything by attempting to stretch with your clothes on :D

And going to often to the toilet is also not very unsuspicious.

Well, there are a few things about this privacy matter which I can't quite accept. I must presume you masturbate to orgasm, and when you orgasm, you ejaculate. At that point, it is generally rather difficult to conceal what is happening if someone happens to walk in on you, granted that it is quite possible to do it silently even though many people would consider that a bad habit to adopt (as it tends to limit your expression when later in a relationship situation). Ejaculating in your pants is rather messy, and tends to be - rather - obvious, so clearly you have to make arrangements for that and I conclude that if you can, it should be no more difficult to arrange yourself in such a way that you can do the stretching that will actually achieve something.

Basically - and I have made this comment in regard to stretching the frænulum - you should be able to get your hands into your pants and your fingers into position for the stretch. I don't think it is entirely impossible in this necessity to learn to get two fingers of one hand into your foreskin to stretch, leaving the other hand free (presumably, to use a keyboard?). It should be just as easy to do this as to arrange yourself in a position to masturbate, and if anything, easier as once you set up the position, you don't actually need to move anything.

And on the same basis, I cannot quite imagine what sleeping arrangements would prevent you from doing this whilst in bed; since you do not need to continue moving, you can surely do the stretching even if you share a bedroom, indeed even sharing a bed!

As to the toilet, unless you must do this in public, you must go a certain number of times in the day and it would not be unreasonable to stretch for ten to twenty seconds (in fact, whatever time you claim you already spend practicing retraction) on the occasions you do, performing the effective stretching. Do you also bathe/ shower in public, so that you cannot stretch even for a minute then?

That is the basis for my comment. You say you have been concentrating on retracting, holding the foreskin back. This is essentially time wasted. What you need to do is to forget about the retraction, get serious about stretching, practice it and spend all the time you might have used in retraction (plus dare I say it, the time you waste trawling the Internet for alternate "answers",) however much or little time that is, doing the effective stretching.

In fact you did ask for my comments - except perhaps those regarding Joycelyn Elders, which refer to the more general topic of masturbation which you introduced and which was in the article you referenced. But there is actually no point discussing masturbation if it is not the problem. It has become clear from all your previous enquiries, that you are not doing the single, straightforward thing you need to do and yet continue to complain that "it's not working". That is therefore, what we have to point out - until you actually do it, you will remain disappointed.

You sound kind of pissed to me...
Well i just wanted to know the ADDITIONAL info to know if i had to quit that technique because it was harmful. That was ALL i had to know and ALL i asked for.
If you think i'm wasting everyones time then please don't answer questions i didn't ask
Thanks annyways, it is useful(!)

Good afternoon Wim, you should get used to the fact that jim and paul b, the excellent advisers here, will just get bored of you if you are not talking clearly. Then, you will have to go off and try to communicate all over again.

The great thing about the internet is that everyone can generally express their opinion, no matter how abrasive it can be.
It is great in that people can establish their own domain and run it how they want to.

No single-agendas etc..

It's all about freedom of speech (unless it's totally pointless)

This site is literally dealing with man's most important asset (for almost all men, I believe)

When you come here, you must post in detail, don't leave anything unturned. Post it all.

If there is a communication issue, then it CAN be resolved, eventually, but you have been posting on here since december 2008 and you still have not resolved the issues that seem to be unclarified.


This is a co-operative board run by 2 educated, intelligent people.
If I was in charge I would be less tolerant of you, but then, that's why I choose not to have a domain on the internet because I tend to REACT a little bit too personally.

Anyway. peace and let us establish a good rapport and harmony. I prefer peace and harmony as it's more beneficial to all.

I understand that.
It's just that i'm asking a question and almost every time i got a question from them back or even info (not only from jim and paul i mean) that i didn't ask.
Ofcourse it's very nice to get more info than you ask, but most times it goes slightly of topic and my real question doesn't really get solved and it always ended up i need to stretch more, although sometimes the question didn't really have to do with stretching...

I guess i'll just get circumsized... (j/k)

And i don't know why they would get so pissed by me, but if it's because i start 'too many threads' then i say it's better to start different ones so people can see answers on specific questions instead of reading anothers whole lifepenisstory
But i guess that's not why since you say i'm not detailed enough. Well, what can i say, i told everything and actually i didn't get much support, only the bash i'm not stretching correctly.

Maybe i should've used another name and my answers were answered like i wanted it :D

Win, in the amount of time you've been farting around asking questions instead of doing what was advised either to you or to others, you could have solved your problem. This isn't a place for people to hang out just to get their egos petted. You came with a problem. If we ask a question, it's to clarify a point. Straightforward questions need straightforward answers. It's that simple. Even more simple is just doing the exercises. My advice is for you to stop your whining or trying to figure us out. We're both mature, professional men who donate our time to you. We don't have to do this, but we like doing it. However, enough is enough.

i actually wasn't the person starting to whine...
i didn't ask for a whole preach about me being not detailed and not doing the right exercises. I wanted an answer and i got it.
That's all. You don't know how bad the tightness is, although i DID say it.