I was wondering I am 36 years old and the last 2 times I have received oral sex. The foreskin of my penis slid down over the head and this was very painful and also it bled very bad. This really scared me and I was wondering what to do a friend of mine suggested getting circumsized but I want to explore all options before I make a decision.

What do you mean when you say the foreskin slid down over the head? Is that the first time it ever happened? Can you retract the skin when your penis is soft or hard? What was bleeding--exactly where? There is a little connecting skin on the underside near the pee hole. Is that what bled?

For now, don't worry about a circumcision. You don't have anything fatal, but we do need more details to sort out the problem.

Yeah its underneath right below the pee hole where I was bleeding from and yes this was the 1st time it had slid down over the head but both times it done it, it bled very very bad. I cannot retract the skin but I can get 2 fingers in the end of the foreskin but im more concerned over the bleeding.

It sounds very much like you snapped your frenulum. That's the little web of tissue which connects the foreskin to the shaft right under the peehole. In your case, since you had not previously retracted, not only the foreskin opening was tight, but the frenulum as well.

Getting two fingers inside gives you a big headstart on stretching. Get started on making the opening larger. As long as you don't aggravate or on the other hand baby the torn part, you should be alright. Try not to have sex for a while until the foreskin can retract easily or only with a condom holding your foreskin forward over the head. In fact, you should be using condoms at all times if you are young and single. Don't believe the girl about anything. You have to provide protection.

I also suggest that you start doing the frenulum stretch, even if it's still healing. Just don't tug too hard at first and break open the wound. By working the area, you'll prevent scarring. Take hold of the foreskin in the area where it bled and pull it out away from your body. Hold it there for five minutes if you can. Do this twice a day. Also, each time, after you pee, do it again as long as privacy permits. Let me know how your penis reacts to this. If you cause any bleeding, back off right away and apply pressure to the wound, then lay off for a couple of days.

OK, I have to say it - your "friend" is an idiot!

Of course, people do say foolish things from time to time, for various reasons. Let's just say for starters that your friend has no idea about what he is talking. Or at least, you hope so, because if he (presumably, he) did have some comprehension of what "circumsizing" is and he suggested it, he would be much less than any sort of "friend" you would ever want.

Let's consider three of the more likely scenarios:

1. He's not circumcised himself which is to say more correctly, he's intact. He's lucky - as are you - but also like you, haven't really thought in depth about having a foreskin. He doesn't realise just how important his foreskin is in providing him with sexual pleasure; he just uses it and everything just - works - in a sexual sense.
   
   
2. He was circumcised as an infant, which he doesn't recall, at least consciously. Things don't work quite as well as they should but - how would he ever know? He's never known it any other way (how could he?), and let's be frank, sex (of all sorts, including masturbation and oral sex) is really very enjoyable so - "better" sex is not at all easy to imagine.
   
   
3. Another possibility, but not anywhere near as likely this time - he was circumcised later in life because he - or more likely his parents - felt he had a "problem" with his foreskin, which worried him (them) a lot. He or they went to a "doctor" who really didn't understand the actual problem, but suggested cutting off two thirds of the skin of his penis would fix it, so that was done and everybody felt much better because the "problem" had gone.
   
   This possibility is not so likely as adults who have experienced sexual activity - even masturbation - are usually fairly observant about the experience and studies performed by ethical researchers show that adult men who are circumcised because of a "problem" with the foreskin are mostly not pleased with the effect on sexual function, even if they are pleased that their "problem" has been improved (although these studies also showed that most of them were not even convinced that the actual problem itself had been improved!).

There are even more bizarre possibilities - some men actually choose to be circumcised - or to convince others to be circumcised as a sort of "fashion" (or "fetish") preference not dissimilar to tattoos, piercings and the other more severe forms of "body modification".

I should be rather interested to know in which of these categories your friend falls. I should be interested to know also whether you actually understand for example that circumcision means removal of your foreskin, both inner and outer, comprising a good two thirds of the skin on your penis (as demonstrated here), and why you would imagine that surgically cutting away a large area of skin could somehow make sense in dealing with a problem where some small part of it happens to tear?

Why do I put it this way? Well, essentially because I think your first problem is that you are worried about this little problem (which isn't really surprising of course ) to the extent that you simply can't think straight. You have certainly done the right thing by coming here for information (Good work! How did you find us, by the way?), Jim has given you the important directions, so if you do that and read a lot of the previous threads "mining" for more information, you will be put on the "right track" and learn more things about your penis that I think you had imagined but the point is if you don't know about these things, you can't make the sensible decisions.

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Now I (we) are curious about a couple of other things, we don't want to know your identity or anything but it would be interesting to know in what country/ region you are and what people are like there. Also, it is rather interesting that you are all of 36 and have not encountered this problem before - perhaps you could explain what sort of sexual experiences you have had and whether you noticed problems with them before now. We are really serious about the idea of condoms because unless you explain otherwise, I doubt you are really prepared for all the "complications" of ("accidental") fatherhood or indeed, sexually transmitted diseases and condoms are the only common solution on these counts.

Oh yes, oral sex! Well, that does reduce the risk of fatherhood, but one wonders why the lady was so "ham-fisted" as to injure you? Did you discuss this with her?