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Phimosis and Relationships

May 18 2012 at 2:05 PM
  (Login CaptainMurd0ck)

Recently I found out that I have phimosis. I believe it is mild because I can pull it back no problem while flaccid.

I am with a girl and we are heading to the stage where sex will most likely occur soon. I am very nervous because the last time I tried sex with a girl, the foreskin did not pull all the way back when I was erect, and even when I inserted my penis into her, I couldn't really feel any pleasure and lost hardness very quickly. I was really embarrassed and now I am really frightened at the thought that this could happen again with this new girl.

I noticed that if I pull the skin back while flaccid and keep it there while getting erect, my head becomes a deep red, and also I tend to not feel as much, it is like numb. When I am erect I notice an almost constriction like appearance behind the glans. I don't know if this also has an effect and is also causing me to lose hardness.



Any advice? Please and thank you.

 
    
AuthorReply

(Login Paul_B.)

Because I have described it so very often in previous discussions,

May 19 2012, 5:46 AM 

I will not go into either the mechanics or the ethics of your sexual exploits (such as why you would ever propose to do this without a condom?).

Suffice it to say that we have didactically described the exercises you need to do to loosen your foreskin and frænulum, and of course in the longer term, that is your solution.

What I am going to suggest (and as variants of your question appear so frequently on purported "help" sites such as Yahoo!Answers where it is a great waste of time replying,) is that your actual problem, is "stage fright" ("performance anxiety") whereby surprising as it may seem to you, you can not get or maintain an erection merely because you wish to or even because you are squeezing up to a (presumably) naked and receptive young lady.

Anxiety - fear (of what you anticipate will happen because it did before) together with whatever degree of discomfort you experienced due to this escapade - is a very effective suppression of erectile function. You actually do have to be "in the mood" for it and have a positive expectation. As soon as something happens that you sense is "wrong" - not feeling what you expect, or a "twinge" of a tight foreskin being pushed back - you lose your focus on the sexual excitement, and start worrying about what will happen next. So as soon as your erection fails to meet expectations, your fear is confirmed and becomes conclusively stronger.

I could be wrong, but the same thing would (and probably should) happen if you hear her father approaching on the other side of the door. happy.gif

 
    
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