why be a critic?
why be any thing
at all
when you can simply be
and let be?
even drunkards may see
that depth exists
only as perception...
the point of nightsword
is a voice--
a voice which speaks
sans rancor,
sans deprecation,
sans judgement--
a voice
from the shadows...
shadows of the past?
shadows of the future?
these too exist
only as perception...
nightsword exists,
nightsword is...
nightsword
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One critisizes to impose their opinion on someone else..... heheh we all have our roles...
Certainly a creative response on yer part.. albeit one that I dont appreciate, I prefer rhyming poetry... heheeh preferably of the dirty limeric variety...
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..there's a lot of emphasis these days on "don't be judgemental." "Don't be so critical.."..."Don't be so mean.".While that's perfectly fine for society,I myself prefer what I like,what I want.ANYONE can spew out anything they please,sit back,belch,and say,"I have done this.Therefore,it is good.".But what is the value in THAT,I ask?Do we create art to better the world and ourselves,or do we create art to indulge in a sort of "mental masturbation" that we have to keep hidden away from critical eyes because deep down inside,we know that if we ever were REALLY tested, REALLY critiqued..we wouldn't stand up for two seconds.Personally,I welcome criticism. I would PREFER someone outside of myself take a HARD look at my work,and say..."WELL..this is how it could be BETTER." "He who wrestles with me is my brother,for he makes me to be strong." Also by Nietzche...although I could be wrong. Heh.
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He merely offered an unhelpful quote with little
other justification than to show off his
supposed erudition.
I thought it was a nice poem.
da moth (of the death's head persuasion)
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Hehehe...kinda funny, how after all that lyricism he DIDN'T criticize anything! I agree with most of what he said, however... I rather folks pull no punches and be CONSTRUCTIVELY critical, rather than simply saying "it's good!" simply because I did it and they happen to know me and don't want to hurt my feelings. Damn it, HURT MY FEELINGS! I'm a big boy, I can take it! One thing I CAN'T standm howver, is someone just saying something like, "That sucked." I mean, come ON. That's not criticism, that's just being rude. I welcome opinions and suggestions, I DO NOT welcome uninspired insults spoken out of needless spite. (Which I found in abundance when I mistakenly decided to post one of my stories to a UseNET forum a few years back....)
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Very well then.While I had thought my simple lack of reference to the original posting was a critique enough,I will be more specific,since I wouldn't want to create a sense of "false erudition" and all that.
"Shadows of shadows
by nightsword
long shadows,
dark shadows,
I read your words,
sense your meanings
and am lost
in the shadows
of your dreams....
nightsword"
Simple,and a little on the juvenile side.The rhyme scheme is non-existent(but,if it's meant to be blank verse,I suppose that's all right.)and it has no syllabic rythym at all.The images evoked(what little there are) are rather cliche'd "teen-age angsty" stand-by's (darkness,loneliness,frustration,etc,etc.)that can be found scrawled in an infinite number of (mercifully never seen by any other than the one who scrawled them..)high-school notebooks.
In short,it's trite,undisciplined,and cliche'd to the last word.
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yeah, well, that all may be true & all, but on the
other hand, while he opened himself up to your
critique, he didn't ask for it. he just posted a
little poem.
well, you takes yer chances I guess.
and there's a sh*tload of bad poetry flying around
on the web.
I can afford an encouraging word to anyone I meet,
but it's way too much to bother with ripping all
these little hobbyist poets a new one.
Do YOU write?
Sphinxmoth
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"He merely offered an unhelpful quote with little
other justification than to show off his
supposed erudition."
"I can afford an encouraging word to anyone I meet,
but it's way too much to bother with ripping all
these little hobbyist poets a new one."
Am I the ONLY one who smells just the faintest whiff of hypocrisy,here?
I noted a comment by someone who replied,on the value of honest criticism.To that,I replied with my opinion..for which I was damned for NOT offering any critique on something that,in my opinion,wasn't worth noting.THEN,I find that AFTER I give this requested critique,I am again damned for so doing.Which is it to be,Sphinxmoth..the Lady,or the Tiger?
(Which is better..to ask,"Do YOU write?",or to ask,Do you write WELL?")
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Twice?
All I admit to was coming out of the box a little aggressively in my first post to Drunkard, which I
felt a qualm about even then. I don't recall requesting your critique on anything at all.
I conceded my opinion of the poor little piece of
writing that started this all, and that was weak and hypocritical, but I was only trying to get my foot in the door around here in the first place.
I expected, somehow, some level of attitude around a board like this.
Thanks for not disappointing.
moth
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I must admit,there is nothing I can say.You have stymied me,Moth.Your absolute lack of any form of integrity has completely defeated me.The victory,then,is yours.I concede it utterly.
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In the whole 5 years I've been on the Net, and that includes a fair amount of time on UseNet - the ultimate den of flames and battered egos, this marks the first time I have EVER seen someone concede defeat. Albeit, with such heavily dripping sarcasm it's spilling over the side of the plate and drenching the cat under the table...
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that the fact I said I prefered the dirty limeric variety of poetry may preclude me of any sophistication claim... my point that was I believe poetry used by people who believe that communicating in a "poetic" way gives off an air of an elitist attitude when I think a simple and concise statement would have carried more weight.. in my demented little world.... anyway... but any criticisn I receive, sphinx moth's by you are welcome..
PS sorry bout my lack of sentence structuce I'm kinda stoned now and may seem a little disjointed
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This board seems a little slow compared to some others I post on.
But if you take nightsword's 'why be a critic'
post & cast it prose-wise, it does seem fairly
simple & concise. Perhaps then just a little
mannered, but nothing worse.
Drunkard, your name alone disavows & precludes you
from any claims of sophistication (LOL).
I don't get off on elitism, either, but I'm also
an incorrigible, irrepressible poet myself, & I
understand nightsword's motivation.
I like limericks, too. I even like 'The Shooting
of Dan McGrew', to show you how low I can go.
Pass that what you got over here....
sphinxmoth
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Wow you responded so respectfully and hastefully.. if thats a word but ya... congrats! now I have a motivation to return here regularly
well I'm an artsy bugger myself thats what I do but my attitude is thus that I figure what I like about me is I'm an artist ...( grrr I hate saying it but I am) but I dont act like one... though maybe sometimes it comes out... I suppose admitedly I was a bit hostile to poor li'l nightsword but he took it in stride kinda .. it seems so thats good anyway I'm rambling...
ooh I got the roach from what I was smoking if you want it?:)
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yeah, well, maybe I better 'fess up right away....
No score for this post
October 6 2000, 8:56 AM
I'm pretty lousy at perpetrating deceptions for
any convincing length of time. I only found this
message board a few days ago, mind--well, same day
I posted, I didn't exactly hold back.
I imagine I'm a crone among all you folk. I'm just
kind of looking for new music, new ideas, new
people to talk to.
I just haven't established that you're the guys.
I'm an artist, a poet, a gardener, a witch, an
amateur botanist--(yes, pass that over, like I
said--jeez, it's kinda tiny--oh well, beggars can't be choosers).
Wot else?
I read, not much fiction these days, tho'. Like
movies. Movies like Street of Crocodiles, City of
Lost Children, Nosferatu (Herzog's)....
I wouldn't mention so much of this right off, but
maybe your response will give me some idea of how
misplaced I might be posting here.
Oh, music--well, I'm VERY hesitant to go into that. I'm always trying to find new stuff I like,
& thought there might be some Goth stuff I could
go for, but there are obviously sub-genres & I
honestly haven't listened to much, yet.
Okay (wincing & waiting for the fall-out) I put
Garmarna Vengeance into the cd player & leave it
there all day, some days.
Be kind to me, my dog just died & I'm still in
deep grieving. Really. (sort of trying to work up
a little sympathy so I don't get slammed too hard
here).
Okay, then (preparing myself) take your best shot.
Sphinxmoth
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I certainly like finding new people to harass and talk to... my current stockpile of friends is a bit on the low side... heheheheh that sounds bad.. but thats ok I'm a sort that has only a few close friends anyway... well my taste in movies is not exactly being appeased .. .when I go out seeing movies its usually with this 12 yr old that I used to babysit... and he calls up and says hey you wanna see this.. though I dont particularly want to he's fun to hang out with .. anyway I usually watch whatever movies are on the history channel... cuz I'm a history nerd.. ooh but bout yer dog. my parent's dog recently died.. though I'm grieving.. I'm more happy about it cuz she had a good long life (13 yrs is a long time for a basset hound) and she was active til the end... but I sympathize for ya cuz puppies are good friends..
though I blamed my lack of sentence structure on stonedness...I must admit its cuz basically dont put any forethought into what I'm typing and type as I think.... I blame it on the net but anyway ya I'm shuttin' up now
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WELCOME! Sorry, I guess I should have extended my hand a tad sooner, what with being the guy who MADE this board and all... Sorry that things are a bit slow at the moment, we're still trying to lure posters over our way. You may have read in some recent postings that I've passed the moderator duties over to Drunkard (whom, I see, you have already met), as I've found myself far too busy with work, my music projects and my writing to be of much use as a moderator. Not to say I won't put in an appearance or two now and again...
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yeah, I picked up on your Big Kahuna status pretty quickly. I like your board here. a little slow right now, huh? that's okay, I can only ease into things kinda slow, anyway, & I don't mind establishing myself around here without a lot of competition.
I thought this was about the best Goth-related board I found (& I looked at a whole bunch). I wanted a place I could talk to some people & get turned on to some new music I could dig. Meet Drunkard, who says he's not exactly Goth--hmmm.
And the first thing he turns me onto that's really cool is a delta bluesman I've barely heard of.
dat's life.
thanks for the welcome.... da moth
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too many hexes, there bub. don't try to out-witch a witch. to twice bind is to unbind all, as they say. sure i know you're a guy. you're Tom, right? if that's so, then I seen your pitcher, too.
I have to reserve the comment on Soulfly til I've given them a fair chance. did't like the 10 sec clip I heard, but that's not fair, is it?
Burnside, tho--very likely gonna end up in the collection one o these days.
my favorite album of Peruvian music has never come out on cd--Urubamba, named after the river.
I'll remember you said Puya for when I get a chance to listen--I don't forget stuff too easily.
Sphinxmoth
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yup that is me alright... eekers.. I got more heheh flattering pics of me if yer curious heheheh well with soulfly.. some songs aren't for everyone... but try the ones I reccomended ya burnside rocks... hehehe umm.. for puya..try solo... thats good... ok well I know I'm sounding like an annoying little goof now... listen to it .. listen!! ehehehhe I'll shutup
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why be a critic?(Because I have taste.)
why be any thing (because it's better than being nothing.)
at all
when you can simply be
and let be?(Oh.A Zen Riddle.How cute.)
even drunkards may see
that depth exists
only as perception...
(Depth exists only as perception?Try explaining that concept after I've shoved you off the edge of a canyon.)
the point of nightsword(There's a point in all this?)
is a voice--( A pointy voice?)
a voice which speaks
sans rancor,
sans deprecation,
sans judgement--
(sans grammar
sans syntax
sans originality)
a voice
from the shadows...
(The shadows of what?)
shadows of the past?(OHHH..THOSE Shadows..)
shadows of the future?(Hey..make up your mind.)
these too exist
only as perception...
(You wouldn't have that problem if you'd just learn to work the light-switch.)
nightsword exists(Are you sure?You seem kind of doubtful on that.),
nightsword is...(Is what,is what???)
nightsword(Nightsword is..is...redundant,apparently.)
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Sorry that things are a bit slow at the moment, we're still trying to lure posters over our way. You may have read in some recent postings that I've passed the moderator duties over to Drunkard (whom, I see, you have already met), as I've found myself far too busy with work, my music projects and my writing to be of much use as a moderator. Not to say I won't put in an appearance or two now and again...