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I need some serious help. Perhaps after I write this all out (vent), I'll feel better... but right now, I feel like I'm losing my mind! I apologize in advance that it will probably be loooong...
Is anyone else's child "programmed" to do the EXACT opposite of what you ask? Do they say NO to everything. Is every small thing a battle to get accomplished? Maybe I have spoiled Josh too much? Or maybe I'm TOO strict and need to let go of some of the little things??
Josh is #4 of 4... he's 5 and the others are 7, 9 and 11. I want my children to love Josh. I want them to be the ones that write amazing essays about him, about having a sibling with Down Syndrome, about how awesome he is!! But holy cow... he bugs the PANTS off them!! He wants undivided attention and he wants it to be rough (wrestling, Wii, running thru the house like wild animals)! That stuff is all great in small amounts... but he never EVER settles down!
He just looks at my 11 y/o and says "no Caleb"... he continues to repeat that over and over until my 11 y/o nearly comes unglued! We try to redirect but nothing works. Ignoring doesn't work. Walking away doesn't work (he follows OR picks up where he left off the next time he sees Caleb's face)! I try to explain that we need to be patient with him... but it's really not fair to my other kids either!
I spend so much time alone with him while my husband takes the others to do fun things. His behavior doesn't really make it easy for us to go places, which makes me sad for HIM cause he misses out, makes me sad for THEM because we're not all together and it makes me sad for ME because I'M missing out on having fun with THEM! Restaurants are just awful... mostly because he doesn't EAT anything and therefore won't let US enjoy either!
He is constantly putting his hands or his feet (YES, feet) in our faces, jumping on us, ripping things from our hands, being LOUD when we are trying to watch something or play something, coughing in our faces, digging us...
And you know... I don't even think he's being MEAN when he does this stuff. He's not a mean kid... he just wants our attention ALL THE TIME and will do ANYTHING to get it!
And when I tell him 'no'... don't you know, that's what he does! For instance, he loves to cut with scissors so he is happy for a bit, then calls my name to show me that he has his pants in the scissors. There's no winning... if I say no, he cuts. If I say nothing, he cuts. There is no redirection that works... there is no reward for good behavior that works. I think he GETS that he's not supposed to do it because he gives us 'the look' before he actually carries thru!!
And saying my name... or their names... he calls to us again and again and again!! Mama, mama, mama, mama.... even after I say 'what' or try to engage him in other conversation! He knows it bothers me apparently... cause he just goes to town! And most recently, if he doesn't understand what I'm saying, he'll ask 'what'? Which is great right? Well, he asks what 12,000 x and I actually have had to sit him in time out to stop it!!
Ahh yes, time outs... those don't work!! He doesn't mind sitting for 2 minutes or 2 hours (ask me how I know)! I experimented one day to see how long he'd say... he was almost at the 2 hour mark but I felt so bad for him! LOL! He couldn't care less! I don't think he 'gets' taking things away and, if he does, then he's not fond enough of anything that he'll be upset if we take it away!
I sometimes can get him to comply with 1st/then... but it's a constant routine of finding something to motivate him. Nothing ever works more than once and often times, it doesn't work at all!
He's obviously having issues at school because of all of this. I feel like it's BEYOND stubborn. I just don't know what to do or how to handle him! Again, he's not mean, he never tantrums... he's just so stinkin' annoying!! I feel sad even saying that... but seriously, I don't know what do do anymore! I use all the famous mom excuses... he's not feeling well, he's hungry, he's tired... none of them are usually true!!
Then there's eating... that's a whole 'nother issue!!!! Suffice to say he lives on very little food and mealtimes are NO fun!! He's 5 for heaven's sake...
So is everyday a struggle with your kids?? I would give my right arm for someone to call him sweet (you know the ol' myth about DS... well my son missed that part of the gene completely)! He CAN be sweet... gives great kisses right before he sticks his finger thru your nose and into your brain!! ACK!!!
Does anyone have ANY suggestions??? I'm sure the school will recommend a behavioral specialist soon enough...
When I read posts here, I don't read any of this stuff? Does anyone struggle with any of this? How do you function day to day? I'm weary...
I wish I had advice. It's not because Josh never does stuff...he definitely does. With Josh, the word NOW seems to work if I say it sternly enough. "Josh put the scissors down." he doesn't do it. I ask again more harshly "Josh put the scissors down NOW!" He looks at me and in his best smart alec voice says "Okay! FINE!" and puts it down. And in my sweetest happy voice I say "Thank You."
I have no idea how that started working - but it works for us.
I wish I had better real advice.
Hopefully someone is able to answer with something more substantial.
if it makes you feel any better emme bugs the crap out of me alot of times! I have no words of wisdom but has anyone ever suggested ADHD? You may want to look into it as that sounds pretty typical of some behaviors associated with it.
BIG HUG!!!
Vicki, mom to Mackenzie (4) Emerson "Emme" (May 06, DS) and Austin (9/07)
we were talking about how 'no' really means, 'go faster' ... Chelsea's only two and she's a mess. She's into everything and doesn't stop, it's 24/7. Her latest is crawling out of her crib, so now I have no way to physically restrain her. My husband and I are really sad too b/c we don't see an end in sight. I think they're two totally different types of craziness, but craziness just the same.... Oh, and my 5 year old eats virtually NOTHING! He's the pickiest kid in the world and goes to bed hungry multiple times a week. I don't know what else to do with him! Hang in there.
www.cbranam.blogspot.com
Carey, mom of Logan, 5 (4/23/03), and Chelsea (T21), 2 (1/10/06)
This lovely invention saved our lives! Max started crawling out of the crib at 2 and I knew he was nowhere ready for a big boy bed. So someone on this board sold me their cribtent. Google it. It was wonderful. I'd send you mine but I passed it on. Made sleeping time a dream! And yes 2 and beyond has been crazy. Bad crazy and good crazy. I'd have to say though that it does get better. With age, Max is learning impulse control. It's not perfect, but better!!
I have no words of wisdom but has anyone ever suggested ADHD? You may want to look into it as that sounds pretty typical of some behaviors associated with it. 
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